potty training - 3 weeks in...

[samnbabes]

Hello all

Advice on keeping up the momentum needed. DS is 2.5, and in big boy pants for 3 weeks now. Is mostly performing well , but we're still having 1/2 accidents a day - mostly, I suspect, when he's doing something & can't be arsed to go to the potty.

He's had a star chart, with a variety of stickers, but is not really interested in collecting his stickers any more... Am tempted to give up on the star chart, but don't want him to loose interest ... any ideas/suggestions ??

PS I am anal mum, and sweets-bribery not an option, poor thing has never had a sweet yet, and only had chocolate twice (not like his mum who had two bars last night )

Hi There,

You sound like you are in the same boat as me. DS is 2.7, and we are also 3 weeks in.

DS not interested in star chart now. We also started with the sweets bribery option - and to be honest he is now losing interest in this aswell.

No advice from me really - am interested to see what oter people can suggest.

Can I ask?
Do you still remind DS to go to potty? If so, how often?
Does he wear pullups when going out?

DS does sometimes take himself to potty, but I do find I am pestering him to go onto potty quite a lot still.

Thanks
Jenny

Hi My ds2 was 3 last week and we are 4 weeks into potty training. We seem to have conquered the wee side of things ( even going off on his own to do it "standing up - I'm a really big boy now") for the first time today. The poo side of things very unpredictable have steared clear of going down the pull ups route when going out as he didn't seem too bothered when him got them dirty. We have now bought v cheap pants ( tesco value £2 for 5 for eg) and if they get dirty I literally cut them off them with some nail scissors and dispose of them like a nappy. It seems to be working as he seems to realy dislike the feeling of soggy knickers!
All I would say is stick at it ds1 took 11 weeks to suss it out ( he was 3.7!!!!) but has only had 3 accidents in the last year and went dry at night immediately.

Jenny - no we've gone 'cold turkey' - pants only except at night - including his 'quiet time' upstairs in bed on his own (gulp). Have to admit though, that we haven't been out a lot over the last couple of weeks....

I'm reminding him when he's grabbing at his willy & wiggling (!) but he does tell us he needs to go most of the time, and, esp if he hasn't got his pants on, will take himself off on his own perhaps 1/2 x a day. I'm trying not to ask too often, as he got to the stage where he'd yell ' no THANK YOU' every time I asked - seemed to be better if he was more in charge.... plus less I feel less of a wee-nag ! I can also get him to go before we go anywhere - if he's told we can't go the park/shops unless he does a wee, he will always oblige. I've also invested in one of those portable pottys, which he loves, but has only had to use out once so far.

And syrup, not sure whether I wanted to know your '11 weeks' figure ... but agree that real pants seem to be better in giving those 'yuch, wet ain't nice' signals to the brain... Although standing up sounds like a whole 'nother challenge...

Hi Samnbabes, we're also about 3 weeks into potty training with dd 2.8. She goes for days without accidents, then will have a couple in one day - but thats with me prompting nearly every time. We are seeing progress, she is great at holding on when we're out - never had an accident on car journeys, or in buggy - and when prompted can say 'ok' or 'no' with reasonable accuracy re need. My feeling is that it just does take time, with some kids...maybe faster when they're older, but dd starts nursery in 3 weeks and they're not great on nappy-changing there.
She lost interest in stickers very fast, teeny dolly mixture sweet has helped much more - and she often forgets about them now, and of course i don't remind her. But tbh, I think her own pride in herself has had most impact - I'd go for loads of praise and let the chart go, if he's not interested.
ps how do you stop your ds springing you on the choccy bars?! I love the stuff, especially now I'm pregnant - but dd has eyes in the back of her head and chocolate radar, which is why I finally relented on the dolly mixture - its a good decoy

We are in a similar situation, dd is 2.2 and has had several completely dry days including her day nap! Am very proud! We put a panty liner in her pants if we are going out or for nap...just in case! Its working well...still feels like pants not a nappy, but stops there being a huge puddle on the floor of tescos in case of accidents!

But she had only pooed on potty once...she holds onto poo for her nappy at night,then poos, then we change it and she goes to bed. But I guess we can cope with this! So nice to be out of nappies.

Does everyone take the potty with them in the car and to trips out etc?

oh, forgot to say, we give a chockie button for a wee in the right place, but I think its her own pride then motivates her - she is so impressed with herself!

I'm slightly concerned about this, dd was clean in a few days really at age 2.2. But now I'm nearing starting for ds I don't feel very confident!
He has just turned 2 and he did pull his nappy off 2 wks ago to poo in potty but next day when I left him bare I had to clean up all over the place!! So we decided he wasn't ready yet.
Everyone seems to think boys are later than girls etc but my mother who potty trained my 3 older brothers says this is rubbish!! All her boys were clean between 18 mths - 2 yrs!!
Also please can people tell me what they call their childs potty, I used to call my dd's her toilet, because we thought it would make the transition easier to the "big toilet", again my mums opinion is that it should be potty.

Not sure it matters much, but we call the potty the potty and the toilet the toilet. And the small toilets at Mothercare/nursery etc the mini-toilet. I think dd rather likes having the choice!
Also, I think it just depends on the boy...my nephew was potty trained by 2.5, but my friend's ds wasn't ready at all at that age. According to one scientific relative of mine, its a motor skill thing like walking - tends to be genetic, and relates to how early/late a child walks and, more importantly, manages walking up and down stairs unaided. My dd didn't walk alone till 16 months, and is still a bit wobbly on some stairs at 2.8 yrs - and is just about ready now.

Well I'll add my bit here since I'm also three weeks in! Ds2 is 2.8 and in some ways doing really well - usually asks to go and can hold on for quite a while. However poos are a bit hit and miss and completely accident free days are rare. Also not too interested in stickers - smarties are better. But yes, we are hitting resistance to being asked and indifference to rewards as well. I think i am going to try my hardest to leave it to him as much as I can - because he has demonstrated that he can initiate it and I think with ds1 I was too much 'in control'. think they need to learn how to do it for themselves.
I would say ime not many boys are ready before two and a half.

Elibean, I'm not sure I'm convinced about bladder control being related to gross motor skills - I've certainly never heard that one before!
Ds1 was great on stairs at an early age and has been a nightmare with lots of relapses and accidents.

I am an "old" mum with 2 teenage boys and a much younger daughter. When I was toilet training my boys I made a point of inviting / visiting slightly older children to play. Mine were so keen to copy their friends that the whole thing was accomplished without too much fuss. Above all else I would say relax and don't worry. all children develop at different rates and it is really important not to make anything a big issue or turn it into a battleground. My daughter always wanted to do everything her big brothers could do, and once she got to grips with the anatomical differences it was fine!

Thanks for the advice, all - although Elibean, you've scared me rather as ds was a very late walker - prefered to sit still and tell me what to do, lol.

Was going really well today - everything in potty, went off on own to do it, and very cheerful ... then friends came round (with slightly older, super-toilet trained boy (good example, I thought...), and he promptly wee-ed, then pooed in pants (3rd poo of the day!!). Sigh. Too much distraction.
Have let him put stickers on if he wants, but not reminded him if not.
And I will continue to behave like a cheerleader and whoop with excitement every time - think he's more impressed by that than anything else.

Am almost tempted to introduce choc just to get a result , but suspect it'd just lead to some almighty tantrums at the only one rule!!

Good to know not everyone's kids gets this straight out - am hearing one to many 'toilet trained in an afternoon' stories at the minute...!

PS We call it potty - but with no thought, just cos it is !

Ah well, who knows I'm sure there are more than one or two factors involved in deciding which child potty trains when - all I know for sure is, they tend to do it when they're ready! Had a good day here, she initiated two pees and had no accidents today....its not a straight line, but we're definitely on the up. And she forgot to ask for sweeties, too

I think I may have messed up. I started training properly on Sat as we have had a couple of wees and poos in toilet so thought she was ready (nearly 2 and walked at one). but having had just one accident on the sunday and being told that she wanted wee wee followed by wees in toilet even in the park things seem to have taken a turn for the worse. she now freaks out at going to bed in a nappy and wakes up crying that she needs a wee more than once a night - she won't go in the bath cause it makes her feel like she wants a wee ( i think) she sits on the loo for ages and says its sore - i don't know what to do - have i opened a can of worms???

Ah, Zoec - we had some of this too - DS1 started waking in the night asking for his potty after a few days of toilet training too - he's not the greatest sleeper anyway, so we were not best pleased! We brought him his potty a couple of times,as he seemd so distraught and determined, but of course by then the moment was gone, and suspect we made it worse.
We just kept telling him that is was ok to wee in his nappy at night /that nappies were for night & big boy poants for day etc, and reinforced the message every morning when taking him out of anppy & before bed every night. After a couple of days of that, all back to normal. Can't help on the bath thing - he seems to save upa wee specially for the bath (nice!).