Feeding 19 month old why do I bother ? Any advice

[firstmum45]

Sorry had a bad day yesterday. I spent ages batch cooking shepherds pie, pasta sauce etc etc for the freezer, in order to make mealtimes quick and efficient. However everything I offer is refused and eventually thrown on the floor. I feel really guilty but I just think why do I bother wasting her time and my time with all this cooking using good quality ingredients and fresh vegetables.

Please is anyone out there going through the same experience. Is it just a phase will my daughter ever sit and eat a meal with us?

Thanks

My 18 mth old is doing the same. I have given up on lunches altogether now as he just isn't interested.
Breakfast is okay - cereal and fruit but all main courses are refused or only a few spoonfuls accepted

Your 18 month old sounds just like mine she will eat cereal and thank god lots of fresh fruit. That about it refuses pasta, cheese, all fish and meat and eggs however last Sunday my dh and I were nearly wetting ourselves with excitement because she decided to eat a few pieces of omlette, sorry we sound really sad but that was a milstone for her. I bet if I offer it again she will refuse it!!!!

oh yes, we go through it with my almost 3 year old ds2
Stubborn awkward little blighter.
I've been there, weeping over the pots and wondering why on earth I bother (doubley cutting as I am a chef and all he eats that is cooked is chips and daddy's fried rice)

I do wonder if he will ever sit round the table and eat a meal with us. I will cherish that moment

firstmum45 you are absolutely spot on the money, if you make omlette again she will say "Yuck".

I know what you mean firstmum45 - I can't wait for the day when we can all sit round and enjoy a meal together! I'm sure it's just a phase. Our DD is 18 months and some days just picks at her food-she wants to feed herself, so I give her a small bowl and then try and get spoonfuls into her mouth when she is distracted. DS (now 4.5) was the same at that age, but I think they 'self regulate' what they eat and you will probably find that, over a week, her diet is balanced. Good luck

"you will probably find that, over a week, her diet is balanced"

Hmmn. DS (16 months), average diet over a week:
7 bananas
7 weetabix
7 slices wholemeal toast
4 slices wholemeal bread
3 kiwi
1 mango
3 pasta shells
4 pieces of cheese
8 pints of milk
3 biscuits
1 cauliflower floret
1 piece of brocoli
1 and a half tomatoes
1 tin tuna
1 egg
9 yoghurts
1,267 strawberries
2,123 blueberries
867 blackberries

not sure how balanced that is?

My 14 month old is the same and it is driving me up the wall. She lives off gallons of milk and what small amounts of baby rice and fruit I can shovel in when watching tv. We had a small breakthrough yesterday when she actually ate 3 meals (although in minute quantities). I am working on cutting back her milk in the hope she'll have more room for food, but that means disrupted nights and I'm 8 weeks pg and soooo tired.
If its a phase I hope its a short one!

Pablo I would be quite happy if I could get dd to eat that in a week!

my 24mo ds is on 98% for weight and height - yet manages to live and be v active on a diet of toast and marmite, peanut butter sandwiches, yogurt, fruit bars, raisins, bob the builder pasta shapes and milk and apple juice - i sneak fruit and veg into muffins but do find that stickers and blatent bribery occasionly reaps results... eg today i got him to taste risotto buy letting him have a bite of biscuit first - then he goes straight outside and puts a muddy stick in his mouth! no incentive required fr that! GO FIGURE...

pretty balanced pablo!!

You won't want to hear this but I go through the same thing with my DSs and the eldest is nearly 5

Well done firtsmum - keep going anf keep offering the healthy stuff. At this age, I made the mistake of stopping and DS1 hasn't eaten what I call I "proper" dinner (shepherd's pie etc) since

yep, know where you're coming from!

today's been better, but yday ds ate only cereals and fruit.

Do you and toddlers eat together?

I have found that it really encourages them to eat and be still if everyone else is also.

Start with very small portions even as small as 1 pea, 1 sweetcorn kernal, a new potato. Some children are overwelmed by a 'normal' plate of food.

I have found that limiting milk in the day gets an appetite going, save the bulk of the milk for tea/story time before bed and teeth brushing.

Try to ignore eating behaviours as a reaction to food being thrown/spat out can encourage that to happen again and become a pattern, i found less eye contact and chit chat with others at the table to be an incentive, also no tv on but just radio.

Ds has been the same since May 2005. He's currently 2.10. Have generally tried to give up stressing. He gets by on cereal, toast and tomato soup largely and will every so often clear a plate of spag bol or pasta and tomato sauce or tuna pasta or fruity chicken sauce and rice - though in between he will have refused to eat these dishes a fair few times.
Used to do big batch cooks of food (since weaning him) that we could both have for lunch, but have stopped this because of the amount of food wasted (I can't justify the expense when money's so tight either) and now only offer what we had the night before or chicken out and offer him toast/cereal/tomato soup if it's a cert that it'll end up in a tantrum. Can find it really energy-sapping coping with it on my own and will cook more meals that he stands an outside chance of eating at w/ends or when gps staying or when on holiday becuase then at least I know someone other than me is going to be eating them.
Ds spends all day begging for food (cereal/toast/tomato soup) which is really wearing too - even when he's just had one of these options an hour earlier. Can't wait for him to grow out of it!

Thanks all for your comments and advice it is reassuring to know I am not the only Mum going through this phase atm.

Excuse typing have daughter on my knee. She did eat a really good breakfast today banana, cereal and toast with milk to drink.

Must sign off child colouring my white blouse with a red felt pen!!!!

Thanks

I've noticed my 14mo DS eats far better if there are other adults around and I'm talking to them, and leave him to it. Then he just eats, instead of uusing food to see if he can wind me up, eg throwing it or wiping it in his hair. Now if we're alone I get a magazine and sit next to him and leave him to it - works much better (as long as it's stuff that's easy for him to eat - finger food etc.)

I also find if he could he'd just eat bread, porridge and cake. The best way to get him to eat protein and veg is to make soup - very easy, just a pot with onions, veg (leeks, potato, sweet potato, peas, carrots, cabbage, squash, anything really) plus some lentils, chicken or turkey - add stock and cook till everything's cooked and soft, then blend to a thick mush. I add an apple or two as well to make it sweeter. He will eat this by dipping bread in it or if it's thick enough he'll eat it with a spoon. And if he refuses it, well it's very easy to make and so not as depressing!

pablopatito ... honestly, that looks like a good healthy diet spread over a week ... all that fruit and wholemeal stuff ... give yourself a pat on the back.
My DD was a champion eater until she went on hunger strike 14 months ago when we went to England for 6 weeks, where she ate only dry Shreddies.
She eats a good breakfast most days ... today spent an hour at the table and had two weetabix followed by a banana, followed by a bowl of branflakes, followed by an apple followed by the last of my breakfast (whole grain toast with peanut butter).
For lunch she had half a cracker and a sliver of cheese and a yoghurt.
For dinner she had a teeny weeny weeny bite of the casserole I made ...
That's it .... oh, she had some fruit at 3pm.
She is on the 98th for height and weight - dunno how.
The only 'meal' she will gobble up is spaghetti bolognese so we have that once of twice a week ... (well, I cook it once, we all eat it - then the next day she will have the left overs) But if I try to hide vegetables in it (tried to grate carrot in it last week - you couldn't see it at all) will she touch it? No chance!

are you spoon feeding your child? dd3 eats better with finger foods, tho i do serve up curry for her and she eats that with her fingers.

chicken strips, home amde oven chips lightly brushed with oil, brocolli florets, cauliflower, carrot batons, etc etc. i raely give her a spoon or fork and let her just tuck in with her hands.

dd2 is the fussy one, wont eat much at all, but is getting more balenced as she gets older, she is almost 4 now, and i am learning not to get stressed over what she (doesnt) eat.

I know how you feel! To avoid waste I just give ds (16mths) some of whatever dp and I are having, rarely cook just for him. Sometimes he eats loads, other times he isn't interested at all. We do the bread dipped in soup, he loves that. I have only recently given him his own cutlery, and that seems to have really increased his attention span at mealtimes. I will put a bit of food on his fork and he likes putting it in his mouth, then tries to stick other bits of food on it.

I too look forward to the day when we can all sit round the table and enjoy a proper meal together, but in the meantime I think you just have to stay cool and accept that this is normal toddler behaviour and they will eat when they are ready.

How do any of you manage to get your toddlers to sit at a table long enough to eat? I've had to give up as dd just climbs out of booster chair and is off (can't even get her into highchair without a tantrum..)

Ghosty have you tried pureeing the veg i find i can hide a carrot,celery,swede mixture this way?

With that breakfast she is a champ to eat lunch and tea to be honest, could you move some of that to lunchtime as think she is full from that for the day.

Bobblehead do you also sit down at the table i have found this is a good way of geting them to sit still, also turning off tv, putting toys away.

It can be a trying time but if you can work on her being at the table with maybe a harness so she can't get down and only letting her eat if she is at the table she will start to sit there more.

My ds is very fussy about veg but eats loads of fruit.He eats red meat very occasionally under much sufferance.He will eat eggs and wholemeal bread,fish and chicken and pasta,potatoes and cheese and pulses.My friend suggested "hidden vegetables" pureed into a sauce and served with pasta.He also eats loads of yoghurts and drinks milk.It used to drive me mad cooking wholesome meals and him rejecting them.I ended up going to the hv who bless his heart said "Dont worry hes getting what he needs,no child will actually starve themself".I think some children are just fussy.We always sit at the table and eat our meals together,and i always try to provide nutritionally balanced food.Keep offering it but dont make too much of a fuss if not eaten.I think I went wrong here and he sensed my anxiety and used it as a weapon when dd arrived!!!I also cut out snacks except fruit and ensured ds has lots of exercise to work up an appetite.Sometimes the "If you dont eat your dinner theres no pudding "threat works.Sometimes he just has a few mouthfuls.Dont be hard on yourself you could be giving him McDonalds and chocolate everyday!!!

Just had yet another crap dinner. He ate 1/2 a banana and threw pasta and sauce all over me. Refused all other foods. Why do I bother even sitting him in the highchair?

so i'm not the only one who ends up on hands and knees crawling around the floor picking up meat and fish and vegetables that have been flung away in disgust?

dd is 19 months, she'll eat cereal (has a good breakfast every morning) and she likes bananas and pears and limited other fruits and loves yogurt and will usually wolf down pasta in any form but most days dinner is a joke... an hour or more of her throwing food and hardly eating at all while me and dp get steadily more frustrated. we all eat together but she's still there well after the dishes are done fiddling with her food (god help anyone who tries to feed her, that'll end the meal quiker than anything!)

she doesn't get lunch anymore as she's never hungry in the sfternoon,

that said she's growing at an enormous rate, has loads of dirty nappies and is healthy and happy so i've decided i no longer care... she eats when shes hungry, good food is always on offer and she knows how to ask for food if shes hungry so why panic?

I can cope with the refusal I'm just fed up of having to wash my clothes so frequently

give them a spoon and stand well back

spoon gets thrown too!

ah at least it's the weekend, I can force DH to deal with the meals

Just thought I would report back to this thread
firstmum45 - how are you getting on?

We have had progress this week. Highchair has been refused but sitting at the kitchen table most things are now being eaten - pasta & meat sauce/ cheese sauce, crackers with cheese and today puy lentil soup!