over bearing parenting

[sunshine1991]

Hey my mum said something to me that made my think when does it become to much .
I didnt have much of a childhood dad.money.house probs and cos of that am aiming to give my dd 15 months the best one ever . I dont like swearing infont of her i dont let her watch tv when she needs me she had me no matter what i tell her i love her at every chance u get i broke her fave toy and cryed surely thatd ok ?

Well, what you've described is reasonably normal parenting - not over the top at all.

• not swearing in front of a 15 month old is completely reasonable, normal, correct etc. Swearing in front of a toddler is bad parenting full stop.

• not watching TV. There is some evidence that TV watching for under 2s can cause a variety of issues. So it's not unreasonable to have no TV for a 15 month old. The majority of people do seem to let their under 2s watch TV but that doesn't mean you're being over the top by restricting it.

• being there for her. Again, normal and good parenting! In my opinion, if a 15 month old needs hugs, reassurance etc then it is appropriate to give it. Same with telling her you love her. The more you give them when they are little, the more confident they will be when they are older.

• crying when you've broken her toy. Well, probably not something I would do, although I would feel sad about it. I wouldn't make a fuss in front of my child though, as it may draw more attention to it than it needs. It can be good for small children to learn that things sometimes break, but it's not the end of the world. I would probably replace it if I could, but if not, I would emphasise "never mind" and move on from it. No need to beat yourself up about it as accidents happen.

You should parent the way you feel comfortable with, and don't let what your mum says affect you. Maybe find some books/websites about approaches to parenting to see if you can reassure yourself that you are doing the right thing. Perhaps even go to some parenting classes (often run by family centres) to get some outside perspective on what's normal and what is abnormal.