I was a single parent for a long time. Dd's father has never wanted to know her, Ds's father has done the bare minimum over the years (we mutually split when Ds was a toddler). I am the one who has done everything for Ds, caring for him, sorting out his education, doctors appointments etc...you know, the boring responsible stuff. His father has rarely taken an interest and rarely paid anything towards keeping him. His father has always been completely unreasonable and point blank refused to discuss ds, will normally start screaming down the phone at me. He has at times refused to give me his address (he moves a lot), I don't know why, I've never caused him any trouble I just wanted to know where my son would be on weekends!
So last year after a long time on my own I met someone. To cut a long story short, we suffered some problems. I was being harrassed, I was very stressed, this caused arguments with my partner and affected my health physically and mentally. I was put on medication which didn't suit me and made me worse. My son went to his dad's one weekend and told me he was staying there. I was brokenhearted. My health is sorted out now, my medication is changed and my partner and I have sorted our issues out. I want to prove this to my son as I want him back but every time I make arrangements to see him his father seems to throw a spanner in the works so he has to go early or can't come at all. Ds won't stand up to his dad despite the fact I know he isn't happy there. His dad put a claim in for tax credits and child benefit before I even knew Ds was staying there and he doesn't spend a penny of it on Ds. He won't buy Ds clothes or toiletries, he doesn't give him pocket money, he is unwilling to pay for Ds's hobbies. Ds has confided in my mum that his dad is picking on him. He demanded Ds's birth certificate from my mum (she was holding onto it to open him a bank account). I called asking why he wanted it and he refused to tell me.
Basically Ds isn't being treated well. He's fed, he's clean but that's about it. His father has no regard for his education or his feelings. His father wants the money, that's it. I feel so helpless. I adore my children, I want him to come home but if he won't, I at least want to know what's going on with him.