Haunted by neighbour boy help!

[GerbilsAteMyCat]

I have 2ds and we live on a peaceful suburban street (lucky us!). The is a small boy nearly 8 who lives up the road. He's a nice kid and his parents are good folks. He is the youngest of three children with the other 2 much older.
Only thing is, he is always here. Always. Over the Easter break he was here at least 2-3 hours a day. Once I minded him 6 hours straight. It is not at all reciprocal as once I sent DS1 up to play at the boy's house and they returned 5 minutes later, kicked out by the older siblings (early 20s).
One day I told him the boys were not available to play because my mil had just flown 10 hours to see us and he hung outside the house anyhow. I told him to go home again and found him crying, so brought him in.
I feel sorry for the kid, but I am so tired of minding this other child. I work full time and hardly see the kids during the week and my weekends are spent with this kids.
He has been here twice today. We told him to go but he agrees and then still stays outside the house.
I can't offend his parents.

Why can't you offend his parents? They are effectively neglecting their child, and do they even know where he is?

I would just go round and speak to them and say whilst he is a lovely boy, it is not acceptable for him to come round without them (as his parents) arranging it first. I would also stop allowing your son round without prior agreement from them that includes a start and end time.

That way you can insist on the same rules being applied if he wants to come round to play.

I would be really concerned about this little boy and his parents attitude to him. They need pulling up on it.

I think that would get on my nerves too - especially if you have other plans (e.g. when mil was over).

Do his parents ask you to mind him? I'm guessing not but wanted to check.

One thing that strikes me from your post is the mention of two older brothers. Do the boy's parents think they are looking after him when actually they are just making him go out to play?

You could take him home yourself to the brothers and say 'x has been playing at ours but I'm afraid we are going out/having lunch/have a visitor so I just wanted to make sure someone was in for him'.

Or do similar but when you know his parents are there 'x has played at ours today - he did try to come home for lunch but came back after 5 mins so I assumed no one was in. Just wanted to make sure you were back now'

Tbh I wouldn't worry about offending the parents too much - at best they aren't aware of what's going on but equally could be being cheeky and using you as their free childcare.

The parents offer us a right of way through their garden which cuts 10 minutes off my drop off time in the morning. I do give them a good present at xmas and am grateful. I don't mind looking after the boy occasionally but this is too much.

We get this with next doors kid but as dd is an only I don't really mind. It can be annoying sometimes, I'm very firm when it's time to go and if she won't go then I lesson the play time next time so the girls know I mean business when I say it's go time.

I think you do need to speak to the parents, because as PumpkinPie says, they may not be aware that he isn't being looked after if his older siblings are supposed to be minding him.

When he stayed for 6 hours, where did his parents think he was? How did they think he was going to be fed, and where were they?!

The extra 10 minutes in the morning is a nice thing, but it's not worth all the hassle you're getting, plus the concern for this boy's welfare.

You have to say something to his parents, nothing will change otherwise.

Hi folks,
Thanks so much for the responses. Glad I am not being unreasonable.
I think you hit the nail on the head pumpkin pie, he plays out when his older brothers are meant to be minding him. His dad comes to fetch him and often we send him home escorted by DS1 (we can watch them from our house window).
The parents have never asked us to mind him. He just started appearing and my ds was glad to have a boy of a similar age to play with, but it means my younger boy is left out as neighbour borrows his stuff while he plays here.

I have no idea what his family thought he was doing here when he was here for 6 hours. Only once has he gone back home to find no one was there and the dad materialised 20 minutes later.