New baby doesn't like me?

[MummyLuce]

Just wondered..my newborn (7 weeks) doesn't like being held or cuddled! If she's crying and it's not hunger/nappy/wind etc, she just wants to be propped upright on the sofa. Even if I sit up straight with her sitting upright on my lap she gets fussy. My dd1 used to love it being held, we would sit for ages cuddling. I feel like my newest baby doesn't really like me particularly. She has barely even smiled at me! Am I just bring silly?

This is pretty common I think. Of course it doesn't mean she doesn't like you, she's probably just an independent sort of personality. Think of it as her being so secure you are there that she doesn't need to be held! Maybe she likes being able to see what her sister is up to?

Mine was never a "lap" baby either - she would tolerate being held but really preferred being down on the mat kicking.

My son was exactly the same, he hated being held but loved to sit/lie near us looking at us and listening to us sing or talk to him. He now does like being held, he slowly just came around to it. I just told myself that it was his needs I was meeting so no cuddles unless he was happy to have them!! Now we have cuddles every day!

I understand that this must be upsetting for you, but on the bright side at least you can get things done without being wailed at for cuddles :p

Try not to take it personally - at 7 weeks she's not sophisticated enough to like or dislike people, she can't think beyond her own needs and I'm sure she will smile soon, a first smile any time in the first twelve weeks is perfectly normal. As you're discovering, each baby is very different. You get high needs babies that can't be put down then you get other babies who feel constrained when they're held. Just go with her needs and you'll have a happy baby and enjoy the freedom it gives you at the moment. It's not a reflection of your bond with her at all, it's just her way and she may change and get more cuddly or she may always like her own space. Either way, her mummy is still very important to her. You're there and that's all she needs to know xx

My DD did this, I remember the first time she fell asleep on my lap without being BF (even then she'd wake up when she finished properly)she was 2 and a half and ill with suspected meningitis.
Right from the word go she needed to be alone to sleep and was perfectly happy being propped up. Even when I was carrying her she had to face outwards, none off this propped up on my shoulder, she'd just head but me and squeal until I turned her round. Think she was just a bit nosy like her Mother
She's now all grown up and frequently hugs me.

Sounds like my dd, even now at 15 months she hates cuddles and the only chance I get in carrying her around in my ergo sling as she cannot escape, I'm sure she loves me and her daddy she's just very strong willed and independant.
Bless them

I had several snotty cries on my DH about how my (PFB) DD (16weeks) didn't like me/liked him better, as she was not a 'cuddly' baby. She's more cuddly now, but still likes her independence. It will come! Or you'll get something else where your bond will be apparent to you, she totally does love and need you, she's biologically programmed to. Also, 7 weeks is early for much in the way of smiling. Hang in there!

New babies don't like anyone. They are a bundle of needs. They don't have emotions like older children an adults do.

Take comfort in the fact that she doesn't dislike you either.

However.

Not to be alarmist ... Do monitor this dislike of being held/lack of smiling etc, and mention it to the health visitor if it continues.