Overfriendly DD - or is it me?

[Pramface73]

Hi, I'm interested in other people's opinions on this running battle I'm having with DD (10). New neighbours have just moved in, which includes two teenage girls aged about 14 and 16. There are no other families with kids where we live, and so DD is delighted that there are now other 'children' to talk to as she is a very outgoing and chatty girl. The problem (as I see it) is that these girls can't go into their back garden without my DD starting a full-on conversation with them over the fence. I'm quite reserved so I don't know if it's just me being me, but I told DD to give them a bit of space and that she doesn't have to have a full-on conversation with them every time they venture outside. She thinks I'm saying that she's annoying and that they can't possibly like her etc etc. They seem like really nice girls, but if it was me at that age I would get fed up! Do you think I'm being unreasonable?

You are right - it would be nice for the other girls to be able to use their garden without your DD in their faces all the time. Get a higher fence.

You are right. It's difficult for her to understand as st her age she probably doesn't want personal space so much

They are essentially in a private space in their garden and if coming outside means she is always engaging with thm then that spoils their ability to use their garden

Not sure how to make her see it though !

Your right my neighbours 4 year old does this. He's lovely and I'm always friendly but I'm a bit that his mum lets him stand on a table and stare into our garden for ages at a time.

I think a ten year old is old enough to understand that people have a right to privacy and gardens aren't communal areas

My DD1 did this last summer, she was 4 going on 5 and the twin boys next door were 12, it was the first time we had kids next door and DD was desperate to talk to them/engage them/show them what she was doing.

I didn't want her to pester them every time they were outside and I worried about it becoming an issue. Luckily though I found the novelty wore off as the summer went on and she didn't spend all summer bugging them! Phew!

This year it is happening again as the weather has just improved enough to play outside so it is all a novelty again!

I think just keep reminding her that they may not want to chat all the time and that they are a bit older/will have friends over and may not be into 'playing' as much. It would have been so lovely for your DD if they were a few years younger!

Thanks for the replies, yes the challenge is to make my DD see it - especially as the girls so far have been really kind to her. She tends to take things rather personally though so I am struggling to make her understand it without it becoming a big dwama! Maybe 6ft panels are the way to go !!

Thanks oobedobe - I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who worries about things like this! DH thinks I'm over-reacting but he doesn't seem to understand the personal space issue either and has a few times got into arguments with random people in queues who get uncomfortable with his close proximity!! Anyway, hopefully as you say the novelty will wear off!

My next door neighbour has twin girls and from the day we moved in we can't come in or go out without them chatting to us but I love it! They are lovely girls and they worship my baby. And it's nice to have a friendly neighbour!

But u can see why others wouldn't like it. I work with kids so it is normal for me iyswim

My next door neighbour has twin girls and from the day we moved in we can't come in or go out without them chatting to us but I love it! They are lovely girls and they worship my baby. And it's nice to have a friendly neighbour!

But u can see why others wouldn't like it. I work with kids so it is normal for me iyswim

We have this problem from the other side. Like itiswhatitis, our neighbours' kids do this. They stand on a table and prattle at me every time I set foot outside. They say my name over and over like a machine gun until they get my attention. They're nice kids and I love my neighbour but it is really too much! I never know how to broach it. Last year I had a very difficult summer and the last thing I wanted was to make small talk with little children while I cried quietly hanging washing on the line or doing a bit of gardening. Dreading it a bit this summer too, to be honest!

So to OP I think it is important to stop DD doing this but I understand it's hard for her to grasp.

Cookie I'm friendly to a point but if I'm really not in the mood I say hello then basically ignore him completely. When he stands at the fence he is only a couple of metres from our kitchen window and has been known to gawp at us eating dinner. We don't even acknowledge him if we are in the kitchen even though he is shouting and waving like mad. I feel a bit mean I know he's just a little boy but I'm not going to encourage it but I can't bring myself to tell him to go away. It's a six foot fence as well! We jumped for joy when they moved in last year and removed the leylandi trees that blocked all the light, kinda miss them now though!

I could have written this, my DH is the same too, that's where my DD gets it from, holidays are a nightmare! X