Mealtimes

[Selja]

Every mealtime seems to be a bit of a battleground with our ds (2yrs 3mths) as he won't sit on his chair (booster seat) and alternates between sitting on our knees (which wouldn't be so bad if he sat still) or getting up and wandering around then coming back for mouthfuls. Does anyone else have this problem? Should I just be thankful he's eating or should I make him sit in his chair and strap him in? If we strap him in he has a paddy which doesn't make our mealtimes enjoyable. Of course my Dad thinks I'm not firm enough with him but it seems to be a choice between a peaceful mealtime or a stressful one. All ideas would be greatly appreciated.

Have you thought of a child table and chair ? I find that DS enjoys that. He will sit properly at it whilst it is far more of a struggle otherwise. It's not perfect but much better.
He enjoys dressing his small table and I or DH will sit next to him when he eats. (Except for WE, he doesn't eat his dinner with us as we eat late)
Breakfast is with us.... but recently he has been eating his breakfast so fast at his table, that we haven't even had a chance to sit down that he is finished and off to play.

Selja, reading what Rozzy posted made me think.... Have you tried being very firm for a few meals in a row... as Rozzy said, if you leave the table, this means you are finished. Of course he will leave the table a few times... but I do wonder if a bit of firmness wouldn't be helpful. He gets up because he "knows" that he can.

Hi Selja, I would be interested to know if you have always had this problem or if its just recent 'phase'? With dd (same age as your ds) I always let her down from the table if she asked to get out after finishing her dinner (or however much she ate of it) she would be asked if she wanted a yoghurt (or whatever) and knew she had to sit and eat that in her chair. We have a small table and chair for her too so this is often used for lunch and she sits in it til finished so I agree with Pupuce on that. I think I would be tempted to ignore his behaviour at the moment but slowly try to get him to sit down for longer over the course of the next year or so. Perhaps give him loads of praise and say what a good boy he is when he is sat in his chair (really over emphasise it), but ignore him when he is running around or sitting on your knee. He may start to realise you like it when he's sitting in his chair, therefore he may change his ways when he recognises he is pleasing you. Minimum fuss seems always to be the best approach and, like you say, at least he's eating well this way (unlike my picky dd!!)...
Good luck

Selja, we too are having this problem at mealtimes and I agree with Rozzy - make it clear that meal-eating is done at the table. Try to let your son choose his table if possible. We have two side tables, a kitchen table, and the dreaded high chair. I've found it helps (sometimes ) to let my son decide where he wants to sit - eg sitting on the sofa in the living room, with a side table pulled up close and Thomas the Tank on the TV. Pandering to him a little, I know, but at least he's sitting and eating.

My son is a slightly fussy eater, so I try to wait till I know he is really hungry before feeding him a main meal. He is most restless when he is least hungry. He's much more likely to respond to a firm 'sit down' when he really wants the food.

Good luck

Hi Selja, we had the same problem too! I overcame it by getting him the small table and chairs, and letting him choose some books for me to read to him while he eats his meals. Worked a treat. Also helps if I'm eating with him too.

Selja - I have a dd with appetite and concentration span for eating of a flea. I cannot get her to sit anywhere for long enough to eat, and so we go through phases of what works.

At present, she eats standing on her small chair at the kitchen worktop, with me doing something next to her (chopping veggies, preparing dinner etc). I think its that grown up feeling (at 2 1/4) that makes it fun. It's also quite clean, since the plate is at chest level.

I know this phase will pass, and I will soon be on to the next, but heh, if she eats, I'm happy (and its reasonable of course). Sometimes I just don't think the battle is worth it, one of my books says that table manners come later.

Ds has only been doing this for the last couple of months. Funny thing is he sits quite happily in a high chair when we're in a restaurant and is always well behaved. At nursery he sits at a snall table and chair until he's finished so its only at home where the trouble starts. Anyway last night we got his small table and chair in the kitchen and he sat there. He's was doing fine picking at his food (he wasn't that hungry) and talking to us until I decided to wash up and dh interfered trying to feed him then he rebelled! We'll keep on with the table and chair routine and dh has been given instructions to let ds get on with it in his own good time. We'll see how we get on. Thanks for the suggestions and I'm pleased to know that I'm not alone.

Selja, this is close to home! Our dd (21 months) started all this a few days ago. She refuse to get into her chair at all (child chair and table. I would go for firm, except she is not a great eater. So any strategy that gets food into her is preferred at present, sitting on Daddys lap with intervals roaming around seems to be the one she prefers! Naturally she does not do this at nursery! I have noticed that if we indulge the roaming for dinner she will sit down quietly for pudding. I had been thinking that we were feeding her too soon after we got in so she was still fairly hyper but maybe its one of those things they all do at some point. Firmness is also a problem as dH is much soppier than mean old mummy!

Hi folks, like Jessi I found that reading stories, or chatting and playing at the table was the answer with ants in the pants dd. If I didn't pay her attention she couldn't be arsed with my food game. I summoned up the energy (from God knows where) to treat her as a delightful guest at my table. And accepted that one meal in three was going to be wasted whatever. And as long as the growth rate is normal they are fine. Now she kinda likes the table laying/manners stuff and takes pleasure in scoring points off no.2. nb music/story tapes i find a help when my gob has seized up.