Tips for toddler bath/bed with a newborn?

[blushingmare]

DS is 2 weeks old and DD is nearly 2. She's been pretty good about all the changes so far, but our evenings are tricky! He's just cluster feeding from about 4:30 onwards, which I know is completely good and normal, but it makes getting DD's dinner, bath and bedtime done quite a challenge, especially as bedtime has always been quite a fragile time for her - we only very recently have been able to leave her to go to sleep on her own.

I've been using my stretchy sling plenty with him, which helps a lot. But around bath & bedtime DD just wants to be picked up and cuddled a bit, which isn't so easy whilst babywearing! Also, she started kicking and hitting him in the sling when she was at his level on the change mat last night, which is not a habit I'd like to encourage!

I know I could just put him down and leave him to cry whilst I put her to bed as he'll be fine as soon as he's back on the boob again, whereas if she gets emotional at bedtime it goes on and on. But it's just easier said than done listening to a newborn screaming and actually DD finds it upsetting/distracting when he's crying too, so that still doesn't make for a stress-free bedtime!

I'm sure this must be a common challenge, so any tips from those have done it would be much appreciated!

Don't have much advice as we're in the same boat, but did want to say that it's already getting much easier even though the baby is only 6 weeks old. Cluster feeding is dying down a bit, and he's more context to lay on a mat whilst I sort DD (2.8) out in the bath.

So it may just be a case if muddling through for now, but it'll only be a month or so til things get a bit easier.

Content not context!

We just take one each, husband does toddler bedtime and I handle 5 week olds evening cluster feed. I was thinking just last night I've no idea how I'd put them to bed on my own!

Thanks WillSing - I had a feeling it might be a question of just riding out the storm - ah well. Misty - sadly not an option for us as DH isn't home from work til well past bedtime.

A little while ago now I had 2.5 DD and baby DD and I did do bath/bed alone due to DH working pattern. I had a bath float mattress from catalogue which was full of polystyrene balls and popped baby on there and gently let toddler move it around bath, as a treat, after she'd washed hands, face etc with her flannel.

Got both dressed in nightwear and read story propped up feeding baby, while toddler snuggled off to sleep. I used to make a nest of quilt on floor of toddler room and then we'd sit feeding for a bit til her sister dropped off.

A bit later DH would come in and make our dinner whilst I fed/nursed the baby.

If we'd had a manic day, I used to leave the bath but it quickly became something they both enjoyed. After floaty thing, baby DD had a bath seat to join in bath time, a life saver!

And do remember, it's not forever, just a few weeks and it will improve....

I never found a solution to this one. Basically I stopped doing bath time until the baby grew out of cluster feeding. If my husband wasn't home in time to do baths the toddlers went to bed dirty!

Re the toddler being upset over baby crying, this is very usual and you can use it to your advantage. Your toddler does actually want you to look after the baby, even though she's jealous too. I just simply explained to toddler, we can't leave our baby to cry (much!) I didn't ignore you when you needed help and now we must sort the baby. Show that when her brother is happily feeding or sleeping, it works better for you all...and then she gets lovely attention again. You can always chat over a nodding/feeding baby, just get her to snuggle up gently. I often had mine alone and it has given them a great, close relationship.

No helpful advice, just wanted to say well done to those of you coping on your own at bedtime with newborn and toddler. I'm lucky as DH was home in time for bath and bed every night when I was in this phase - DS is now 3mo and DD is 18mo. He was away for work for a week when DS was 8 weeks and I enlisted DSis and DM in his place. I guess I can also say it will pass, even I can do it fairly easily now!

Similar situation here new baby boy and 2 1/2 year old DD.

I sometimes do bath earlier than I would normally for them both so baby isn't grumpy while putting DD in her Jim jams and drying her hair etc means she hangs around a bit after bath playing when she'd of normally gone straight to bed but that's ok.

DS is almost 12 weeks and I'm now finding he's ready for bed first so my DD sits with me while I change/feed/read story to LO in his bedroom...This works unless he's grumpy in which case I'm pacing around trying to console him and DD gets a bit fed up waiting around. I leave DD to play as well (within ear shot) while I put baby to bed if she's happily playing.

If DD needs to go to bed first, I feed baby while reading her bedtime story but this isn't ideal as I can't cuddle her and baby fusses so much prefer to deal with him first.

I've also done a few morning baths as well just to make life a bit simpler!