Time for baby's own room - I'm not ready!

[laura2323]

Basically what the title says. I think it's time for my 6 month dd to go in her own room. She is sleeping through (ish!) from 8/9-7 bar when she spits her dummy out! She wakes a few times through the night but I think she is just checking I am still there. She refuses bottles during the night so she is not hungry.

These are the reasons why I feel nervous about this. The first 5 months we had loads of problems. First it was bf problems (undiagnosed tt can't be snipped on the nhs can't afford private) so switched to ff after 3 weeks. The screaming continued 6pm-midnight every night. She wouldn't nap unless I held her. After each feed she would projectile vomit (think the exorcist!) and squirm around. Then I had problems getting the GP to listen when I suspected reflux and milk allergy. Finally got diagnosed 3 weeks ago with cows milk allergy and got prescribed nutramigen and domperidone and ranitidine. I am also weaning her. She is still being sick after each bottle, and food, but it's not like before, it looks like watered down milk and I think it is acid. She laughs and giggles after it so she is not in pain from being sick. She is also sick as soon as lay her flat or when she sits up after being asleep (going back to see specialist in May so this can be discussed) It had only been the past 3 weeks that she is sleeping and napping in the day, I can put her in her Moses basket (downstairs) while she's still asleep and she will go to sleep on her own.

Now for me it feels like I missed out on all the newborn times and it's only now I can enjoy my baby! She is still quite clingy in the daytime and will only go to me or my oh (when he's home from work).
I don't know if this is affecting me in anyway but I am not ready to put her in her own room! But I think now would be the best time as she can learn to settle herself in her own room.
Our routine is; I normally go upstairs at 7 after her bottle, we have cuddles and a story and then I put her in the swinging crib next to my bed. It takes between 45mins-2hrs before she is in a deep enough sleep before I can go back downstairs. I normally have to stroke her cheek and pat her back for her to sleep. I go to bed about 10.
The questions I have are;

• do I need to stay with her for the first few nights? I have a nursing chair that i could sleep in
• do I put her down or asleep?! I will not be able to reach her if I am sitting down so will not be able to rub her cheek or pat her back.
• when she wakes do I pick her up or comfort her while she's still in the cot?!
• she likes to sleep with a blanket touching her face, is this safe while in her own room? I've tried taking it of but she pulls it back! I made a crochet blanket so there are holes in it so she can still breathe.

Sorry if these are silly questions and for the essay but I haven't got a clue! Thanks for any suggestions!

If you don't want to move her, really don't. There is no rule once six months in parents room is over. We had to move our as he'd grown out of the crib and cot wouldn't fit. Honestly, it's been great. Before then we woke when he coughed, I think he's sleeping better and so are we.

What I did was let him get rally famillar with his room and cot. I got a nice mobile and every afternoon I would put him in it with music on and talk to him. Maybe do the ironing or clean the bathroom next door or read a magazine. So he knew I was near.

Then we just put him in his room one night and that was it. We have a camera and didn't stay with him.

I don't know about the blanket - our son loves them covering his face too but I just use a gro bag. Our house is fairy warm.

Thank you for replying so quick! She is getting too big for her crib so that's what is making me think she needs to move. She still fits in her Moses basket to nap as she naps curled up but stretches out at night! I wake at the slightest noise, I'm still only getting 2 maybe 3hrs a night!

Honestly, I think you should try her tonight. We found our boy was much happier in the cot. He can stretch out and now sleeps through.

I personally wouldn't get in the habit of sitting with baby for up to two hours. That's a lot of the evening gone for yourself when you are already tired. At least you'd have time for a long bath and relax yourself. Maybe put on a soft cd and stay outside the room tonight. My friend told me this and I took her advise and it worked for us.

You don't have to move her if you don't want to. Our daughter is 13 months and still sleeps in our room, honestly haven't seen why I'd want to put her in her own room yet!

I only moved my dd2 into her own room when she was about 14mo, and was secretly sad about it because I loved knowing that my baby was sleeping near me! Then she slept so much better in her own room and I got over the sadness pretty quick! I agree with the poster above to only move your dd when you feel ready though. You aren't making a 'rod for your own back' (hate that phrase) by delaying it, they have to adjust to the new room at any age. It doesn't matter if you move her at 6mo or 18mo. After a bad experience moving ds1 to his own room at 7mo - too many variables changed at once - new cot, moved house, new room - resulting in hysteria at 1am and vomit (on dh's head, while I was holding ds1 and dh was trying to mop sick off my feet as I was having a meltdown - funny now, less so at the time...), I changed as few variables as possible when I moved dd2 and she was fine. Got her used to the cotbed in our room first, then moved her with all her usual bedding, toys etc. Bella the lullaby butterfly was a godsend! I did the same bedtime routine as usual and put her down awake and then left her to settle to sleep. If she had cried, which she didn't, I would have just stroked and soothed and left the room, although I would have picked her up if she was very upset. I was prepared to sleep on her floor for a night or two if needed, but I didn't have to. Hope it all goes well.

don't move her if you don't want to. I put DS2 in the travel cot when he reached about 4 months (too big for moses basket but cot was still occupied by DS1) - I discussed with health visitor and we decided that if they said travel cot was good enough for a night/ a holiday then there was no reason it couldn't be used for a couple of months.

I preferred having him near as it was easier than traipsing into another room when he woke up (still feeding in the night until 13m mind you). I can't actually remember when he went to his own room, it must have been a gradual thing (he is nearly 3 now).

Good luck, don't worry about it too much, sometimes changes happen gradually with two steps forward and one back and then one day you realise your child self settles and sleeps through the night and you can't actually remember when it changed!

Assuming you have the room and you're not waking each other up, I agree with the people who are saying you don't have to move her. My daughter was in our room out of necessity until she was five, because we only had one bedroom until then. I don't know if I'd do that if I didn't have to, but it certainly can be done.

As for the blanket touching her face - mine would only sleep with something over her face at that age, so I gave her a ridiculously thin cotton diaper liner type thing and checked on her a lot. If that's how they want to sleep I don't see how you can really stop them, so a blanket with holes sounds like a good compromise to me. But I'm far from an expert, so don't take my word for it.

OP this post could have been me just a few months ago - dd, now almost 10 months, also has cma and had reflux too. She is still on nutramigen and has stopped her reflux meds (omeprazol).

Firstly well done getting an early diagnosis - I took a similar amount is time as you to find out what was wrong with dd. had no support or help from gp or hv - we had to go private as I was losing my mind.

Secondly don't worry about missing the newborn stage - I felt the same but after talking to my other mummy friends, it was a blur for them too. Just know you've been a lovely mummy giving all those cuddles (and that why dd wants you now - my dd is the same).

It's not relevant to your question but can I mention food allergies generally as my dd is allergic to eggs (she came out in hives when she had scrambled egg) and is being tested for other allergies too. As your dd has an issue with milk it will be with testing her for others.

I dreaded moving dd into her own bedroom as like you, had needed to be on hand during the night. We moved her about 5 months and she took to it really well and from day one she's been a better sleeper. Hopefully the same will be true for you

Sorry I haven't answered your questions but hope what I've said helps a bit in other ways.

Good luck

As others have said, I don't see why you'd have to move her. Can you fit a bigger cot in your room? DS slept in our room in a travel cot, anything bigger wouldn't have fit (was a Pack n Play with a travel cot sized mattress, bought by American friends as surrounded by Americans and South Americans where using a Pack n Play is very common as the main sleeping area - apparently, I'm going by their word ).

Anyway, so if you can't fit a regular cot that would be an option. Not expensive (I think ours was around £80 plus another £25 for the mattress, but many options around) and sheets available in most places, eg John Lewis, Kiddicare, Mothercare. Plus you have the option of using it for travel and it can easily be folded up and stored away when you stop using it. This is assuming you don't already have one!

DS stayed in our room until just after he turned 1yo. Before then I didn't feel ready, and I remember him being 7mo and DH asking when we might move him, and I just couldn't do it. I don't know why but I suddenly felt comfortable with it at 1yo. First he took his nap in the other room (as from 9mo he napped in his cot), and then we just sort of went in head first and put him down in there that night. Before we went to bed we would go in and check on him, stroke his cheek, coo over how cute he was... I still do sometimes, he is now 16mo. Fortunately he settled in there fine, it was as if he'd always been there, he didn't seem to notice the difference. And I was fine with it, because it just felt right by that point, whereas any earlier I couldn't do it.

When you decide to move her, whether you stay with your DD or not is entirely up to you. You could try her first and if she settled without you then you have an answer! If she won't settle without you then that just comes down to you and how you choose to do things, but the key thing is you don't have to move her and whenever you do you can just do it as you feel right with, there isn't a set way

My dd (18 months) also had reflux and screamed, squirmed and vomited her way through the first 4 months, it was totally exhausting and I totally understand when you say you missed out on a newborn. We feel exactly the same . Those early months were so draining and the nights so difficult that it all a bit of a blur.

We had dd in a crib in with us for almost 6 months (we couldn't fit a full size cot in) and my dh thought she might sleep better in a bigger cot. He was right and we never looked back. She was happy to be able to stretch her arms out without hitting the sides and she slept well and still does - I don't think she liked the disturbance of us going to bed after she had settled at 7pm.

Give it a oh see how you all get on if you don't like it you can always bring back into your room.