Settle in sessions at nursery

[SweetPeaPods]

How many did your child have and for how many hours?
Ds (11m) started nursery in April, and has been going once or twice a week for 2hrs a time. He's not yet eating at nursery, just refusing their food & won't nap there but falls asleep as soon as I get him in car. If it's a pm session he's quite difficult to settle at night as over tired. I go back to work end of May and asked when he'll have a longer settle in session. They advised he won't. When I go back to work he will be there 7.30-6 and worry he won't eat or nap and I'll have a nightmare couple of nights with him, and it would be easier to get him used to it now. Is this the norm or should I say something? Sorry for the essay!

If you think your LO needs a longer session can't you book some? It seems mental to me to not dry run a full day before your back at work, but what do I know, my LO is 8wks

No it seems daft to me, maybe I'm just all PFB but I really don't want to be worrying about him on my first day back.

Both dcs just had an hour's familiarisation while I stayed with them. Then straight into full days. That said, they were significantly older, at two years old. I don't think dd eats much there to be honest, but it's never been a problem - she always has a good breakfast.

Hi. DS is 11m and has been at nursery since 9m. He had five settling in sessions over a one week period (i.e. one a day). The first was an hour with me there, and then gradually increasing so day 2 was about 2.5 hours, day 3 3.5 and so on. Day 5 was about 5 or 6 hours I think. Then the following week he started on the permanent schedule which is 7:30 to 5:30, 4 days a week.

All children are different of course, but based on my own experience (DD who is 4.5 also started nursery at 9m) I would say that once or twice a week for only two hours at a time seems unlikely to help, and is more likely to unsettle a baby - he won't be getting an idea of what routine will be when he is there all day and might be getting confused and upset as a result. Also, I'm not sure what merit there is in having very short sessions like this so long in advance of starting "properly" - if you started in April and are not going back to work until the end of May that is say 6 weeks or more of a halfway house.

I'd ask them why they don't offer/haven't planned longer sessions and what suggestions they have for helping him to settle better. Ask if they would be prepared to do something a bit more like the program I outlined above - if their settling in sessions are usually free and they're unwilling to do the above because of that, would you be able to pay for his full place starting a week earlier than planned, and use that week for settling in of the type I describe? DS was at nursery for his full four days for a week before I went back to work, and although it felt a bit strange it actually made me feel better because I knew if there was a serious problem with settling in I was immediately available to get him.

Good luck - the first weeks are really hard, but (based on my sample of two!) they do settle in the end. Both mine love nursery - DD leaves this September in order to go to school and will really miss all her friends and the staff. DS has a great time too - he can rampage around without being told not to touch the TV every two minutes like at home!

We did 2 settle in sessions; first I stayed with her (an hour) second I left her there for 3 hours but stayed for first half hour.

However, she is now doing one full day a week and will be full time when I get a job. She seems to love it, and after the first few weeks and the first round of vom, cold, cough etc were done with she eats well (breakfast lunch tea and snacks). She has a different nap routine mainly because it's too much fun to sleep!

I specifically wanted her properly settled before I look for a job (was made redundant while on mat leave) as I figured I can't very well start somewhere then promptly take a load of time off for all the inevitable sickness bugs etc.

If you can afford it maybe doing a full day might be worth it?

All sorted, I'm going to pay for 2 afternoons and a full day over next 2 weeks.

Both my dc had 2 settling in sessions: the first was an hour with me there and the next was an hour without. Ds was fine but he was very easygoing anyway.
Dd screamed the place down when I left on the 2nd session (to another room where she couldn't see me) but soon calmed down. The staff were very good and understanding. I was worried that she wouldn't sleep or eat anything but they found a way to coax her - on the first day - and now she loves going.

How often are you going to be at work OP? I work 3 days a week. Dd was 9m when I went back and she had 2 weeks of settling. 2 hours, then half a day, then short days (730-3) then 2 full days.

It's not til they start going for the full days that the realise they will get fed at certain times and you know they're happy and can nap. I honestly would pay for more days before you start back or you'll possibly be fretting massively at work. Also, afternoons will be much harder for him as he'll be tired. Worth getting him used to a morning drop off IMHO.

Tbh I'd be very underwhelmed with a nursery who hadn't given you better advise on settling in. 2 hours twice a week is a disaster. Just enough to make him unsettled and not enough to reassure him you'll be back and it's an ok place to be.