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Original poster

If you work pt do you always go to babygroups on day off?

24 replies

SquidgersMummy · 09/04/2014 12:11

I work part-time, the days I work my dd goes to a CM and always to toddler groups on those days. On my days off we do little trips out, make stuff at home, walks etc but mainly play together. I think some down time is normal and good but my CM is that we don't see her at toddler groups on those days....I think it's where we live, it's the same people everyday at the diff groups and it seems to be an all or nothing thing - so if you work people do go on their days off. Personally I think interaction with your children is good rather than just sending them off to play My time at home is precious, I don't want to spend it making small talk with other mums. Don't get me wrong I just need to prioritise?? I think my CM thinks it's putting my dd at a disadvantage as it's less social interaction with other kids. Anyway just wondered what everyone else thinks. X

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ikeaismylocal · 09/04/2014 12:33

I study part time and yes I do go to groups on my days with ds. We both love the groups and there is plenty of time to interact with him and solely him in the evenings,mornings and weekends.

I think I'd struggle to be ds's sole entertainment for 12 straight hours.

Cakecrumbsinmybra · 09/04/2014 12:38

Just ignore your CM - its completely up to you what you do with your DC!!

stargirl1701 · 09/04/2014 12:42

Yes. I work Thurs/Fri. On Monday we go to Bouncearound, Tuesday is Rhymetime and Wednesday is swim class.

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iamusuallybeingunreasonable · 09/04/2014 12:44

Watching with interest as I'm just starting mat leave with no 2, and plan to have dd 2 days a week at home, I don't intend on going play group crazy on these days as I'm quite looking forward to spending time with her, but friends have pulled their faces when I have brushed off their invites to this group or that group, they do one in the morning and one in the afternoon every day!!! I can't do that with two kids to consider, a house to run, on zero sleep, food to prepare, washing to do, but that's my choice!!

Original poster

SquidgersMummy · 09/04/2014 12:54

Can I just say I used to do baby sensory and baby massage and swimming when I was on mat leave but sadly once they are bigger round here all there is in the genetic playgroup in hall when the cd can play, do craft, have a snack and a song at the end. Lovely etc but not about interacting with them. The role of the mother at these groups is to sit at the edge of the room drinking coffee, chatting and looking at your phone....I'd love something more interactive . Playgroups are not equal. Some are brilliant, all of course provide social interaction but lots of them are taken as a break for the adults?? AIBU???

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Mutley77 · 09/04/2014 13:05

I'm sure my baby DD would much prefer me to entertain her solidly but I would go stir crazy! I really only cope with being at home due to regular activities eg swimming, playgroup, coffee dates etc. But IMO you are totally right - assuming you are not constantly leaving her to her own devices while you MN or sitting her in front of the TV for hours at a time.

BTW even if you were doing either of the latter that is your choice and isn't necessarily wrong, but my point is that it is probably better for a young child to be one on one with an interested and motivated caregiver than sent off to play with other kids while the caregiver chats!

Mutley77 · 09/04/2014 13:10

PS if you're interested in other groups does your local library do story / song time? Those are usually quite interactive, short and free!

MoragG · 09/04/2014 13:12

I work PT (3 days). On our days off DD1 (4) has a gymnastics class one afternoon and then we usually go swimming after that (along with DD2 who is 1). One my other day off they both have a music class. We often see the grandparents on both days too. I probably wouldn't go to a playgroup or baby group on my days off (they do enough 'socialising' at nursery!), but like to have a bit of structure to the day, and it allows the DDs to continue with activities they started when I was on mat leave.

gorionine · 09/04/2014 13:15

In my experience as an ex toddler group leader, these groups are for children to see other children but mainly for the mother to socialise as it can be very alienating to stay home with a child constantly. In your case, you do work part time so one can assume you get to talk to other grown ups and your child being at the childminder's get time with other children too. You are the only person who should decide if you desire or not to carry on going to toddler groups. Do not let yourself get forced into it half hartedly if you are happy with the way you have managed your time so far.

gorionine · 09/04/2014 13:16

hearted even!

tethersend · 09/04/2014 13:16

No way.

Three days a week, DD goes to groups with the CM.

I rejoice in the fact that this means I don't have to go on my days off.

unintentionalthreadkiller · 09/04/2014 13:18

I work Monday to Wednesday. Thursday I go to a bounce and rhyme session at DTs insistence. Fridays we hang out.

I HATE toddler groups.

nappyaddict · 09/04/2014 13:19

Have a look for Tinytalk, Sing and sign, music groups, messy play groups, toddler yoga. They were all interactive groups we used to go to. Children's centres are usually good for things like that too.

unintentionalthreadkiller · 09/04/2014 13:19

Oh, they do do a ballet class on Friday am but that's not the same as I don't actually have to talk to anyone:)

Chunderella · 09/04/2014 13:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LilyBobtail · 09/04/2014 13:24

I am in a similar situation with one day off a week and a DS who goes to nursery four days a week. Our day off together is for us to spend time together. I think he gets plenty of socialisation at nursery. Most weeks we meet with friends who have children his age, or go out on mummy and DS days out to farms and parks and that sort of thing. We did a baby group together but some of the other mums were awful and I felt like I was spending my day off with people I didn't like for no good reason. We also have a lovely nap together most weeks!

Aworryingtrend · 09/04/2014 13:25

No, since going back to work my one on one time with DS seems more precious so I don't do any baby groups on my days off although once every two weeks we meet friends from NCT/other friends with toddlers same age at soft play or for lunch.

Tweasels · 09/04/2014 13:28

You don't actually ever have to take your children to baby groups. It's not a compulsory part of parenting. You should do whatever you are happiest and most comfortable with.

dailyscoop · 09/04/2014 13:30

Nope.

I see my days off as time to catch up with housework (whilst they nap) and run errands. So DC has 2 fairly quiet days at home with short trips out to do the school run, go to the shops or whatever. We may go to the park if it's nice.

Weekends we go to see friends, or have trips out as a family.

IMO babies don't need to socialise every day. They don't actually play with other children until 2 or 3 anyway.

Baby & toddler groups are mainly for the benefit of the parents.

clairealfie · 09/04/2014 13:31

I work Wed-Fri, I like to have something planned on my days off as yes I think I would go a bit mad one on one. I don't do any toddler/play group things though. Monday is swimming, either at class or on our own during holiday time. Tuesday is a music class which is heavily interactive on my part as well as his.

If you plan walks, park visits, swimming, trips to the library then I don't think you need to do play groups.

AbneyorTeal · 09/04/2014 17:54

I don't work anymore, but when I was part-time I never went to that sort of playgroup on my days at home. I did the sort of things you do. Now I am home all the time I go to playgroup once a week and a singing class once a week. I certainly don't go every day. The one week I did, unplanned it just ended up that way, I nearly went insane.

blacktreaclecat · 09/04/2014 19:56

I work Monday and Tuesday. Wednesday we do a toddler fitness class and Friday we do playgroup. Thursday we do different things- see friends or grandparents, go swimming or to the library. It is a good balance. Even on Wednesday and Friday we have lots of time together the 2 of us to play and do stories, toddler fitness is 11-12 and playgroup is 10-11.30.

stopprocrastinating · 09/04/2014 20:35

I wish I could stay at home with DD (14 months) on my days off, but she is so lively, and so much work to entertain. Its so much easier to get out the door, and be given coffee and cake, and not have to be the only person interacting with DD. We always have an activity (either childgroup, swimming or park) in the morning.

Original poster

SquidgersMummy · 11/04/2014 18:16

Thanks all - been a busy week so only just time to reply now but I've been reading with interest all week. We're in a rural place in England so none of the lovely groups people have mentioned are available - very jealous - but it's reassuring to hear everyone's way is slightly different. We are moving soon so hoping there'll be more to do when we do, going to start having a google now xxx

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