Party for 9 year old?

[MeridianB]

I wasn't sure where to out this so hope it's not too out of place here.

My friend's DS is turning 9 very soon. He has had a party for about 20 friends in a sports centre every year but is not the sort of boy to 'expect' it. She has recently been made redundant and wants to avoid the cost this year and do something different for her DS and 2-3 friends (an afternoon out or a tea) but her DH is adamant that the (same size and type of) party should be arranged as usual even though they really cannot afford it. He plans to ask his and her families for money to pay for it instead of gifts for their DS.

She doesn't seem at all keen on this and asked what I think but I don't know enough about how important parties are to children of this age.

Any thoughts or views gratefully received...

My ds3 is just nine, he had a rollerblading party was v cheap as a local sports centre has a hall you can hire and they provide the skates, tho lots of his friends had their own.

£50 for two hours, I just supplied food and drink.

Or other friends have done lazer quest, tubing (big round thing on dry ski slope) or cinema trips or bowling or as the weather is getting better you can do outdoors stuff?

A party at a park or do they have a largish garden?

dd had a bowling party for her 9th birthday and invited about 6 or 7 friends to it. Parties tend to get smaller as they get older and there is no need for a big 'do' for everyone. For her 10th she had a lazer tag party and invited a selection of friends to that too. She hasnt had a whole clas party since she was 7 or 8 I think.

DS is 7 and wants either a bowling or lazer tag party for his 8th birthday.

Your friend could even do something like the cinema followed by food out for 2 or 3 friends.

Not keen on asking for money to pay for the party tho, they must be able to sort something, what is their budget?

Many thanks for quick answers and suggestions.

Not sure how strapped they are but I think she had a really good salary - maybe £50K - and so it will have been a big dent to lose it (no sign of anything in pipeline either).

The things you describe are the type of things she has suggested as alternatives but it's her DH who wants to stick to the same format of the big football party with coaches which is then followed by homemade games and food then cake and goodie bags and she said it costs them around £200 each year.

She'd be more comfortable spending around £50 with a smaller group and is convinced her DS will not mind. She also feels really uncomfortable about the asking for money thing. Her DH says a 9-year old should have a big party and will remember it if they don't.

my lo's friends all stopped having big parties by that age and start doing smaller ones with closer friends e.g. dd went to a pamper party recently and there were only 6/7 girls there.

There is no need for a big party and having a big party they cant afford is just stupid and pointless

Nah they don't all have big parties at this age, we had 25? At the rollerblading but only because the hall hire was so cheap and they provided skates and it was a huge hall. No organised games just music and there are disco lights in the hall. Food was pizzas from Tesco and crisps and biscuits and then they all got some haribo to take home.

If he does want a football party there has been an offer on at my local football place which is a chain, goals? Or something it's called, ten kids get football training and game and food and partype bag for £50 it was one of those email offers that you sign up for.

They can easily do a cheaper party, the Dad is being daft.

I did think about suggesting they ask their son what he wants but not sure how helpful that would be!