Please tell me how to cope/what to do

[juliec261]

I have 3 dc.. Dd 8, ds1 3 and ds 4 weeks .. I'm struggling with bedtime.. My 4 week old screams on and off all evening and I can't seem to be able to put my ds 3 to bed as he wants his usual stories and cuddles .. I have tried putting baby in car seat / pram etc asking dd to push him around in pram so I can get ds to bed, but baby gets so distressed I have to hold him .. I think he suffers with wind and have seen a cranial osteopath who says he just suffering a bit of birth shock .. He has Infacol and had 5oz at 6.30 and hasn't settled yet ... I feel like I'm failing ...my Dh is often not home from work until 8 and last night and tonight is having to work late .. I'm shattered .. Currently have ds and dd running around while baby lies on me .. I just need some advice on how you do it as clearly I can't :(

Have you tried putting him in a sling?

Yes tried that. .. But not tonight so might give it another go ... Think I will order a material sling as have a baby bjorn but hurts my back for some reason

Have you tried one of those vibrating bouncer things? My friend's baby really responds to that...

Do you have a sling library near you? Look on facebook. Then hire a decent sling. My ergo was a lifesaver at bedtimes with my 3 year old.

Yes sling library down the road so think I will go and have a look .. Have a vibrating bouncy chair works for a bit then he's screaming again.. Ds1 is finally asleep and baby is in car seat being rocked with black out blind and Hoover music playing lol .. I know this will pass, but I'm just can't seem to get any routine .. Thanks x

I have dd1 aged 22 months and dd2 aged 6 weeks. Similar issues with failing to do a calm bed time routine with dd1 due to dd2 screaming. DP works till 9 most eves too. So I feed dd2 when dd1 watches in the night garden after dinner. This means she isn't hungry during toddlers bed time. I then do bath time with dd2 in bouncy chair, then move into bedroom. Just have to let her cry during changing dd1 into pjs and teeth cleaning, whilst chatting to dd1 in a jolly way saying things like "oh dear your baby sister is being a bit shouty" to stop dd1 getting distressed by it.if it gets too awful then stick baby on the boob while dd1 looks at a book and resume routine after a couple of mins. Bed time story is done whilst breastfeeding baby. Then say night night to toddler, wave grumpy baby's hand at her("baby is saying goodnight") then leave the room. Done! If you ff, could replace boob for dummy maybe?

Good idea ML ... I need to do feel a bit more in control .. Problem I have is ds1 wants me to lay with him till he's asleep which takes 10-20 mins .. My fault as I knew I would struggle with this when pregnant but felt too rotten to get ds1 to fall asleep by himself .. But taking bouncy chair around with me is good idea .. I have started bathing ds1 in morning to allow me more time in evening . Feel for my dd as she has to amuse herself although I do get her involved as much as I can with baby stuff .. Ds2 is asleep now now for dd :)

Omg, our situations are so similar. Up until 2weeks ago, toddler needed me to lie with her for up to 45 minutes until she went to sleep!!!i didn't sort it whilst pregnant as felt too gross and quite enjoyed having a 45 min lie down with toddler!anyway, on the lsat day of my DPs paternity leave we went cold turkey on her, and she responded well (one night of hysterical crying then that was it, she went to sleep alone). Try and get your ds1 to get to sleep alone this weekend when your DH is around and your bed time routine will be soooo much easier I think xx

Wow that was quick .. I know we need to do it but I was preparing for at least a week of hell .. Will give it a go tomorrow night .. Like you I enjoyed laying there with him and getting a lie down, but the other issue is he comes in our bed about 3 am so need to sort that also ?? x

Thanks also from me MummyLuce- useful tips!