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Parenting

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My husband doesnt want another baby

6 replies

stardust · 23/08/2006 22:47

With 2 delightful but challenging small boys, the discussion about no. 3 was never broached- DH's approach to discussion was to tell me instead of putting the sterilizer safely away for a rainy day, that we may aswell take it to the charity shop. I guess I knew we wouldnt have another, but was absolutely delighted to find myself expecting again. DH's reaction was pure shock, turning to horror to such an extent that he can hardly speak and indeed has buried his head for the last 4 wks, refusing to broach the topic. When forced he finally admitted that he doesnt want another baby,,, the reasons being endless...cant cope with 2, financial, stress, pressure....we have not discussed termination - the mere thought is soul destroying, but as time passes his horror is such that i really believe this will rock our family if we go ahead. My delight has also turned sour watching him panic....and i wonder how you can bring a child into the world wonderign if it will be accepted. I cant even imagine announcing this pregnancy, as he feels its such a devastation. How it happened (accident) is not the issue...i know it takes 2 and there is no blame, my concern is how to face the future, with or without this baby. If anyone has been in a similar situation, I would be really grateful for some advice.

OP posts:
MoreTeaAnyone · 23/08/2006 22:49

Don't do anything that you'll regret later. You must take time to work out what you want and which consequences you ccan cope with for the rest of you life.

SittingBull · 23/08/2006 22:53

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aviatrix · 24/08/2006 06:51

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pablopatito · 24/08/2006 11:33

I'm not an expert at all. However, I've known lots of people who didn't want to get pregnant for whatever reason, but never met anyone who then didn't accept the child when it was finally brought into the world. If you're delighted to be pregnant then that's great. I've a feeling DH will feel the same at some point. It may be ten years down the line, but I'm sure it will happen.

But I don't really know what I'm talking about.

Molton · 24/08/2006 11:42

Keep talking to him and loving him - he probably hates what he is doing to you - feels guilty etc. but at the same time he has to be honest (hugs)

izzybiz · 24/08/2006 18:38

The thing is with men, they dont have the hormones driving them like we do.
my mum knows a bloke that was dead against having children with his wife, even to the point when she got pregnant and miscarried he admitted he wasnt bothered.
BUT, she fell again, and once his daughter was born he was absolutely besotted, he is now a house husband while his wife works!

What im getting at is he will probably adore the baby once its born. I think men get comfy with what theyve got, and cant look forward in the same way as we do.

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