Going Insane

[Poshers]

Please can someone give me some advice. I am at the end off my tether & really don't know what to do. My 5.5 Month DS screams all day unless I carry him. I end up going out all day in either the car or buggie, train or bus as my back won't take much more (he has been like this from day 1)

He will not play for any period of time on his own, I have tried play mat, Jumperoo, Lamaze Toys, home made toys from plastic bottles with rice/pasta, we go to baby groups & baby sensory ... which only works if I hold him the whole time. He loves swimming as I am in the water holding him the whole time.

Today I nearly lost my mind as I needed to put some washing on, I put him down safely on the play mat and he screamed until I picked him up again.

Am I going to have this forever??? My back can't take much more :(((

He feeds well (still only milk) we start weaning next week & I don't know how the fuck I am going to prepare food & put him in a high chair as how will I put him down for 5mins?? He also cries if I stop the car engine, or stop pushing him in the buggy.

He does sleep ok (ish) at night, he doesn't nap well in the day, I have tried everything but won't go for longer than 30mins at a time other than morning nap which is 1hr which is a fucking holiday to me!!

I am so exhausted by 6:30pm I can't wait for us to both go to bed (he dream feeds at 10) I then can't sleep as I dread the screaming that's coming the next day.

He has been like this from Day 1 so is it teething (from birth?!?) Tummy Ache? Growth spurt? Hunger? HATES ME?

Help :((

Ps .. I'm a lone parent so no break

Have you tried a sling, a good one. Something like a wrap or Tula, Ergo or the like. You could carry him and do jobs at the same time will save your back. Cooking can be done with them on your back.

DD was like this when little don't worry she did grow out of it. can't remember when but don't think I could have survived without my sling.

Oh bless my DD3 was like this and I called a friend as I said she cries all day which apparently is normal (my first 2 did not do this so I thought something wrong) it is hard but yes a sling good idea. Will grow out of it when on the move good luck x

I used to just leave ds to cry because there was no other choice it was stressful but had to be done. He wasn't happy as a baby but he is a lovely good natured toddler who is very independent but still loves to cuddle up. It does get better x

Defiantly get a sling !! You can get cheap 2nd hand ones on eBay.

My DS did this too.

I had slings which were a lifesaver. It will pass. It got soooo much better once he could crawl (6.5m for us) and again when he could walk (1y). Mostly it's thefrustration of not being able o do things/see things/findyour when he wants to.

I suspect once he has a taste for food the highchair may be easy.

My DD is also clingy and now at 12m she can't walk and still want lots of carrying when tired but will happily play independently for a while too.

DS is almost 4 and still loves cuddles but is happy, outgoing and confident.

It's not a reflection of a needy personality, he's just desperate to grow up!

Some babies hate being babies and when they are more able just so much happier.
I think its worth a trip to gp though just to rule out a few things like silent reflux (babies with this usually happier held as they can be more upright) and possible dairy intolerance? ds had both of these, the dairy thing ran in hes df family and apparently hes df was a bloody miserable baby before it was diagnosed then a completely different bub when he was on the soya formula.
Excellent idea from MigGril I never would of thought of cooking with baby on my bk.

Thanks all so much :) it's just nice to know he's not weird & I'm not rubbish! You know when people give you "THE LOOK" (bastards!!)

Ok so baby carrier purchased!

You all rock xx

My ds was exactly the same. It will pass, i promise! Sometimes i had to just leave him screaming just so i could put a wash on or something. Its especially exhausting for you cos you're on your own. I feel for you, really do. In my ds's case it got much better once he was mobile. He hated crawling, grizzled & cried as he crawled around but thankfully started walking very early & he's been great ever since. V happy toddler & easy, thoughtful child. He's nearly 13 now, i've never forgotten those difficult early months but it doesn't last forever.

It's easier said than done but try to relax - there is light at the end of this tunnel and it's probably not as far away as you might think.

My dd was like that: she'd scream the house down in frustration because she wanted to be where I was or go and play with ds and his toys. Meal times were fine, mostly, because she enjoyed food much more than milk.

With every milestone she hit and every inch towards greater independence (being able to sit unaided, crawl around and then walk, and now beginning to talk) she slowly became the smiley, happy little girl she is now. Earlier today she was having roaring competitions with me and would run off laughing hysterically. She's 19 months now.

It was horrendous just before learning each of these things and then suddenly she'd be happy, more relaxed and smiley afterwards; I think it was to do with those developmental leaps as described in the Wonder Weeks.

I'd recommend two slings! With a baby like that you need one to wear and one in the wash. Or borrow a few from your local sling library.

But in the end, they do grow out of it. Dd1 went off to preschool at 2.5 without a single tear, after being a Velcro baby and toddler. Still needs lots of cuddles, but the bottomless pit of need stage does end. And I honestly think my efforts to encourage her to play by herself on the playmat etc actually made things worse. She needed to be the one letting go, if I tried to force it she just clung more.

i had a baby like that and he turned out to be intolerant to milk and eggs which is why he was so bloody unhappy!

is he breast or formula fed?

Agree with the others. DS was in his moby wrap sling almost all day. He was incredibly happy in there and I had two free hands and a non aching back. He did have reflux and lactose intolerance which exacerbated things but he improved immensely after he could eat, walk and talk.

His older sister was a very easy baby, he came as a huge shock!

Thank you all for such great advice :)

Thank you all for such great advice :)

My middle child was like this until he crawled at 6.5 months

After that he was happy as larry

Thank god he wasn't a late crawler

My DD is still like this at 13 months BUT since she negotiated going up and down the stairs she will play for 10-15 minutes in her brothers room (with the hot wheels she's not supposed to touch :o) but still clings on to me 90% of the time but is getting a couple of inches further away at baby groups now which is a god send so it will happen!

Having a high needs baby is bloody exhausting and makes you doubt yourself when you see all these happy babies wandering around or lying cooing on a playmat, I've been/am there right beside you, just do what makes life easier for you and pick your battles.

I got asking from our sling library when she was 9 weeks old and it was amazing to help me get things done, I bought one (Connects) shortly afterwards and still chuck her on my back from time to time to get things done so defonately worth a shot.

Just remember you're not the only one going through this and that one day they will just decide they've had enough of you and go off on their own and you will miss this (hard to believe I know!) so make the most of it and do whatever it takes to keep you both happy.

Sling! Please look up your local sling library / sling meet and get along there asap. Slings are life changing with babies like this.
As hard as it is, remember, not all crying means distress or need. Babies communicate by
crying even when fed / changed / rested etc.
It will get better I promise.
Try seeing if white noise soothes him at all too? You can get CDs, apps, YouTube clips and downloads of it. Helped soothe mine when he was
little.

Beco sling. amazing thing and will last till todddler age

It will get easier - once they can sit up its better!

Also - I do think it's worth pottering near them while they shout for you - just for a few minutes at a time, stay calm (even if inside you are not!) and talk to them happily, let them see it's not a catastrophe not to be picked up at once etc.

but tbh it will get easier in the next couple of monhts.......and then once they are mobile they will be heading in the opposite direction to yoU!

How are you getting on Poshers?

Thanks for asking! Yes ok .... Sling is ace as can get on and do shit, he still cries near enough non stop if he is not carried or in sling but I'm slowly just accepting it