New baby = anxiety about eldest!

[findingherfeet]

My little boy is nearly six weeks old and my daughter is 2....

I hold my hands up, my girl has very much been my PFB, she's been my world since her birth.

I've always felt anxious about her from the moment she was born,worrying about her well being and happiness and doubting myself but I think this is probably in my nature as a worrier.

Anyway, my beautiful boy is here and I love him in such an easy way, perhaps because I'm so much more relaxed second time round, far less intense.

I'm finding that I'm feeling so guilty about my little girl now, am I doing enough with her, is she happy, feeling loved etc etc

I'm exhausted and hormonal (!) so this doesn't help but I'm worried...she's actually fine with the arrival of her brother, very accepting but I feel dreadful when we just sit down to read a book for example and he starts crying and she can't hear the story or when I have to go to him first, she said this morning 'I'm crying too!'

Then I feel even more guilty that I'm not really worried at all about my baby boy (he's fine!)

Is this normal?? Will I chill out soon as just enjoy them together? Urgh

I'm in an almost identical situation except DD1 hasn't been fine with it and her behaviour has been really challenging plus lots of demands for attention and regression in sleep and potty training.
I think guilt goes with the territory. Especially when people like to jump in with their opinions on who is being neglected. I console myself with the belief that it will get easier for me and more enjoyable for them once DD2 is more interactive and fun.
My childhood would have been so much less fun without my sister.

I have a nearly 3 yo and a 14 month old and remember being in tears over this when DD2 was tiny. So yes I think it's normal and yes it did go away.

Things I found helped were to have some time just with DD1 on a Saturday if possible - DH used to sit on the side of the pool with baby DD2 while I took DD1 swimming. Also, if DD2 was only crying a little, I would sometimes make a big deal of finishing playing/reading with DD1 before going to her. As DD2 got older the guilt and worry went away and I can't really remember what it's like to just have one now. It just took time to get used to having a new arrival and settle as a family.

Thank you both, I'm so relieved it's not just me having felt like this, haven't said it out loud in case I sound a bit OTT and soppy!

I'd definitely like to do more activities just with DD, my hubs and mum do a lot with her and she goes to nursery two mornings a week but I feel I'm just ferrying her about and dealing with the practical day to day stuff and not the fun bits.

I fear life won't be so calm once DS is mobile and interacting (ie nicking DDs toys) she's a terror when it comes to sharing! This is when I think the nightmare behaviour will arrive but hey! You are right, my childhood wouldn't have been as fun without my sibling either (hadn't thought of it that way)