Please help me get DD 'nursery ready'

[MorelloKisses]

DD is six months old, EBF and bottle refuser. She has just started solids and is doing ok, although she seems to be having a few constipation issues the last few days...hopefully that is temporary.

I have 8 weeks until she is in nursery 3 days and really need some help with the following:

Feeding routing: she is EBF and feeds on demand, she seems to like to feed little and often rather than 5 large feeds. I am trying to stretch out the time between feeds but she still seems only to snack and I struggle to not feed her when she is hungry...actually not helped by introducing solids as this just takes the edge of he milk feed appetite more

Bottle feeding: she won't drink from a bottle, perhaps half and ounce here and there. I try daily with NUK latex (having tried loads) but no luck. I kinda feel that this isn't helped by her not having set feeding times (see above). She seems to be doing ok with a cup...but she spits more than she swallows

Naps: this isn't a big issue but she does have 3 per day....and she can't cope with less. 1hr at 9, 2hr at 12 and 40 mins at 4. (She goes to bed at 7). The real issue with naps is she likes a breastfeed before she goes down...in the dark...although I don't actually feed to sleep if I can help it

Night wakes: she is great at bedtime (7pm) we do bath, milk, cot, story. And she goes to sleep well, (doesn't feed to sleep). But she typically wakes at 12 and 3 for a feed...at these times she WILL NOT resettle without boob. Sometimes she wakes at other times and will settle self or settle with shush pat...

Can anyone advise me. I am willing to consider paying for help if people can recommend someone (central London). I can't be art he thought of her not being able to settle without me...

Thanks for reading my loooong post

Apologies. I can't bear the thought of her not being able to settle without me...

Ok.

First - get a doidy cup. It's an open cup not a bottle but with help she should be able to start drinking from one. Mine hated bottles but drank from this when dh offered from about 3 months

I would also consider moving bedtime back a little to 8pm. Assuming she will be at nursery until 5-6pm this will give her time with you in the evening so she doesn't wake more at night

At 6 months she will be ok without a bottle in day if she doesn't want. I'm guessing nursery is say 8-6pm approx, so you can give bf 7am, 6pm and 10-11pm approx ( dreamfeed might help her sleep through). She can get drink from doidy cup and will be eating also.

Might be harsh but I wouldn't feed during the night at 6 months. Dreamfeed at around 11pm before you go to bed and then only offer water in doidy cup if she wakes before 6am. So 6am -11pm give her as much as she wants on demand, but 11pm-6am no milk of any kind.

I'm a maternity nurse and do feed and sleep consultations. Here's my thoughts.

Babies are very adaptable and most will be totally different at home and nursery. Can you call and talk to your babies key worker about what they've done in the past to help? What is the settling in procedures at the nursery?

Feeding at nursery: in 8 weeks she will be taking some solids which should help. I'd get the nursery to do a mix of demand solid food and milk from beaker, open cup or bottle. You little one may take milk from key worker but not from anyone else.

Routine: a good supportive nursery will do demand sleeping at least for when a baby first starts. Your baby will probably be extra tired once she starts nursery even on the days she doesn't attend so keep things low key. Plan an earlier bed time than usual. Talk with key worker about how they will settle eg cuddles, rock in pram and come up with a plan. Other thing would be to introduce a comfort item so she can get used to settling with that.

As for night waking I'd not make any changes unless you do immediately and I'd recommend Dr Jay Gordon's night weaning method or gradual withdrawal. However as there's a big change coming up I'd just wait and see if it sorts itself out after starting nursery. I can offer advice on getting the longer sleep if you would like.

Hope that helps it's a big change for all of you.

One of my charges I went to do a three month placement with. Baby aged three months wouldn't take a bottle mum needed to go back to work. For six weeks he didn't drink anything between 8am-5pm but he was happy and bf a bit more at night. After six weeks and a lot of trial and error he'd happily take a bottle and his nights became more settled. He didn't lose weight, he was happy and it worked out.

DS was a bottle refuser. He went to nursery at 7ms and drank water from a cup and ate purees during the day and breastfed all night. It was hard going but we all survived! DD wasn't as bad and after a few days happily took a bottle of nursery staff, but still refused at home!

I'd try and get your DD attached to a toy or muslin comforter. Pop it in between your boob and her when feeding and let it go to bed with her as well . If she
adopts it it can make transition easier.

Hi. Thank you both, I really appreciate the advice.

The nursery do have a long settling in period, and I will talk to them about specifics, but I want to do as much as I can while there is at ill time.

I will get the open cup.

Wrt night weaning, I am prepared to make the changes now, is Jay Gordon a book. Also is he the anti vaccine guy, if so that doesn't settle too well with me.

and breastfed all night

But this....aarrgh... I am only just chomping at the moment, I can't do a 50 hour week on top....

Really quite worried

If you feed enough 6-11pm it doesn't have to be all night feeding. Like others said she will feed etc at nursery

So bf at home
Porridge with milk at nursery, fruit
Snack offered plus milk in doidy cup
Lunch - main meal offered
Doidy milk in cup
Snack plus milk in cup
Dinner at nursery
Bf at home once picked up
Bf offered before bath and bed
Bf dreamfeed

Plenty

Btw I would also try not feeding to sleep. So for example this evening bf her then give bath and read story before bed. So story becomes the last thing before bed not bf. this will help her not associate bf with sleep. Then at the nursery they can also read her a story before nap etc so routine stays similar

Thanks Art. I wasn't clear. She doesn't feed to sleep at night. Story is last, so at least that doesn't need fixing!

You are doing better than I was at this stage then! My DC were terrible sleepers and fed at 11, 3 and 6 for what felt like decades.

Can you wrangle working from home? Even a day off the commute will help you adjust.

She is going to be with her dad Mon and Thurs and nursery We'd-Fri. So 2 problems I guess re bottle. I will see if I can wfh Tuesday to make the transition easier, then at least I can sneak a feed in if necessary.

I just put her down for a nap and ended it with a short story (an abridged version of what we do at night) rather than straight from the feed, so I think that will help...

Excellent re bedtime. Just what you did with nap is good. Shortened version of bed means she can learn what cues are

You tried getting her drinking from a straw? DS is 7 months and BF (and slow to get to grips with solids) and I've been trying all sorts including doidy cups, sippycups and nuk latex. Last couple of days i''ve tried him with a cup and straw after reading about how to teach them on here and he's picked it up amazingly quickly.

You trap a little water in the straw and dribble it into their mouth, then do the same after a few goes but wait for them to suck, then just give it to them in a cup. Apparently you can look it up on YouTube too. Might be worth a go for another option?

Not sure about dr jay Gordon anti vaccine but his night weaning is basically choosing the core night hours to not feed. So say from after dream feed until 6am. I expect as she can self settle it should be easyish to do. I would try to increase feeds including solids during day before this for a couple if weeks before hand. Maybe do night weaning from now if you'll find it tricky to do work with limited sleep.