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Anyone else feel mum guilt?

5 replies

littleraysofsunshine · 16/04/2014 08:59

I have a three 1/2 yr old, 22mo, and 11 week old. I am constantly battling with mum-guilt.

We have such a great time the majority of it all but the times we don't I feel like I'm not doing enough. Three year old constantly wants for something, (only the past three months) mimicking younger siblings behaviours not happy if we have days at home (sometimes needed) wants to be baking, making or anything all the time with no nap - she have up naps when she was about two. She rarely has one now.

Dd2 is at the age where he's learning she's also her own person. So when dd1 wants to help her she just kicks off and wants to do it all herself. The screaming, hair pulling stage. Both always wanting all I my attention all the time.

Then I have 11 week olds needs. Demand feeding etc to fit in with it all.

She usually does nursery every morning. But even after that she's asking for more things to so. Especially when the other two need naps, and I quite frankly need a break even for a cuppa. But she will mostly just wake them up by shouting a lot or wanting for things.

Like now I'm having five mins. But they won't leave me alone. It's lovely and I do the story reading, playing, etc but surely i should be able to have 5 mins! And them to occupy themselves or together. I know they can do it, as they do at times. It's as if they just don't want me to have a break lol

I feel guilty that I'm not reading enough, playing enough, meeting all three totally different needs. When in fact I am but it still doesn't seem good enough at the times I want a break or the days when were at home.

Anyone else?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
minipie · 16/04/2014 13:49

Honestly, but with 3 those ages I'd count myself doing well if everyone was still alive at the end of the day Smile I think you sound like you're doing great.

Will your DD1 watch TV? I know it's frowned on by some but I think a bit of TV after lunch while the others nap would be fine as "quiet time" for her and a break for you.

Naiomi28 · 16/04/2014 21:03

Hello. I totally agree. You are doing an amazing job. Im also feeling mum guilt. I have a lovely and lively four year old boy and a 7 week old baby girl. I must say my son has been fantastic with her but im finding it hard to juggle my attention between the two of them equally. My son always seems to want my attention as soon as ive got my little girl in my arms and I feel so mean if I cant give him the quality time he deserves.

RedandChecker · 16/04/2014 21:12

I feel guilty all the time. Me and my friend often talk about this, no one warns you about the guilt, I think it means you are doing a good job and being a good mum though.

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sittingatmydeskagain · 16/04/2014 21:28

In your position, I would use "nap time" as special treat "tv time" for your eldest.

I always needed five mins for a cup of tea mid afternoon, but it became such a routine that the children knew that Mummy needed her cup of tea to stop her exploding!

alita7 · 16/04/2014 23:07

An hours TV a day won't hurt! there's also making she can do herself with you in the room like play dough and drawing or lego some of which dd 2 can join in with?
it sounds super hard and thank god you at least get the nursery break! luckily it's getting sunny so soon you can put her out to play in the garden while you sunbathe ;)

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