Whining and 'no' to everything... terrible 2's/3's

[DomesticGoddess31]

How do you handle it? My DD will be 3 in June and for a while now everything is a battle with her...particularly tooth brushing and getting dressed. It makes the start of every day so flipping stressful. I give her choices eg "would you like to wear this outfit or that one" but nothing works. She still ends up having a horrible whiny crying tantrum while refusing to comply. I can't stand the noise anymore! Help!

No advice - same here. It's really bloody testing isn't it!

My three year old is similar. I find myself saying, "Will you just stop whining," more and more often.

One thing I say that gets results is "When you have [got dressed/put toys away/whatever] then you/we can [watch tv/go to the park/whatever]."
I also offer a range of stickers for when he's done what I've asked.
If he doesn't do as I've asked, I start counting and tell him what I'll do when I get to 5 [go without him (I have actually left the house without him in the past and left him with his dad because he wouldn't get his shoes on) / take the toys away/whatever I can think of that is instant but won't punish me and/or dd]. It generally works

Mine just argues back and says I don't want to go the park then. Reverse psychology is useless too!
Also I keep getting "no want you, want daddy you go away" when I'm trying to tick him off or get him to do something, which is so hurtful and had me crying in the car the other day. I keep saying "mummy loves you" whilst holding back tears. Pathetic I know!

The "when you've done X, then we can do Y" approach doesn't work with DD aged 2.5, particularly when she's already said no.

What does work is games/races/jokes. "Oh no, DD1 is going to be finished first", "I bet I can put my blocks away faster than you can". DH has just wandered around the living room with a pair of her pyjama bottoms on her head, leading her to shout "no no, they go on my legs" instead of objecting.

It's hard going, I'm not a naturally jovial person, so "making everything fun" can be bloody hard work. But it's better than whining and screaming.

However, it doesn't appear to have any application to the "go on, I dare you" behaviour (me: DD2, don't climb up on your chair. DD2, two seconds later: look Mummy - as she attempts to balance on the back of the chair). If I go completely grey in the next year it will all be thanks to my little daredevil!

I do all those things you've suggested but to limited success. Ah well at least I know its normal and I'm not alone. Just finding it tough to maintain that unending patience required when I'm not getting much sleep with my 4 week old. Oh the joys!

Come and sit on the bench with me domesticgoddess. 2.5 year old and 8 week old newborn. Both with colds. Have had about 15 minutes sleep or so it feels.

Newborn back in bed but of course I'm sat downstairs with DD who is refusing to eat the breakfast she asked for. I'm refusing to make her anything else and so another day begins......!

It is very trying at times isn't it? And yet, they can be so lovely when they want to be.

Eating is the biggest challenge with DD. The grizzling 'don't like it' drives me potty.