What should I do?

[Mama4412]

Hi mums

Iv got a little bit of a dilemma :(

There is a chance that me and my sons father might get back together! This would make us 3 really happy!

But here's the catch! Because it was a very upsetting break up for me they now really dislike him and even my best friend (who wasn't even in my life when we split) says she won't accept it!

We have been apart for over 2 years now so if we got back together it would be a fresh start, like starting from the beginning and dating etc

Should I risk my families and friends being grumpy and go with my heart and my happiness!
Or do I give up the chance to be with him and be a family for our son just because they won't like it?

Any advice would be much appreciated!

Xxxx

I can tell by the way you've worded the last part of your post that you already know what you want to do. Could you elaborate on the circumstances of your initial break up? It's hard to judge if their concerns are valid without knowing a bit more if that's ok!

Hi
He left because he still had feeling for his first love and they got back together , they only lasted about 8 months before she broke his heart again!
I can see why they r reluctant but should I let that affect my happiness? Give then time maybe?

It means a lot to me that my son cud have his parents back together because when we were together we got on so well xxxx

If he wasn't violent or emotionally abusive and you think this will work this time then do what's right for you and your son. It would be nice for your son to have his dad around properly but make sure this isn't just a fleeting thing, it wouldn't be nice for your son to experience you two having an on off relationship.

I think you should repost on relationships to get more of an idea - it doesn't necessarily sound like a bad idea to get back together but I think it does require some hard thinking and head-over-heart mentality.

It could be a really positive thing but remember your family and friends are looking out for you and don't want to see you get hurt. If you decide to go ahead I think that you need to take it very slowly. Remember it's not just you who could get hurt but your 3yo as well. What steps has your ex taken to show you he's serious this time?

The relationships board might seem a little scary but I've always found the posters fair, focused on helping you get your head straight, and yes they will ask tough questions but at the end of the day it's just an internet forum, the decision will still be yours. But it's a very valuable sounding board and will likely bring up questions you haven't thought to ask yourself :)

No he was never violent or aggressive during our relationship, he was very loving! And even after we split if we rowed we never raised out voices! I think honestly in the whole time iv known him he's only ever shouted 2 or three times!
If course I wouldn't want it to be an in again off again relationship, that's why if we did I'd make sure it went very very slowly to protect me and my son!
He has always been honest with me and never hidden anything!
Our son is only 3 so ideally ff it worked it would be a lovely aged because he may grow up not remembering we were ever apart!
I will be very careful tho!
Thank u for ur advice :)
I think they r just worried because I was very hurt wen he left, I never showed it to my son I made sure he never felt any kind if big loss(he was only 1) so it was just hard for them to see me so broken!

Do u think they may accept it one day? (If it happens) xxx

They may do if it works out but they may not - the thing is that it's your decision and you are the one that has to live with it not them. If they care about you they'll stand by you regardless.

It does happen that couples benefit from time apart but you have to be sure that you can trust him again and that this woman no longer has a hold over him otherwise this will haunt your relationship. Also you need to be sure that he is with you because he wants to be not just because the other woman didn't work out. I really hope he is as you don't deserve to be hurt again.

Has he had much involvement with your son since he left?

Yh I know exactly what I mean and that's the reason I want things to be slow so I can avoid bein hurt and I can be 100% sure about it! He's got a lot of work to do to earn my trust again lol

Not a great deal to be honest he kinda went off the rails and didn't have much to do with anyone for a long time! Unfortunately my son doesn't really know who he is properly xx