Parental Burnout, advice for re-charging?

[MsAlbion]

(First ever post, pls forgive lack of abbreviations etc.) Looking for advice and practical ways to get myself out of a great big burnt-out SAHM rut. Feel completely drained of my caring side, keep finding myself staying out of rooms that the kids are in. Little respite as family not nearby and hubby works long hours. Not feeling sorry for myself, just wonder if others out there have been through similar and can give tips for getting back on track? Thanks for any advice!

Sorry, I work FT.
But could you try and revive old hobbies/interests?
A happy mummy means happy children, try putting yourself first?

I am on a thread called Easter renovators, a way of keeping in check looking after ourselves, do browse/join, see if it gives you any ideas?

Thanks Dilidali I will take a look! Feels like things fall apart at home whenever I try the putting myself first thing. But there must be a way!

I'd start with trying to ignore the guilt of things going down on the housekeeping front when you put yourself first. Tell yourself that you can address the house stuff once you feel recharged and then forget about it. As nice as it would be, I've grown to realise that I cannot do everything and stay invigorated. I have to prioritise and not worry when things slip a bit.

On an evening make sure you have as much 'me' time as possible, have a cut off point for housework and make sure that you stick to it. If you have the space, have an area that you only sit in when the kids are in bed and you are concentrating on yourself. Stay away from it during the day so that it's new for you in an evening. You could also try a few different activities with the children during the day; a different walk, playgroup etc. I'd also have set things that I have as 'go to' activities on different days, but structure really helps me to cope when I'm knackered. I'm not a SAHM but I work part time.

Think about the things that make you feel good! For me, if my nails are crap or if my hair is limp then I feel down about myself, if I feel uncomfortable in any way (dry skin, a bit chubby etc) then I'll spend my 'me' time dealing with it. I know these seems very appearance based but I have self esteem issues. The other thing that might help is joining an exercise class or something, I started Zumba just once a week ( when work allows!) and it's given me a lot more energy that I didn't know I had. I think sometimes it's just your outlook that can affect things and that's understandable if things begin to seem a bit mundane.

Don't worry that your caring side seems to have taken a hit, it would be the same for anything that you focused on throughout the day because we all get burnt out at some point. But you can fix it and recognise the signs next time.

Thanks PansOnFire for your ideas. Like the idea of a "me" place to sit. Definitely will be trying that tonight.

I have an adult drink once the children are in bed. Once upon a time this was a glass of wine, but I have acid reflux and had to limit all sorts of foods to help deal with it. Now I have a decaf coffee instead, and it feels as good as that glass of wine did. It is the ritual, the feeling of sign off for the day. I also knit in the evening, for me, and occasionally I make sure I get the chance to go out.

I am not a SAHM at the moment, I work a pt contract, however I will be again, as having DC3. The sheer tedium of it, the housework and so on is my main problem. DH also works long hours, then comes home late, then works some more when he gets home (he works with the US). He travels frequently too, so frequently get a little trapped in the evening, as I sometimes forget to buy something and cannot go to get it. It's often something essential, like milk for breakfast so very frustrating.

Have you considered doing a course of study? Perhaps an OU unit, or something that might help you go back to work (if you plan to). As your children get older, you will regain your life a bit more. Hope it all works out for you.

Hi another SAHM here and I think how you are feeling is totally normal every so often I feel exactly the same. I find the most important think is to get away from the house( and in all honesty the children!) I go for a walk, have lunch/ dinner with a friend, walk round the shops, go for a coffee with a magazine anything that makes me feel like a grown up again. My dp works a lot to but I book in with him sounds daft but I will say right 1-3 on sat I'm not here need to get out for a bit and I'm in such a better mood when I come back feel like I can breathe again.
I find that sometimes I just feel suffocated by it all and dp knows I need to have a couple of hours to myself. By kind to yourself it's bloody hard work! :)

I'm going to become a sahm soon, and have been worried about the same thing. A nursery visit gave me a few ideas though

My plan is to structure the week (basically steal front nursery style curriculum) and have set activities for set days, like Friday being baking day when we decide what to make, go to the shop /pick your own, make it, decorate it, show tonight daddy /Skype relatives, eat it. Or another day a library activity

I figure if I literally block out time, I'll hopefully be able to also block out me time, and have ds recognise both how much we've done and also that I need a break. Next up : finding the time to make the schedule

Course ds has to cooperate, but similar might help? If im way off please say, will help set my expectations better x

Wow. Thank you all for your thoughts, experiences and feedback. So grateful. What you have all reminded me is that a little perspective on life goes a long way, and I can see the triggers for a lack of that very thing in my life in recent months. Time to install a little take alongside the give and be ok with some resulting chaos along the way if that is what it takes. This morning was the first of our Easter holidays and pelting it down of course. I put my phone out of the way so I wouldn't be tempted to constantly check it, and instead I concentrated on making Easter cards with the kids. The dirty dishes stayed dirty till well after lunch, the sitting room looked like god knows what, the washing machine and vacuum cleaner stayed silent. We had fun, we made stuff and we all felt the benefits. This evening I watched 2 hours of telly non-stop, on a bit of the sofa that now says "reserved for me in the evenings". Bliss. I'm not good at making too many plans in advance, but I can see how that helps to maintain a routine so will try doing that for a couple of days a week too. Like the idea of some kind of course as well. That works on a number of levels. Thanks again for keeping me sane!