my son injured his daughter when playing rough...what to say to my son

[united4ever]

My wife is on her way back from A&E now and it seems like he was pulling my daughters arm and dislocated her shoulder. Don't know yet how much he understands or how apologetic he will be but wondering what to,say to him? Something along the lines of: if you are rough with your sister she will get hurt easily and its your job to look after your little sister? Any advice here?

daughter has just turned 2 son is nearly 5.

I would wait and see if he says anything and how he feels. He probably feels really bad already so heaping on the guilt won't be necessary. If it was just playing rough and not malicious at all I think you should be careful about making a big deal of it.

Sorry, title should be my son hurt his SISTER

And it's not his job to look after his sister, that's your wife and your job.

"if you are rough with your sister she will get hurt easily and its your job to look after your little sister?"

I would reiterate the "if you are rough..one of you will get hurt"

but I do not agree with "it is your job to look after your sister." It is NOT his job at all.

Sorry to hear what's happened but I'd be v gentle with him. At five he can't understand how easy it is to dislocate a toddler's shoulder: lots of adults don't know. Also, it's not his job to look after his little sister, it's the parents' job.

Better to tell him what to do, rather than what not to do, eg 'be gentle' is easier to understand than 'don't be rough'.

Hope they're both okay - how are you? It is horrible when they get hurt.

DS1 broke DS2's arm when they were both doing something stupid they have both been told 100000000x not to. I was probably yelling at them to stop at the time. So, he knew it was wrong but it was stupidity rather than malice.

However he felt guilty and fetched everything Ds2 wanted for about a week. It's still brought up in arguments "you need to give me that biscuit - you broke my arm"