help - sleep training not going well...

[hettytucker]

poor dh has been upstairs over an hour and ds (24m) still not returning to bed to sleep - killing me as all i can hear is ds begging for hug really want to give in but i can't as ds constant waking at night is depriving us all of sleep and i am bf 4 mo dd at night dh has to go to him then commute to london in am. please someone tell me this withdrawl method works!

apologies for lack of punctuation bf'ing so typing one handed - should say we are using method of returning ds to bed and leaving room without conversation etc. in order to teach him to fall asleep on his own - 5th day

Hi Hettytucker. I haven't really got any advice but wanted to say that I so know what you're talking about. My dd can be the same at times specially when she's teething. Had a difficult time yesterday evening, I was bfeeding ds too and all I could hear was her crying, dh was losing his patience and I really wanted to go and sit with her. Not helpful to you I'm afraid but wanted to respond and say I understand.

thanks cloudberry

still need to know if this method works as dh is losing faith

Have you read the No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers?

It is a gentle and child-centred method of helping children to learn to settle themselves to sleep and I can really recommend the book. It sounds like the method you are following is just upsetting you all and not getting results. Controlled crying (leaving child to cry to get back to sleep) is not recommended for under 3s , but there are other methods which work well and don't distress either you or your child. I hope you got some sleep in the end - I can truly sympathise about broken nights sleep

Lots of people have used controlled crying and their kids have slept, but if it kills you and is upsetting your son perhaps look into trying other approaches. Parents here have used other methods like hugs and reassurance to get their kids to sleep better. Here is a thread with some other ideas if you are finding the current method to hard.

this

here is another thread to give you more perspectives

this

some people have used cranial oesopathy with good results fot sleeping

Thanks Papillon - v interesting links some inspiration! - I should say I am not doing controlled crying - we are simply returning ds to bed every time he gets up and crys - then leaving the room (to just outside) - this is being repeated till he falls asleep(after a lot of crying and protests). We start by doing normal bedtime routine stories hugs etc.but up until last week we stayed in his room until he feel asleep - studiously ignoring him no eye contact etc. this was ok at bedtime but he started to wake during the night so dh or i would find ourselves crawling quietly out of ds room several times a night or waking up on floor in ds room which was seriously unsatisfactory for us all and v bad for backs! ds has been brilliant adjusting to having his own room considering he went from co-sharing to his own room and proper bed at 19mo - he always drags us back to his room so he doesn't want to co-share anymore - just about what he is used to.

ds needs to learn to sleep on his own eventually i would have left it longer ideally but new baby has accelerated matters (which leaves me feeling guilty - but hey add it too the list!).

I think changing our approach after 5 days would most likely confuse matters further - ds doesn't seem traumatised in am - he hasn't woken much during nights - so once he gets to sleep he is sleeping well. I would love to know how long people have taken with similar methods to this before seeing an improvement.
HOTT makes it look so easy!

I changed my Dds sleep routine last night.
She was addicted to her bottle and would need it to fall asleep, sometimes she would wake for a bottle 3 times a night.
She is 26months. Last night we put her into a bed and she threw her bottles in the bin. She had her milk from a cup downstairs, then went up, i stayed upstairs expecting to do numerous trips to her room, but i didnt hear a peep.
Untill.. 4.15am, she wakes so needs her bottle to get back to sleep, she was up untill 6.30 screaming, kicking, being taken back to bed!

Ican only hope that tonight and tommorrow morning are a bit easier! Good luck.

Hi hettytucker

Than ks for the explanation about co-sleeping etc, we are co-sleepers too, good to know where you are coming from re sleep philosophies

You might think to start another thread if you still are having issues... with a title including co-sleeping and sleep training... would attract heaps more people with similar backgrounds.

Good to hear you are sticking with things rather than trying something new. Changing the goal posts does confuse them.

Have you explained to him about going to bed and talked to him about it?

my wife's nipples are leaking what should i do??