Did you feel ready when you TTC no 2??

[AlmondFrangipani]

Random question but need some reassurance I guess. We have an 8 month old DS and due to a medical condition have been advised not to leave it too long to have a 2nd. So we are going to start trying next month. I had a tough pregnancy and birth followed by a baby who couldn't breast feed and had terrible reflux. He also didn't sleep. It's only in the last month that things have settled down and we have a routine, sleep and a cheerful little boy. I'm finally enjoying being a Mum and I guess I'm worried about being pregnant again. I know it could take awhile to conceive but not sure I feel ready!! Anyone else wing it and it was ok?

We

Oops

We were, well, in the throes! And decided to ttc #2. Next day we had a chat and decided to officially start ttc, and got pregnant one of those two nights!

You never feel ready - go for it! I almost found it harder to decide to go for the second than for the first, but I wanted a small gap so I just got on with it (2 years between mine). Best decision I ever made? Good luck.

Good point Hummingbird - I also got pregnant first go!

No, we waited. Our ds was about 4 when I felt ready.
Unfortunately, it took until he was 10 to get number 2.

For 1 million reasons there was no way I could have even considered ttc #2 when ds1 was 8 months old.

Given your medical reasons, you need to weigh up the risks & make the decision based on that. If you had no problem conceiving your first child, then all the best for number 2, the torture of ttc year after year after year cannot be put into words.
Avoid if you can, just do it.
Good luck.

Thanks for the reassurances!! I had a miscarriage before having my DS so I guess that fear is in my mind too. I guess knowing the reality of the risks makes it harder than the first time around!!

Me too Almond. I think once you've had a miscarriage that fear never leaves you, but you've got DS so every reason to think positive.

I remember peeking into ds's room at 1am when I was about to go to hospital to have dd. ds was 22mo, fast asleep in bed looking so angelic. I just thought ' oh god, what have I done?' But it was fine. You just deal with it. Small gaps are hard up front but less so as they get older so its a case of paying it forward.

Our DS1 sounds a lot like your son - took us weeks to sort BF, he thought sleep was for the weak and was thoroughly miserable for the first few months (in retrospect, suspect he had silent reflux). I also believe I had undiagnosed PND and found things very, very tough for the first 8 - 10 months. However....

DS1 is now 22 months....and DS2 is now 6 weeks!

Just before DS1 turned 1, we decided we wanted number two and so while not specifically TTC we decided to leave it to fate. Fate decided DS2 was to be conceived that month!

For me, it wasn't so much a case of feeling 'ready' but I'd always known I'd want a second (at least) and with me being older (late thirties) I kind of took the view that we might as well just get on with it - things were so hard with DS1 I didn't think it could be any worse with DS2. Fortunately, I was right and DS2 is an absolute star - BF straight off, sleeps like a good 'un and other than having terrible trapped wind and therefore chucking up a lot, is a 'textbook' baby. To be honest, comparing this time round to last time is like night and day - I didn't realise you could actually enjoy babies!

Go for it, it'll be fine!

I started to feel ready when dc1 was 6 months, having not done so at all previously but always planned an 18 month gap. Started TTC at 9 months, conceived straight away. It all worked out brilliantly. I don't understand why people leave it longer but I realise I'm in the minority there! I'd get on with it if I were you though, I know quite a few people who regret not trying for a second straight away, it gets harder and harder. Best of luck.

Em… alternativemoniker53 … finances, career paths, housing, having had a tough time with DC1 - all fairly valid reasons not to try for DC2 straight away

Saying in a blanket way that it gets harder and harder to have DC2 is just factually incorrect, it may be true for some, but not those lucky enough to have normal fertility.

A very small age gap can be extremely tough, and also is not what nature intended; historically, extended breastfeeding would have imposed natural gaps of at least 2 years between children (end of rant !)

I wanted a fairly small gap, we started TTC but only kind of in a 'lets see what happens' way. When it didn't happen for a couple of months or so I started to worry but then when it did I cried and felt like I wasn't ready and we should have waited. By the time she was born I was just happy and excited and now can't imagine life without her. We have a 2 year gap.

Not at all! DS was nearly 3 as well. It was fine once he was here though, notwithstanding the horrendous pregnancy.

I am currently ttc number 2. Just started this month. Dd is 1. My family think i m mad, however i am deffo an all or nothing kinda girl, and would rather do this whole baby phase in one big go!