Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Original poster

Advice needed - ex trying to takes son away from me

15 replies

Liamfh · 19/05/2014 22:07

I need to start this by saying I'm a man. That means a lot when it comes to children in the eyes of the law.

I split from my wife about 18 months ago and we have a son who is 3 next month. It's not ideal but it happened and we have had a signed agreement of joint custody split 50/50 for over a year. He has 2 set days midweek with me, 2 with his mum and we alternate Friday-Sunday each week. He has a bedroom in each house and I don't have anybody new. I'm not sure if she does but if she does I don't think they will have been introduced to my son yet.

My son is thriving, he's very clever (I know everyone says that), and I'm a very hands on dad. I do all the park, swimming stuff but also lots of educational things with him.

My ex has decided she wants to see him more which I completely understand. I want to see him more too but that wouldn't be in his best interest.

She's going to take me to court and she's confident she's going to win. I need advice as I miss him so much already when he's at his mums. Is she automatically going to win??

OP posts:
LadyGardenersQuestionTime · 19/05/2014 22:13

I am not a professional just a parent but surely she would have to show that a new arrangement would benefit him in some way - it can't be just her personal whim. So either there is something about the current arrangement that isn't working or is detrimental to him, or there is something about her proposed arrangement that will be much better for him. If he is happy and thriving and you've done a consistently good job it would be unreasonable for anything to change. Can she afford to take you to court?

Original poster
Liamfh · 19/05/2014 22:18

I should also add I do all the standard stuff too and he always comes to me with long nails, she's never taken him I get his hair cut, I take him the doctors and dentist etc.

OP posts:
Original poster
Liamfh · 19/05/2014 22:21

Her parents are pretty wealthy and her dads friend owns a law firm in London! I can't afford it if it goes to court but she's seems to think its a formality which scares me.
She thinks he will be better having one home rather than two but it does seem to be her wishes rather than what's best for him. It's the fact she's so confident she will win which is freaking em out

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families Family law General parenting
fourlegstwolegs · 20/05/2014 14:11

Oh dear poor you - however common sense dictates that unless she has a really good, valid reason, the courts won't automatically side with her. You can always represent yourself if needs be so don't worry too much about the cost of lawyers.

Original poster
Liamfh · 26/05/2014 09:09

I got a letter from a solicitor over the weekend that basically says she's taking me to court and cutting off contact withe and my son until then.

I have never wanted it to not be a bank holiday before but can she do this?

She's skipping mediation and the letter is full of complete lies that makes me out to be some sort of aggressive psycho she's too scared to come near. We were getting on so well for months this is all breaking my heart!

OP posts:
wheresthelight · 26/05/2014 09:55

When she says cutting contact with you and your son, does that mean he will be with you 100% til it goes to court?

I would see a solicitor first thing Tuesday morning

Original poster
Liamfh · 27/05/2014 10:58

Sorry I worded it quite poorly, she's stopping me seeing my son until court, which I haven't even got a date for so could take weeks!!

OP posts:
CatsCantTwerk · 27/05/2014 11:05

I would advise getting to the court tomorrow morning and filing for a contact order, make sure you state on the forms that you will be applying for interim contact till the court case. Include the signed agreement of the 50/50 residence and keep any contact between yourself and your ex to email/text only.

Trapper · 27/05/2014 11:05

See a solicitor urgently. I do not believe she is allowed to restrict your access in this manner - any more than you would be allowed to suddenly decide to keep your child with you.
I hope this gets resolved quickly for you - I can't imagine how I would cope if this happened to me and my children (I am also a father).

wheresthelight · 27/05/2014 11:10

See a solicitor urgently as they can file for am emergency order to stop her.

Good luck

SanityClause · 27/05/2014 11:15

Can I also suggest you either ask for this to be moved to legal, or start a new thread there.

Some of the legal people who post on MN are extraordinarily helpful.

Original poster
Liamfh · 29/05/2014 14:36

Thanks for the replies, i will put a thread in the legal section. I got a letter from child maintenance today. She's making a claim based on her having 100% custody.

I don't know why but she's going for the jugular!

OP posts:
Original poster
Liamfh · 29/05/2014 14:40

It may be because I'm using my phone but I can't see a legal section?

OP posts:
NatashaBee · 29/05/2014 14:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ChewyGiraffe · 29/05/2014 16:28

Is this the legal section Sanity refers to? www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_matters

I do hope you can get some legal representation though: it seems unfairly unbalanced if you were to represent yourself and your ex had expensive hired help! Many law firms do a free 30 minute consult for starters though.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page