Lousy day ... moan moan grumble grumble

[roisin]

DS1 woke up this morning to discover the tooth fairy had forgotten to call, and clearly lay in bed for half an hour seething about it and determined to be obnoxious all day.

DS2 is being very defiant and uncooperative atm, at school too, and is basically just not behaving like a child who's nearly 5.

Sometimes I just feel like I've read all the advice and different parenting techniques, give plenty of advice myself at times, and STILL I have days where they are just unpleasant to be with all day long I just wish they would grow up.

It didn't help that I thought I was supposed to be being spoiled today (dh is working tomorrow, and we're very busy on Wednesday, which is my birthday) ... obviously that was a misapprehension on my part! DS2 has swimming lessons at 8.30 am on Sundays, and I just KNOW I'll be the only mum there.

Not having had a lousy day because the kids were away, but I could still use some encouragement; is motherhood ever enjoyable, I ask you?!

It has flashes of joy which (for that split second) make it all worth while.

I enjoyed cuddling the kids in bed this morning... then again, that's because I knew they were about to disappear for 2.5 days.

Hmmm, dh has had to fly to continental Europe to see his (very poorly) grandad so I'll be alone tomorrow too, know how you're feeling. Due to dh's job I spend most public holidays and many weekends alone with the children so I know all too well that feeling of looking around and thinking that everyone else is in a couple. Am not looking forward to tomorrow at all. Doesn't help that ds (6 months) is still waking every two hours, or every hour as it was last night and they I run round after a 2 year old dd all day too!

I know that I should feel very lucky to have dd, ds, dh but, to me, tomorrow feels like a hurdle.

Roisin, hope you have a good day tomorrow. x

How about scrubbing the 8.30 lesson tomorrow - just this once? and do whatever makes the day easy for you and the children - ice cream for lunch, cartoons on TV (if that's what they want) while you catch up with some reading or whatever, or take them to a film (if it's one you can bear to watch), or take them out for the day (but only if it's somewhere you're happy to go to as well). I find if it's all getting too much and the children are monsters, what can work is just giving in a bit, forgetting usual standards, beind extra easy on myself and the children.

Also, as one fresh from the fight with my dh over 'me time' and birthday treats, can I say what a difference my day alone in spitalfields has made to me. I really needed that space, and was getting really ratty, and I mean really, about not having it. I felt I so deserved it and couldn't shake off the feeling of injustice. I just couldn't be anything approaching a nice mother while I felt like that. Don't know how easy it is for you to get some space, but if you feel you need it more than usual roisin, try and sort something out asap.

I know what you mean about wishing your sons would grow up - I feel like this too sometimes. Mine have so much childish energy. And they are so loud. The noise level, even when they are good can drive me mad!

"The noise level, even when they are good can drive me mad!"
Oh how true that is in the house of scum also, tigermoth.

roisin- I do agree totally with the mothmeister on taking it easy- surely swimming at 8.30am on a Sunday is missable this once? It sounds like a terrible torture devised by parent haters to me. I also agree with getting out of the house with them if you're feeling strong enough or maybe scheduling short periods of structured time- cooking, drawing, board games, what ever.

For really not feeling strong enough days though you need to scrap all that. Are your sons into pretend play? (I'm not sure how old your elder one is but your ds2 is the same age as my twins, I think.) On days when I'm feeling shite and unmumsy I play "Evil lazy mummy and the child slaves from the olden days" with mine. It involves me lying on the sofa issuing occasional commands like "Get my blanket and tuck me in or suffer according to your lowly rank..." "Put in the video and press play, IMMEDIATELY. No, you may not choose what you like. I am the evil one who rules over you and I get to choose..." "Sit quietly, slaveys or I will sell you on to an even eviller master. Fingers on lips. NOW!" "Go to the marketplace and buy our supper." "You boy- feed me a chocolate." etc etc etc. It is most satisfying for all parties, I must say. I find that being sleepily imperious from the sofa invaribly improves my mood no end and they think it's hilarious and rush to comply with every command.

roisin,I have to say I read your message too and thought ugh, swimming at 8.30am on a Sunday, one of the only 2 days a week there's no darn school run, no, no, no, I couldn't do it. When they are unpleasant to be with can you lock yourself in the bathroom with a large glass of wine and stick a video on with promises of large bars of chocolate if they don't bother you til the end of the film? Or are they too young for that, sorry, don't know - may be the kind of thing you wouldn't contemplate anyway! Oh, just read tigermoths and scummy's posts and they say a simil\ar thing although scummy, your game makes me larf, might try that although can imagine my ds giving me a 'you've got to be joking' look and saying 'I don't think so' in his teenage voice. Still, might be worth a try

Hi! Thanks for your messages TM, WWW, & Scummy - really cheered me up this morning to read them.

Might try Scummy's game later!

Btw swimming at 8.30 on a Sunday isn't really that bad ... it works quite well for us actually. The kids are up anyway, no-one gets a lie-in (not even the neighbours ), and this way we are out of dh's hair for an hour or so. We've been doing it for 4 terms now. Atm the pain is that ds1 has lessons at 4 pm on a Sunday, which isn't great for us. But I hope he will get promoted next week, and be back on Sunday am lessons.