Stressed! Childcare back-up (with no family near by)?

[CityDweller]

Since I went back to work (when DD was 8 mo, she's now 1), I have lost countless workdays due to her being unable to go to the cm (usually due to cm being unavailable due to her own kids being unwell or off school, or whatever, and a few times because DD was unwell). We've also switched cms during that time, so had to take time off work while settling in with new cm. DH and I share the load when we have to cover childcare, but our work is beginning to suffer in a major way (mine more than his, due to the nature of what I do). It's stressing me out hugely and means I'm not enjoying the time I do spend with DD as I'm anxious about when I'm going to get my work done (I don't have a job where someone can 'cover' for me - the work just mounts up while I'm not doing it). We have no family near by.

Does anyone else have these problems? What do you do? Ideally I'd be able to find some sort of adhoc back-up childcare who could come round and occupy DD on days she's unable to go to cm, but I'm not sure such a thing exists as babysitters are usually only available in the evenings, right? And it's been challenging enough as it is settling DD with the cm (x2), so I don't know how realistic it is to expect her to play happily with a series of random strangers.

I expect there's no solution to this and it's a case of this is what life with small children is like and I probably just need to vent. It's just getting me down and making me think there's no way I could have another child!

Have you considered using two childminders, split over the week, who could then cover for one another if necessary? Or perhaps nursery? You'll still have to cover illness but at least they open almost every day.

I believe there are agencies who supply emergency nannies for this type of thing...in fact a set number of hours per year is part of my work benefits package...

Sorry, can't be more specific as I only just got my DD but I am sure google will help

Sounds like you've had a really bad run of it as I've also had 2 Cms since July and only had to have one emergency day since then. The rest were arranged holidays.

I'd say a nursery is a good bet but unless you drop around 9, you will always have the chance of having to leave her with people she's not sure about.

How about a nanny or nanny share?

If it was me I'd move your DD to a nursery then you'd only have to take time off when your DD was ill, not when the CM was ill/unavailable. Much more reliable in that sense.

No spaces in any of the nurseries we can afford near us. And we can't afford a nanny either. Thought about nanny share, but I've heard stories of similar lack of reliability due to nannies leaving on short notice or just not showing up!

Long-term we're thinking about moving nearer to family and DH being a SAHD if we have another child, but neither of these things will happen anytime soon so won't solve immediate problem that we seem to be cursed with unreliable cms!

I'll look into emergency nannies. Are they eye-wateringly expensive?

Hi,

Well I just got an email from work with the link to our service...so...

They have emergency everything..nursery aces, childminders, nannies, school holiday stuff, the works.

However it looks likes a service provided to my company, that is as an employee can join, rather than a service anyone can join. That said I'm sure there will be similar available to the general public...

Childminders are about £7 per hour. Nannies more like £20

Hope that helps

It might be worth leaving a note at local playgroups etc. saying that you're looking for a babysitter who's available occasionally during the day. A former nanny left a leaflet like this a local playgroups saying she was available for evening and occasional daytime babysitting. I also found a trainee paedeatric nurse who was available for daytime babysitting as she worked shifts and sometimes had free weekdays. One of the students who babysits for me occasionally also does daytime 'babysitting' during her holidays. So there are people out there who can do daytime babysitting, it's just a case of trying to build up a list of people who might be available during the day that you can contact.

I have to admit that we chose nursery over childminder because we wanted reliability, so it might be worth putting your name on the waiting list of the nurseries you can afford.

We have a back up childminder.

If there's a problem with our main one, I can call her. The good thing is that she knows a lot of other cm, so if she cannot cover in an emergency, she knows someone who can.

Put down on all nursery waiting lists. Nursery is great as totally reliable.

Yup, we're on the waiting lists for nurseries we can afford that we'd be happy for her to go to. We're hoping to get a place for Sept and do a combo of nursery/ cm then.

Back-up cm unlikely, as they're scarce and sought-after around here. I'll look into daytime babysitters though. Either DH or I can usually work from home on days we're let down by cm, so it's really just a case of someone who'll come round for part of the day to play with her or take her to the park so that we can actually get work done.

Where are you? In London there is www.mybigbuddy.com who i use.

A male only nanny agency ... ...a 'manny'.

Surley not!

I wish I knew! I remember being in tears 6 months after returning to work as dd was off nursery so often due to catching one thing then another and dh has trouble taking days off (teaches so involves letting many people down). Moving near family if they are actually doing to help would be something I'd work to, paid childcare is so expensive, not as good as having someone that cares and you always have gaps for one reason or another. Something I didn't appreciate before having dc!

I would get a nanny share. Our nanny has had 1 day off sick in 4 years. More importantly when my DC are ill she still looks after them and they are ill more often that she is. Find a nanny with decent references. If they're unreliable get a new one. But I suspect this would be better for you.