Feeling guilty about first night away

[pudding77]

Next weekend we have some friends coming from Oz to stay with us, they want to go out the first night so we're going to take our 7 month old ds to his grandparents to stay the night. It's the first time he'll have been away from us and I'm feeling incredibly guilty about the whole thing!! Plus he won't be back until early evening the following day. He's an extremely good baby, sleeps really well and his grandparents are professional grandparents as well as trained nurses so I know he will be fine but is 7 months too young to be away from home for a night and a day?

Am I being a bad mother or just really pathetic for feeling guilty?

Certainly not pathetic, we all go through this, but it is really important for you and your partner to have some time together just as a couple. Enjoy it!!!

No, you're just reacting normally to your first night away from your DS. I remember at about the same age, we did the same with our DS when friends had a party for leaving the UK. Although I missed him, it was great to have that brief freedom back! I agree with Jazzi, it will be lovely for you and your friends to have a night out, and even more lovely to have a lie in in the morning!! It will also be great for DS's grandparents to have him, they will love it. He will be fine.

PS. we also went on holiday to the US when DS was 11 months for a week - he was totally fine then too, and now at 2.3, loves going "on holiday" to Grandma and Grandad's house!

pudding, go out and have a lovely time! I hope it's a brilliant night.

And do NOT feel guilty. Really. I know it's hard but your baby will be fine - no reason to feel guilty!

I've just read Libby Purves' book 'How not to be a perfect mother' and theres a bit in there that really made me think; she says how easy it is to never have 'me' time or to become totally 100% about the baby. She's basically saying this becomes a habit and it's so true. There's absolutely no reason your baby shouldn't be cared for by loving grandparents for a night while you have some valuable time off, and I think it's worth doing if nothing else to STOP you getting into a groove where your life is nothing else. You also have the right to some adult time.

Don't worry about it, enjoy it!

Thanks for the reassurance. Intellectually I know he will be fine and will enjoy himself, but emotionally...! I think once we've done it I'll be able to relax more for the next time!

I know the first time is hard but you just have to MAKE yourself do it. You will have a great time and so will he!

DD has spent many nights with both sets of grandparents since she started to sleep through from 4 months. I was nervous to start with but as she is easy and sleeps well, it has never been a problem, and the grandparents love it. We have just been to Italy for two weeks and left DD (now 17 months) with my parents and she was totally happy. Sure it's because she has been regularly left before. If you start now it should be no problem to leave him when he gets older.

I don't think you've got anything to worry about from the sounds of it- go! I have had the dilemma of going to see a band in London (Maybe my only chance and i love them) and leaving my son for the night with his aunt. Can't do it though- he'll only be just over 3mths, i'd be sick with worry!

Ours was the same age when we had his grandparents come over to look after him and we went to a friend's wedding (night away).
As a mother it's natural to worry.. but don't feel guilty!
Our son is now 3, very happy and confident and I am positive part of the reason is that we have never worried about letting trusted family/friends have him, whilst his Daddy and I go out for an evening or even a few nights away.
We decided when he came along, though our life would change, he would not stop us from doing the things we like to do. We know friends that in 4 years have never gone out and had a babysitter since they had children. Why? They feel guilty.
Enjoy your time.. see it as a moment to recharge your batteries! The fact you have great grandparents to help you out is a real bonus, the same reason we use our parents when the opportunity arise!

Thanks for the reassurance, he's been fine and having a great time! Luckily he was having a nap when we left so there wasn't a big deal of us leaving him. Though I did have a little cry on the way home !

We had a great night catching up with our friends though & I'm partly glad ds isn't back until this evening so my hangover has time to go!