Would you like your Dp saying, 'Out the way woman' to 12yo dd even if it is in jokey nature?

[Puzzled128]

Just felt like asking others opinions really.......................

Depends who it was. If it was a family member then he may, it would be acceptable banter in out family.

It's just rude.

I wouldn't have a problem as long as dp treats dd in a respectful manner in general and it is clearly a jokey thing. My dh says this to me, but it is purely a joke and he is very respectful in all other areas.

It would depend.

On context, how jokey, whether it was in complete contrast with his actual and lived manners / treatment of women and girls / whether he was fully aware and referenced that it is rude and sexist, whether it was genuinely jokey, or whether it was passive aggressive.....

Hard to say.

Well, my dd once said to me "out of my way, old woman, your time has passed"

[unhelpful emoticon]

It's the sort of comment my dad and I have made towards each other since I was about 10 so it depends on the context. For us it's a friendly game and goes along with some rather inappropriate nick names we have for each other. For df and I they are jokey and silly but I am sure most other people who be highly offended and disgusted!

We need more info from you please

Seems ok to me...

Of course it depends on the context buy I can see this being said entirely as a joke with no problem at all.

It is always in banter tbh. Although recent lack of respect issues from dp towards me have made me take a look at the family as a whole. I just wanted to check all is well in our house hold. Good to see a nice varied opinion.

If it's in banter then I wouldn't worry unless your dd has an issue with it. How does she respond to it?

As for the lacking respect to you, that needs dealing with and stopping.

Yes she is happy go lucky, has fun with dp. Would not normally question it at all. Just a little mind blown/confused at the moment after a depressing weekend. Have had respect issues with dp myself, no appreciation, compasion, putting me down ect. Making me take a good, hard, long, look at everything

If it's as part of a generally jokey loving way of talking, it's fine. If not, not.

I am always soooooo suspicious of "banter". So often a justification for unkindness and bullying. There was a girl in my dd's year who used to say horrible things to dd, then when she objected, say "oh, take a joke, msmartorana- take a joke" and everyone else would laugh. Nowadays she'd say "oh, get on the banter bus!". Same bullying, different language.

It would make me smile as long as it was jokey

"recent lack of respect issues from dp towards me "

Well, that is clearly NOT ok.

DH & 12yo DD banter Shaddups at each other all the time. Same sense of humour. They think it's hilarious.