Who goes to bed first - toddler or baby??

[YouPutYourRightArmIn]

Am due with dc2 in the summer and can't work how bedtime will work!!

DD will be 2.5 and currently has a bath or shower then pjs, story with me and DH, milk, in cot (soon to be bed), lights out, I sing then leave her to drop off which takes anything from 10 mins to 1 hour but I aim to be out of her room by as close to 7pm as poss though its more likely to be 7:30pm.

She's currently got an aversion to DH doing the singing bit and us v clingy for me. We plan to work on this in the coming weeks.

I know newborns don't rray have a bedtime and I can't for the life of me remember when dd's 7pm bedtime started but how the hell does it work with two????

How do you do bedtime??

Toddler goes to bed first. I have a 3m and 23m old. bedtime carried on as normal for the first 2 months. Baby was bathed about once a week but otherwise wasn't involved.

Now the baby has started falling asleep at about 8pm after his bath with DS1 at 6.30.

So toddler asleep by 7 and baby asleep by 8.

Should add it's definitely a 2 person job.

Ok thanks. Sounds like you e hot it working a-ok!

I sometimes have to hang out on the landing if dd is upset/throws teddies out of her cot etc. Well I suppose I don't have to but it's easier than running up and down the stairs. Can't see that I'll be able to do that with a newborn in the throes of the witching hour. I guess we need to work on that too!!

DH is home by 5:30-6pm most nights so thankfully we can share it. DD is just so clingy for me when she's tired though (ie if DH tries to take her up for a bath whilst I'm still diwnstaies she hates it but will eventually go) but I guess we'll have to try and break that pattern.

Im due dc2 when dd will be 2.10. I am planning and hoping that it works, to give dd a big bubble bath, dunking dc2 in at the end. Milk for dc2 while dd has milk and a story, swaddle dc2 and down into the basket, then I put dd in her bed. DC2 sleep in the basket near me til 11, dreamfeed and bedroom.

Dc2 to stay in with me for the year (two bed house), then 1 & 4 yo to bed together.

As I say, planning stages, so who the heck knows how it will work in practice!

I do both at same time - bath for toddler (4 wk old goes in bouncer or in Moses basket), then both into bedroom, both changed into pjs, toddler has milk and baby gets a breast feed, then brush toddlers teeth then lie in toddlers bed with both of them for story, and breast feed baby at same time if needed. Then say night night to toddler and put baby into Moses basket, and carry her out of the toddlers room and into our room.
My DP isn't home till 10 so I do it solo, it's fine xx

2.6yo and 4mo here. When DH is home DS1 gets his bath and DS2 dunked in at the end then I'll take DS2 to our room (sleeping in cot with us as he's bf), do pj's and bf and settle him while DH does story and settling for DS1.

When DH works away I'm bathing then pj's on both, bf DS2 while I read story and settle DS1, then take a usually sleeping DS2 to bed.

I also do it on my own. Ds is 3.8 and dd is 6 months.
The trick I have found is to start early.

Dd gets tired and wingey at about 5:50/6:00 so I feed her and settle her usually by about 6:30.
Ds has a long bath whilst all this is going on and once dd is settled I turn my attention to him.
Obviously if your eldest isn't old enough to be in the bath on her own then you could just pop in front of cbeebies whilst you settle the baby.

Generally speaking both of mine are in bed settled by 7, then I have to go downstairs and tidy up the chaos!

I don't bath dd at bed time it's just too much stress and tend to bath her during the day.

Thanks all! Interesting to hear what works!

Loving the idea of a group cuddle! I guess it's like anything and we'll just muddle through without consciously working out it beforehand - feel such a novice all over again though!!

First few weeks - toddler bedtime as normal, sometimes with baby in sling/on boob during! A few hairy evenings but on the whole pretty manageable (repeat - sling a lifesaver here).

Now, 4 months in, baby DD has established her own bed time (and makes it very clear!) - handily this is about half an hour before DS's so I take baby upstairs, change, feed and put to bed, then run DS a bath and do his bed time. Usually DS is downstairs wih DH during this but he sometimes olays in his room or occasionally comes into the room and watches a TV programme while I sort out DD (who is thankfully extremely tolerant!). On a good day, both asleep by 8 and a nice quiet evening ahead. ..

I have a 3yr old and a 1 yr old. We've followed this routine since our youngest was about 5 months old.

With 2 adults we do:
-dinner
-bath them both together
-one of us pulls baby out, pjs, bottle, bed
-the other lets toddler enjoy a longer bath before pulling him out, then its pjs, story time, bed for him too.

When its only 1 of us:
-dinner
-bath them both together
-pull them out, let toddler cuddle up on couch watching a show or playing quietly in their room while baby is being put to bed.
-get toddler going with pjs, storys and bed.

If baby doesn't want to go to bed we encourage that little one to play in their crib for a bit with their light show and carry on with toddler. If baby is fussy then baby can stay up later but really at our house our youngest is always the first to conk out.

I remember dd bringing her bedtime earlier and earlier herself. We've always been pretty baby-led so I guess we'll do the same. Problem is, as a bit of a planner, the unknown messes with my head!! Parenting has taught me to be flexible though too!

I do it on my own with 3.4 and 5months who share a room.

Both in bath at 5.45, baby out first and dried, in PJs while toddler plays in bath. Toddler out and dressed. Toddler settled downstairs with milk, snack and CBeebies. Baby breastfed and settled in cot by 6.30/6.45. Toddler upstairs just before 7, stories on mum and dad's bed, taken into his room and put into bed...luckily baby sleeps through this part. Generally all quiet from 7.15 so it is do-able. We've done this since baby was about 2 weeks, although he was sleeping in our room at that point.

I actually love threads like this as it showed there's more than one way to skin a cat!! Thank you all, it'll be interesting to see how it all pans out!

Good thread, good to hear of you who put two to sleep by yourself. My DH home too late to help with bedtime most nights. I shall remember the trick is to get it going early.

17 months between mine and we slotted the baby in with ds' routine more or less from birth.
He had his supper and milk, she had her bottle (f fed), they both had a bath/wash, nappies on, cream on, PJs on, story and bed.
The baby went into her Moses basket and slept in there for almost 4 months; she stayed in the living room with us until our bedtime at first then we put her 'to bed' in our room from around 12 weeks.
Doing the bedtime routine solo with a toddler and a newborn wasn't easy but was do-able. I used to let ds watch tv whilst I gave the baby a strip wash and got her dressed, then put her on the floor whilst ds got a wash before giving both of them their supper. Bath night was more tricky but still manageable; preparation and forward planning were the key.

Interesting to read others experiences as I'm new to this, daughter is 2.5yrs and baby is nearly 8 weeks.

My husband is nearly always home too late to help and I was initially in a real state about how on earth to do dinner/bath/bed alone, I have a very (obsessively) structured routine for my little girl as she's always fought bed time (but thankfully sleeps a dream) and as she was my one and only I had time to indulge this...but it's a bit up in the air now, which she didn't take to well to (read she screamed and tantrumed aplenty)

Coinciding with baby's arrival DD has needed an increasingly earlier bedtime as long day time nap is lessening, so I'm doing:

Dinner at 5.30 - on a good day baby naps or has just woken from nap so is happy while we eat (or I'm eating one handed and willing DD to hurry)

Bath - daughter in first, then baby for quick bath, I then dress him in bathroom while DD continues playing in the tub

Dress and dry DDs hair/brush teeth with baby in room, he likes sound of hair dryer so is generally calm during this

DD then either plays or comes to sit 'quietly' in baby's room while he is fed and put to bed (sometimes this is straightforward sometimes he's screaming and DD is chatting away and it's a bit argh!)

Then into DDs room for her story before her bedtime ideally before 730

It's hard when baby is tired at same time as DD as I'm not sure who to prioritise (to be honest would prefer DD to be in bed on time as otherwise she's grumpy but this isn't possible if we're listening to a crying baby)

The nights it works I feel like superwoman...the nights it doesn't - not so much!!!

Reading this with interest! We're TTCing DC2 and DS is 18 months. So glad to hear of other people who do it solo - it gives me hope because I get into a mild panic thinking of the logistics.

Can I ask a question? With DS we had the time and luxury of indulging in long evening cuddles downstairs pre-six months, and I'd take him up to bed with me. We did the whole keeping him with us for the first six months followin SIDS advice. For DC2 it will just be more practical for them to "go to bed" downstairs rather than sleep in my arms so I'm free to nip up to DS if he wakes up - he sleeps pretty reliably but has occasional bad nights. So I'm thinking a moses basket downstairs, and then a smaller portable one in our room for if I have to take them up with me during DS's bedtime (we all co sleep so he's in our room anyway) and I can place DC2 in there, wait for DS to go to slee and then I creep out with DC2.

So - sorry! - my question: those of you that put your young baby "to bed" downstairs, did you just settle them in a moses basket or travel cot in the living room as if it were in a bedroom? I know this is really dense but we just never did it - DS would sleep on one of our chest's all evening until we went to bed so we just never did it that way.

We just put the baby 'to bed' in the Moses basket in the corner of the living room and left them to go to sleep (we did this with both children). When it was our bedtime we just carried the basket upstairs and put it down on the floor next to our bed.

Mumofboyo thank you - it sounds so simple! I don't why I couldn't imagine it. Sometimes the littlest thing can make you feel so dense.

zebra glad I'm not the only one struggling with the concept of the simple things. When I was pg with DD I could not for the life of me work out where I would put the baby when I went to the loo!!!!!

We have dd1 who is 3.4 and dd2 who is 9 weeks old. We tried to keep our 3yo's routine much the same as far as possible and dd2 just slotted in. It was hard for the first few weeks, but now she's a bit older, we're in a bit more of a routine for her in the evenings too.

3 yo - supper at 5-5.30ish, start getting ready for bed at around 6.45 - milk / teeth etc or, if it's a bath night, bath at 6.15, then milk and teeth. PJs, story and songs - baby in the room at this point - then cuddles and bed at around 7.30(-8 if it's a bad night!)

At first, the baby just slept randomly but she started going to sleep at about 9pm, so that's now our last 'waking' feed - I do feed again at around 11pm before i go to bed. It's easier now she's a bit bigger and I bath them both together, but that's a 2-person job if possible!

DH read to DD1 up in her room vaguely between 8&9pm. DD2 BF downstairs on the sofa while I watched TV with subtitles and was deposited in crib/cot/bed some time between 9&9.30pm.

Repeat for x years, where DD2 forbids me to put give you the value of x

Lots will depend on the baby itself. Ds1 followed a fairly conventional bedtime routine and I was expecting ds2 to follow on likewise...

Right from day 1 I never did manage to get him to settle early evening in his cot - it meant spending hours with him so dh needed to sort out ds1 (3). I gave up fairly soon and just used to keep him down with us in his bouncy chair or later on his high chair (a padded one that he could relax in rather than one of the hard upright ones).

He'd just come upstairs with us then and I'd give him a dreamfeed about 10.30-11.30ish while I watched tv or looked at mumsnet and then he'd go to sleep. Want until he was nearly 4 that he started to go to sleep a bit earlier and even now (he's 6, ds1 is 9) he tends to go to sleep much later than ds1 and is often still awake at 9-10pm !

So no matter what plans you have now - your baby may well have other ideas