Nursery v Childminder

[AlmondFrangipani]

Looking for childcare for my DS who will be 13 months when he starts in the summer. He's going 3 days a week. It seems such a minefield so thought I'd ask the pros! Which is better and why?

I used a Nursery for my DD.... but now Im a CM.

I bitterly regret using a nursery and wish i'd had the balls to become a cm earlier

I used a CM for a few months for DS then switched to a nursery and and very glad I did. He gets much more interaction with other children and his social skulls have thrived.

The childminder was a bit odd though so that may have clouded my judgement. She text me at 1am one morning to tell me she'd had a dream my DS had died in her care. I never took him back there.

Skills not skulls. Bloody autocorrect.

I agree with fuckwittery that you should go and look at a variety of nurseries and childminders.

I did that, but decided very quickly that for a young child, a secure attachment with one person in a home environment was much more appropriate for my child.

Once she was three, dd attended both the childminder and an amazing pre-school. It was the perfect balance for her and us.

There isn't a one answer. It depends on the child, the care setting and the parent.

My oldest was a quiet gentle baby who needed calm. We found a cm who only had one other mindee. We can work at home to cope with illness etc.

My youngest probably would have been fine in nursery (v sociable dc).

A good cm is great but a single point of failure. As it turned out she's let us down once in 5 years. We are lucky.

Visit, visit, visit.

I wanted a childminder as I absolutely think a trusted adult in a home setting is great for childcare. But when I visited them, I didn't really gel with any. I couldn't find the individual who I thought could be an extension of our family.

Then I found a small family run nursery and the way they knew the children and cared for them was right for me. Really warm, tactile and individual. Very supportive about me continuing to breastfeed and my complete bottle refusers. The manager has cuddled me on more than one occasion when I stressed over settling the children in!

I've now sent two children there and they have had the same staff (think there has been one person leave and one arrive) in three years. The staff have their own children there and grandchildren there.

So my natural instinct is for a childminder but it happened that a nursery happened to fit my needs better in actuality. So visit as many places as you can because I think the relationship and trust between parent and childcare provider is paramount.

This come up on here quite a lot.
Ultimately, it's personal preference.
People have different reasons, and different ways of thinking, but have to agree with everyone who says go and visit a few possibilities.

There will be Nurseries and CMs who are OK, who are great and who are poor - go and get a feel for a few (assuming you have the choice)
Personally I'm very, very glad we made the decision to use CMs.

When I visited both locally the nursery I picked own hands down and I never regretted that decision for DS. That doesn't mean it is the right decision for every child though so the key is to look around and pick what is right for you.

Think about what it is you want from the setting you pick and visit places with that list in mind. Don't worry about asking questions to help you decide.

I think the other thing to consider is how flexible you need the childcare to be. I've found DDs nursery to be very good at taking her last minute or equally changing hours when I've needed to.
To be fair I don't know how flexible childminders are so that may be a pre judgement by me.
Just pick what works best for your situation and child.

I don't think you really know what setting you want until you find the right one. You might have ideas of what you'd like, but for me it's all about gut instinct.

We went for a CM and she's great, and all the CM's in our small town work together and hire halls several mornings a week so they can play together, so socialisation was fab (also means my dS1 had met a fair few kids before he started playgroup/nursery, and as he was a bit of a shy/sensitive baby this was great for his confidence).

The main reason I veered towards a CM initially was that I wanted one adult to deal with, so that there was no issue with communication/info not being passed on etc. I didn't want a range of people working with my child that I might never see on pick up/drop off. But that was me, it's all about what is the key thing for you. I have friends who have put their kids at nurseries they're totally happy with, and others that have used CM's or nurseries they really didn't like after a month or two and have taken them elsewhere.

There is no answer, it's not a competition, they both offer different things and you really need to find the place that makes you think - yes, I could send my child here.

Thanks for the replies. I have visited all the nurseries in my area and love a couple of them but the dilemma I have is that they both have an 18 month waiting list. The only nursery that has a space is brand new and a large chain nursery. It's also a bit of a slog to get to through rush hour traffic so I'd rather not send him there (although I have friends with babies there who are happy). I'm thinking if I can find a childminder for the interim and move him to the nursery I want when a place comes up. Hmmmm dilemmas!

I would use childminder for 6-7 months. Then nursey they have loads of fun activities for them as they approach toddlers

almond - that sounds like a good plan, the key thing is then finding a CM that you like for the interim period until you get into the nursery you want - so looks like you might need to do some more visiting :-)

Just to add something else into the mix... DS1 is starting school this year, so another issue we considered when looking for childcare was what would happen for school drop off etc (we both start work early and have no family in our town to stand in for us). Our local primary does have a before school club but they charge £9.50 a session for that (which I think is excessive), whereas our CM just charges her normal rate (£3.50 an hour), so we'll be able to drop off both kids with her at 8am, then she will drop off DS1 at school, and I will pick up DS2 at 1:15 when I finish work.

She will also take DS1 during the holidays too, which is something we needed due to not having family local.

My ds goes to a nursery but it has really small groups, 5 children and the same carer everyday, they are like a little family.

I like that they are in a nursery because I wouldn't want ds being taken to do other kids school runs or to do the chilminders shopping/appointments/sitting around while the chilminder cooks. I wouldn't have wanted a larger nursery group (15 kids seems to be normal in other local nurseries I went to look at one with 30 1-3 year old, is was crazy!) I think if I had to choose between a big nursery group or a chilminder I'd opt for a chilminder but I'm happy with the small nursery group option.

I had this dilemma but in the end felt most comfortable with a childminder that I met. Turns out to be an excellent decision. I like the home from home environment, the fact my dd is cared for by a mum, and my dd absolutely adores it. Cm is very reliable and flexible. Dd has lots of interaction with others, there are 4 different children there on various days and cm has another best friend cm with 4 children and they all play together. When she is 3 I will look.at pre school plus cm

See, this

I like that they are in a nursery because I wouldn't want ds being taken to do other kids school runs or to do the chilminders shopping/appointments/sitting around while the chilminder cooks

is exactly the reason why I felt a Childminder would be the best place for my dc, prior to school age - an environment that was as close to a home environment as possible. They have YEARS of being sat in the same room all day, following planning, and being part of a group. I just didn't want it to start when they were babies.
My ds used to go out every day to take the "big boys" to school, then they'd walk through the park on the way back and stop for a go on the swings. Sometimes, yes, they'd go to the Post Office or the local shop, and a couple of times a week they'd go to a toddler group, but every day they'd be out and about doing things, not sat in the same room for 10 hrs, with only the same garden/outside space to go to.
When he started school, he was used to the playground and building and concepts (she used to take him into assembly sometimes brave woman), and when he started school he had the consistency of the same person giving him breakfast and collecting him at the end of the day.

My ds is extremely active so sitting in the pushchair or car seat is his least favorite activity, he's very able to walk ling distances but not very good at walking in the same direction as the adult in charge so school drop off or shopping would be no fun for him, I can see why it would be nice to be in that environment for a calmer child.

The nursery ds goes to is on a nature reserve so they go out and make bonfires to cook their lunch on and go sledging and ice-skating in the winter, I love it that tge day is only focused on the activities that the children will love, ds has to come to my appointments and do our shopping and errands so when he's at nursery I want him to only do things that are aimed at him.

He is only there 4-5 hours a day (2 of those hours he is asleep) but the other 3 hours are such fun for him.

I like nursery as its the big family thing I prefer.

DS was always going to be an only child so I liked the fact he was in with a larger group of people in nursery. I also liked the fact if there ever was a problem there was a management structure I could go through - you often see people on here agonising about giving feedback to their cm (although I completely accept that's more about me than anything else).

But ultimately, do what feels right for your dc and your family.