please help me get over dd's accident - feeling awful

[chocchips]

So Friday night my dd (21mo) was walking to say goodnight to her dad and by freak chance the radiator cover fell off the wall as she was walking past and landed on top of her.

I ran as fast as I could but it hit her in the head. She had a huge bump on her head. Paramedic was lovely and happy but had to take her to A and E due yo policy under 2s.

My dd is absolutely fine. She cried for a few mins on impact but after that its like it never happened. She is her usual self but god she has two black eyes and a big black bruise above her eyebrow. I am devastated every time I see her poor little face. I'm so sad, even though she is fine and happy.

How do I get over this?

Big glass of wine & advice that this kind of thing will happen again (& again) in the next 30 yrs. You'll never survive if you can't let each incident go.

Umm in the nicest possible way - here is grip- make use of it!

Accidents happen. She's a bit bruised but not damaged for ever, worse things happen at sea as my nan used to say!

She will have accidents/ get hurt in the future and if you can't cook you aren't any use to her. My 18yr old DS has just had to be "the grown up" when his girlfriend broke her ankle recently and her parents didn't really cope. Don't be like that with your kids. At least act confident and you'll get better at it!

I was like this the first time DS1 got injured. He slipped on the laminate flooring because I forgot to close the door while I was cleaning. He put his tooth through his lip and I felt awful for days. I acted confident, but inside I was devastated! Since then he's cracked his head open, broken his arm and had numerous bumps and bruises. It has got easier every time. I think you just have to accept it - if not you'll be a wreck by the time she's three!

Well it was an accident. And your dd will heal with no scarring.

You will get used to these things.

Thanks everyone. I definitely needed a friendly get a bluddy grip. It's her first proper accident and I think it's the black eyes that do it, she is just so happy and full of life yet she looks like she's gone 10 rounds with Mike Tyson :(.

I know there is so much more to come too!

You have my sympathy hun!! My dd is 8 months and crawling but trying to pull herself up on absolutely bloody everything! My mum was playing on the floor with her last week while I had a 5 minute break and my first hot cup of tea in weeks and dd suddenly broke free tried to walk and went head first into mum's laminate floor. Huge red egg on her head, inconsolable tears and me feeling awful. She still has a feint mark from it

Bumps and bruises are par for the course. We have a long way to go!! As someone up the thread said wine and lots of it once she is in bed!! And then get someone to screw the radiator cover back to the wall!

Hope the bruises go soon!! Be kind to yourself xx

I remember watching my DD1 sleep the day she broke her collarbone falling off a climbing frame, aged 3. I felt such a failure for allowing her to have become 'broken'. She was swinging from play equipment within days, and seemed to have an incredible ability to heal quickly. Hope your little one bounces back really quickly and give yourself a break and have lots of in the meantime!

When my ds was 7 he lost control of his bike and crashed into a wall. He broke his wrist and his nose, had loads of grazes and two black eyes. I wasn't there- Dp was parent on duty. Ds is 13 now and last week Dp found the x rays unexpectedly in a pile of stuff and cried at the memory. Not sure whether this helps or not(!) but just saying it's normal to be upset and shaken when your child is "broken" for the first time.

I feel a lot better now! Thanks everyone, she was extremely resiliant (more than me) and was charging around the A and E department like there was no tommorow!

I am very grateful she only has a shiner to show for it,, I know it could have been a lot worse but it looks so awful!

Could be worse, you could be sending off passports this week. Ds's passport photo is, um, representative of a toddler DS!

The purpose of DDs is to give their parents grey hairs.
My two have fallen down stairs, split chins falling off climbing frames, smashed bike helmets and broken wrists.
But
DD1's scariest didn't even end in tears or a visible bruise. She tipped a very heavy chair over and broke the bounce cradle her sister was sitting in on the floor. She missed hitting her own head on the wall and breaking her sisters ribs by mm.

It's easy to console yourself this time round, as it really was unpredictable and not due to something you'd been a bit lax about.

Erm,, I should imagine that you'd feel guiltier if they'd been hurt when you weren't supervising them quite as closely as you might

I know exactly how you feel!! I have a clumsy 18month old who fell over in the garden last week, leaving her with a massive bruise and lump in the middle of her forehead (went head first into concrete path!!). 2 days later she ran through the front room, tripped over her feet/a toy and headbutted the TV stand. There was blood gushing everywhere, and she was sobbing her poor little heart out while I was putting pressure on the cut to stop it bleeding. We also ended up in A&E - she was quite happily playing in the waiting room while we waited to be seen, but was sobbing her heart out again when the nurses glued her cut etc.
She looks a right state bless her - massive bruise on her head, plus cut along her eyebrow. I did feel guilty, especially as the 2 incidents were so close together, but have taken comfort in the fact that she is absolutely fine!! I know she will do things like this again, and no doubt we will end up in A&E again!!

Bottom line is, things happen. Sometimes we learn from things, in your case I would probably have gone round and made sure everything was attached to the walls properly etc, and the house was as childproof as possible (not saying you hadn't done this before, but after a freak accident like this, I'd be double and triple checking!!). But she was still have accidents. Fall over toys she has left out, or run into someone in the playground and butt heads etc. But kids heal remarkably quickly, and soon forget about all of these things.

Take comfort in her smile and laugh - this is what I have done for the past week and done my best to ignore the bruise and steri-strips!!

Thanks all.

*TwelveLegged what has he done!

Feeling loads better today. She is full of life so she is okay and that's all that matters. Her eyes are so bad I am worried about taking her out and someone reporting me!!!!

My dad dropped a large lump or hardcore on my head when I was 2 or 3 (no paramedics or hospital!) - I'm 31 in June and have survived with just a dent on my head.

Likewise I fell backwards off a full size rocking chair. It happens.

I'm thankful really has it has made me into a more accepting / chilled parent - where as my mother now worries more than i do.

DD still has a bruise up her forehead from falling face first into her bedroom door. No idea how she managed it; she's been walking ages and in very steady on her feet. Accidents happen; have a well deserved glass of wine.

I work as an out of hours GP and often do telephone triage - you would be shocked at the frequency of calls we get about babies and toddlers who have had accidents. You can safety-proof your home as best you can but you can't anticipate things breaking / falling off that looked perfectly stable before. A high number of toddlers manage to pull cups of hot tea or coffee onto themselves, causing nasty scalds, which must make a conscientious parent feel terrible. These things happen, hopefully the bruises will fade soon. Don't dwell on it x

We were at a wedding on Friday where the pageboy (2) had an egg on his head as someone (his dad, I think) had opened a door and whacked him on the head.

Yesterday ds (3) fell off the garden bench, cut the inside of his lip and all down his chin

And today a ladder has fallen on ds as he pulled something out of a cupboard at mums. He had been told to wait for somebody to help him... He ignored her. It was a step ladder, but still metal. Typical bloody 3 year old!!!

Just you wait, OP

You have my complete sympathy, OP! We somehow always feel responsible for accidents and misfortunes that happen to our children, even if there was absolutely nothing we could have done to prevent it! In your daughter's case, that was a completely freak accident - how are you meant to predict the exact time a radiator cover is going to fall off the wall?! The first time your toddler has an accident is always ghastly as it confronts you with the stark fact that you can't be in complete charge of their lives and protect them from everything - this comes as a horrible shock to us loving mummies!

The main casualty here was you, not your daughter -she's already put it behind her and is running around merrily!

Her face looks bad temporarily because her skin is so delicate at her age and shows every trauma, but it will heal without a trace. There was no lasting damage - no cuts and therefore no possibility of scars, and she was not hit hard enough to knock herself out which would have meant a lot more tests at the hospital.

Have a relaxing glass of wine as previous posters have suggested! The fact that you were so upset at this mishap shows what a bonded, loving mother you are and that is wonderful for your daughter!

Don't worry about being reported, there is a whole paper trail through A&E which will indicate that it was an accident and you sought help. You can't really do any better than that as children have accidents, no matter how careful we are.

Thanks everyone for the reassaurnce.

I don't like wine so a glass -bottle- of Malibu did me nicely.

Still has lovely black lines on the inside of her eye. However I have braved going out today, I did worry that I am going to be reported. I sought help immediately and I know this but my DPs mum had DP and his Brother taken off her for 6 months because of an injury to DP brother that she didnt cause at all, so it is still playing on my mind.

That must send a chill through you, but it is really rare. If your child appears in A&E more than a certain amount, they might send someone round for a chat (e.g. HV) but that is routine, so don't stress.

My ds fell off a low wall outside nursery while we were waiting to go in. He had a huge golf ball size bump which came up as I was looking at him, complete with a bruise which covered half his forehead. He cried his heart out mostly because he wasn't allowed to stay at nursery as they understandably don't have the staff to keep an eye on one child after such a bad injury.

Within an hour he was driving me mad and bouncing off the walls like his usual self and is fine now, though he's still accident prone.