Advice on birthday present for child we don't know

[FeralGirlCambs]

DD (nearly 3) has been invited to a joint birthday party of a friend and another girl we've never met. Do I have to buy the same value of present for both little girls? The one we know we have exchanged birthday gifts with at age 1 and 2 so it is 'traditional', otherwise being a bit of a 'less stuff needed in the world', I'd be tempted to bring nothing or a token tiny thing. Advice appreciated...

I wouldn't buy a present for the child you have never met. It may be a joint party but they will both have friends who will bring presents presumably.

Agree with Sparklingbrook.

Thank you. I just don't want to be a meanie but that is what my gut instinct is. Can I probe the birthday etiquette a bit more while I'm at it? DD will be 3 next month and started preschool in Jan. I wouldn't say she yet has specific friends there but a few of the children are much nearer her age (the ages range from 2.9 to 4) and I wondered if it would be acceptable just invite those children for tea after school / preschool on the actual birthday (a Wednesday), plus their siblings to make matters easier for the parents. Not planning anything spectacular - cake, play in the garden, a sneaky Prosecco for the Mums. Or could I limit it to children of the Mums I've actually spoken to (again only a few, though not exactly the same few) the only child DD seems positively to seek out is one whose Mum I chat to quite a bit, and identical in age, so she'd fall into both categories. There are about 20 on the preschool roll and a) I can't face having them all here, plus having to attend 19 parties in return in a tit for tat party culture; and more importantly, b) I think somewhat shy DD would be overwhelmed by such a big 'do'. And is it ok just to have tea, jelly, a ball to kick around, without 'party bags' etc etc? Excuse a long post. 1 and 2 were easy - I just invited my friends and neighbours with babies / toddlers.

I work in a school and parents either invite everyone or a handful of children. Both ideas are lovely. It is when a parent will invite all the children except x and y that I makes me feel sad!!

P.S the mums you have made friends with sounds like a great idea!

As it's a joint party I would get the other child a token present, a cheap book or something.

I'd give the other little girl a sticker book.

we went to a joint party and I didn't take anything for the other child - I didn't actually know it was a joint party but even if I had I wouldn't.

DD's 4th party was 4 little girls from her nursery class, plus her cousin and a couple of non-nursery chums. DD isn't all that keen on big parties, especially very unstructured ones where there's just an unsupervised bouncy castle and that's it. Small parties with a few games/activities work best, imo.

I would get the other child a token present - a sheet of stickers, or bubble mix or a bouncy ball or something like that.

My DD had a joint party and none of the children she didn't know gave her anything, nor would I have expected them to! As far as I know, none of our side gave the other girl anything either. I would be mortified if I'd thought someone I didn't know felt they had to get my child something! The only one I have been to where I didn't know one child, I just took a card for the other, but I don't think I even needed to do that.

Thanks very much all. Two fairy sticker books (it's a fairy party) and a book token slipped inside the one for the girl we know.