Baby groups

[Tangoandcreditcards]

I was reading another thread about the poster feeling awkward at a baby group.

My DS is 10 weeks old and I feel too awkward to even go to one. I wouldn't even know where to start finding one that might suit us. I feel like my DS should socialise with other children at some point (I realise it's early days!) but other than 2 friends I already have with babies (not that nearby, I've seen each of them once since DS was born and they both go back to work soon) I really don't know where to start meeting other parents.

When I finish mat leave my DP will be a SAHD so I suppose we would ideally like to meet people with similar aged kids that he feels comfortable with too (but, alas, he's as socially awkward as me, we're a good match!).

Honestly the thought of just "inserting" myself into a group of strangers (in RL, on the internet is fine!) just fills me with palpitations. It's one of the reasons I avoided ante natal groups too... I feel like I "should" but I'm too scared. (I don't think I'm shy, really, just awkward... really really awkward).

I'm in a baby-heavy bit of London, so I'm sure there's no shortage of groups. Any tips on where to start looking for something that might suit me & DP, please? I've googled and get "mum & baby" and "bump & baby" groups locally, but it gives me the fear just thinking about rocking up:- will it be weird if I go with DP? What if no-one talks to me? Do I have to pay? I feel sick just thinking about it, but worry that DS is spoilt for adult company (we're both at home until the end of this year) and no baby company... and will end up as socially awkward as his parents!!

oh and BTW - your DH might actually find it easier once you go back to work, as I found a lot of friends I'd made early in mat leave went back to work full time or on a different work pattern to me, so I didn't see them anymore, suddenly the mums who'd had a wide social group they'd made early on or at antenatal classes didn't know anyone around in the week and were having to start again.

I was also quite nervous about attending these with my little girl, but was desperate to get out. I can find socialising quite hard.

In the end I asked my health visitor, who encouraged me to the 'first time mums' group at the local children and family centre. Also where the HVs were based. It was completely free, very informal, just a few toys and mats, and lots of women in the same situation. I was sooo glad I went - Everyone was different, we all talked about what were finding hard/gave each other advice and now our children are around 18months and we still see each other as much as possible around work.

I found it the best group in terms of relaxed people and no pressure, and I did try a few others which I struggled at. Perhaps ask your HV if there's something similar near you?

We moved to a new area just as DD arrived, and the best local friends I have (2.5 years on) I met at the local childrens' centre group for new parents.

I tried a lot of groups (desperate to make some friends) and IME the childrens' centre groups were easiest because there were a couple of staff there to welcome new people so I didn't have to stand around feeling like a wally. All the other parents were there to meet new people too, and as another poster has said, you have a good conversation starter in admiring each others' babies. These groups were free too and advertised on-line.

Church groups were also very welcoming, though I always felt slightly fraudulent attending them as I don't go to church. They never seemed to mind that though. These groups were under £2 to attend. Harder to find out about as not always on-line.

My DP has particularly enjoyed baby/toddler swimming classes. He's quite shy (and we had to change class recently because he found the one class too busy). An activity focus seemed to help. More expensive though: approx £10 per class and we have to sign up for a term.

I found the support and reassurance of talking to other new parents really helpful, but we can get that from MN too!