Feeling like a crap parent :(

[possiblyprecious]

DD1, age six. Can be so draining with whiny, whingy, negative behaviour. Eg whining about dinner, refuses to eat it, disregards the requests for her to at least sit quietly with the family if she doesn't want to eat.

Whinges about being asked to help out with small jobs, being asked to choose a healthy snack rather than junk food, whines if the neighbour kids aren't available to play,

Is constantly pessimistic, saying "I can't........"whenever I ask her to do something, focussed on every tiny scratch and bite she gets (live on subtropical Australia so that sort of thing is a minor everyday occurrence as lots of outside play available) etc etc

Still complains about sleeping in own bed....

I feel depressed and I do try so hard. I'm not sure what else I can do to be a better parent.

Just hoping to hear some words of wisdom or encouragement.

Do you have any other younger children? Sometimes children fall into the habit of whining because it's an easy wa of getting all of mummy's attention

You could try incentivising her with a sticker reward system when she does something for herself then when she gets so many stickers she can choose a day out of her choice. If she's disinterested at mealtimes perhaps you could involve her with the preparation of meals - it can be fun to make things like pancakes, homemade pizzas etc. Maybe you could try one day where neither of you is allowed to say the word "no". The idea is to create a positive vibe and attitude for her to feed off and to motivate her.

She may just need a little more stimulation and freedoms - sounds like she's a bright child, she just needs to focus it in a positive way. You're doing a great job so don't beat yourself up - it's the hardest job in the world being a parent and you can't always make them blissfully happy but you can be a positive example. Good luck xx

She sounds quite in to herself.
What is she like at school?

Thank you for the replies.

Yummy, I also have a five month old, although I think the whining predates the baby. I like the idea of involving her more in cooking, will work on that.....

Orange, at school she is the model child as far as I can tell, quiet and cheerful and always trying to follow directions and "the rules".

She may be saving the worst of er behaviour for at home. She may be afraid to be her real self at school?

Or she may be flopping out at home just like one of mine used to do. still will given half a chance

In a way it is good . She feels comfortable at home to do it. A pain for you and me and others when they do though.

What U dud do once, was record him with his knowledge. He could hear how he sounded and relaised that he was coming across more negative than he intended. And he relaised what a pain it was for his parents[he is older than your child though]

I did, not U dud!

Thank you, I like the idea of seeing a sort of positive side to the behaviour. And I will keep the recording idea in mind too.