Am I Insane To Be Giving Ds A Party?

[GeorginaA]

A bit of background. I'm currently 31 weeks pregnant. Ds' 3rd birthday is 6th May. Technically I'm due 24th May, but could be induced 2-3 weeks early.

Mainly because ds has got really excited over other kid's birthdays, I've started to organise him one for either the first of May or the 24th April (I'd prefer 1st May with it being closer to ds' birthday). I'm going to try and make it easy on myself by having it at Wacky Warehouse even though (to be honest) the expense of paying someone else to do it isn't really needed in the finances right now. I'm due to ask about available dates this Friday and have been making a list of who to invite (currently standing at around 11 children including ds, although I need to check with nursery that he doesn't have any other friends I don't know about - there's four names that crop up over and over again though, so I assume their his "core" pals).

Last year, he ended up having 2 parties... one for family to visit and one for his 6 baby group friends. There's absolutely no way I'm doing two this year... family can take a running jump if they expect me to organise two events. Although I can imagine (if I'm not careful) that family visits from in-laws and my mum around that time will be carefully coordinated to ensure maximum hassle and disruption.

Anyway. Without offer of help or anything else, dh has just informed me that he thinks I'm insane for doing a party for ds at all. Agreed, it is just about last straw level considering all the other things I need to get done before baby no. 2 arrives. Being all defensive I just snapped back at him, but now I just don't know. Am I insane? I'd feel awful now telling ds he isn't going to have a party after I've just told him he is (to find out who he wanted to invite), but at the same time I can't see me having the energy to be the hostess with the mostest at 36/37 weeks pregnant either.

I don't think your mad GeorginaA. I did the same thing for DS1 when pregnant (DS2 was born 4 Weeks later.)
I think it is nice to make a big uss of them before a baby is born. A lot of the attention is taken away from them when a baby arrives, no matter how hard you try. So i think you should go for it if you possibly can.

That should be fuss not uss!!!

dd1 was 3 4 days before dd2 was born and she had a party - small one at home, 5 or 6 of her friends and their mothers and younger siblings. One of the mothers made a cake for her, I didn't have to do much at all. Could you do it that way instead of the Wacky Warehouse performance? Just have a few children (the core friends and maybe a couple of the baby group friends+mums, or would that make the others feel left out?) at your house, you don't even have to have games, they can play with ds's toys and watch a video and eat rubbish. If the grandparents feel the need they can come and help you!

I am a very lazy undynamic person even when I'm not pregnant so it is do-able!

no, not mad at all - it will be lovely to do something which focuses on ds before his universe is turned upside down by the new arrival....and not a good move to cancel it now, he will probably sense that its because of the baby. just make sure it is as easy as possible for you.
iwas in a similar position - ds1 turned 2 5 days before my due date. although he wasn't so aware that he was about to have a birthday, i reaaly wanted to make it nice for him. we just had a few friends round and i made a cake - i couldn't really do anything that couldn't be cancelled easily as there was a reasonable chance of being in labour! I was really glad i'd done it.

If you were having the party at home Georgina then yes I'd say you were mad. But you're not. My DS was 3 in February and we had a low effort party at a soft play place and he hasn't stopped talking about it. Its a really important memory for him. And I think it would be good for your DS to have his own special day before the baby comes along - 3 is when they start getting the concept of birthdays IME. Buy a cake, do Wacky Warehouse do party bags? If not can you just buy them all a single book or something rather than shopping round for little goodies? Then on the day just plonk yourself at a table near the action and let everyone come to you. Arm your DH with the camera and put him in charge of rescuing DS if required.

Organising your family/in-laws will probably be more hassle. I find that whenever its DS's birthday they all have a different time when its convenient for them to make a visit and I'm cooking meals/stuck in the house with DS for the whole weekend.

Obviously disagree with JanH. But in my defence we did end up with 21 children.

I had one ont he 8th of august once, due on 2 nd of sep

WE had a big birthday party for DS last year, 6 weeks before DS's 4th birthday, not because of pregnancy but for other reasons, like we were supposed to move house 3 days later... I reckon in your situation I'd do something, and at home too (because I find that less stressful than finding another venue, and we had nearly 20 kids, too!), probably on 24th April, as one big celebration for your DS before the baby arrives. But only you know how stressful you'll really find it.

GorginaA, I do understand your dilemma. Personally I would go for it, for the reasons stated, it is the last one when it will be just him. As to having it at home or at Wacky Warehouse, I would go the Wacky Warehouse route. OK it might cost more (cut down on his pressie maybe??) but you will be able to sit and let others do the work for you. Make sure all the grown ups understand that you will organise but will not be doing any major hosting and they will all pitch in I am sure. A lot of 3 yr olds parents will want to/expect to stay anyway.

I am not sure what Wacky Warehouse offer in the way of parties, I assume they do the food and have party 'hosts' to play games etc. Our local place do all but make a cake. I would also look at cutting down on numbers, this sort of party is better if 8 or 10 come. I know this might be hard but everyone would understand if you told them why you didn't want more. If you can choose his 5 or 6 'best' friends, if you haven't heard their names why invite them as far as nursery goes, and that is it. This would cut costs and be les stressful, but DS would still have a party.

When you say you have loads to do before no2 arrives can't DH take some of that off your back, or is it all your responsibility?

Just to make you feel no better, my good friend hosted a party for her 2 yr old, a few days before she was due. We all joked she would have the next one that night, and guess what - she did!! So she has 2, 2 yrs apart exactly More strangely the year before atteh 1st b'day party I was pg and due the next day, unknown to me I was already starting as my waters were leaking!! I just thought I had a bladder problem that day!! I went into hospital that night and DD2 was born the next day

No time but yes, I'd have one for him but make it lower key, couple of kids at home (unless it's easier at Wacky Warehouse). You don't have to do much at 3 but I still did it and I don't think you should cancel it now, he'd be upset presumably. And won't DH do the bulk of it since he thinks you've got so much on your plate?

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If you're mad then so was I

DD2 was due on DD1's 4th birthday which happened to be a Friday, so I booked DD1s party on the Saturday (1 day overdue!). I expected to be "late" anyway so it wasn't a problem.

My friend had said she would take over the party should DD2 decide to have made an appearance - as it happens she decided to wait another 15 days

Hmm... I might have the decision made for me... Wacky Warehouse booked up until 29th May (for weekend parties)

Looking around now to see if there's another branch nearby...

Does it have to be a weekend?

It does really if his cousins are going to be there.

I've finally booked it - 2nd May... didn't want to do a Sunday because the slot is only 1.5 hrs instead of 2 and is an extortionate £99 for minimum 15 children, instead of the normal £5.99 a head.

Someone tell me this is all going to be worth it before I go and drown myself in gin. (metaphorical gin of course, being pregnant and all... although I bloody well deserve and will get wine this evening)

Well done! Yes, I really think it will be worth it - come on, he'll love it, and you really haven't got much more time to make a fuss of him all on his own. that's how I felt anyway - a good way of appeasing my guilt about the impending arrival!

Do the party and tell DH he's insane for not considering how a 3 year old were to feel if he didn't have one. IMO, they're certainly old enough by then to realise that birthday equates party.

Thank you all! Feel much better now that I'm doing the right thing.

Now I just hope all 11 children can actually make it or it's going to be the most expensive children's party per head ever ... argh!