those with dc that reject daddy

[yawningmonster]

How involved is daddy? I wonder if ds is anti dad because he is not really a hands on dad. He does do important stuff like he is always at hospital appointments etc but he doesnt change nappies or get down and play with him completely focusing on him. He does do bath time/bed time a couple of times a week and will ask ds for cuddles etc. Are your dh's that are rejected hands on or hands off or does it not make a difference or do you have a fairly hands off dh with children that are absolutely smitten. Just interested really we are trying to encourage some one on one time between dh and ds and as I said dh is involved in bath and bed time at least some of the time.

My dd is a complete mummies girl but if I am not around she is fine with her daddy. DP usually does morning bath and dress and will do something with her in the evening after supper so I can clean up, so he is probably more hands on than your husband. But I think the 'mummy is best' thing is pretty standard (I am assuming your son is quite young - dd is 16 months).

thanks for reply...any other thoughts?

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Dd is completely Mummy's. Dh is very hands-on, has done bathtime (generally without me) since they were tiny. I put it down to the fact that when dd was born dh looked after ds while I concentrated on dd. In hindsight I think this was a mistake, as we ended up with ds accepting that he had to share me but rejecting me if dh was available and resenting having to share dh with anyone else, whereas dd accepted that she had to share me but rejected dh and anyone else if I was available. It's obvious that they both love and trust both of us, but that one of us is prefered over the other. I rebuilt my relationship with ds by regularly dedicating time to him while dd was at nursery one morning a week, and dh does his best to do the same sort of thing with dd. Also not pressuring the child to give kisses and cuddles etc to the 'less favoured' parent (or receive them), nor to choose that parent when the other is available, help.

I have a nearly 3 year old DS that rejects DH as of about 2 weeks ago. DH has always been very involved when he has been around, which at one point wasn't a lot with his last job. But the last few months he has been with DS loads (he now works from home) and it's only now he's started this phase. He did have a phase of wanting just DH but that wasn't as extreme as this current one of wanting me. Also, DD was a real Mummy's girl until DS turned up and DH had spent most of the time working from home then as well and was very involved. So in our house it seems like it doesn't make much difference how hands on/off DH is.

ok so far it is involved dh's anyone out there with a fairly hands off dh who their child favours or rejects?

bump

yours does more than mine.
he does nothing with him unless i specifically ask him to due to me being busy with something else but he is there for hospital etc like yours.
ds will 'settle' for dh but will drop him the moment i reappear.

thanks for answering 1b1b

DH is completely hands on, does bath time virtually every night and he and DS have a fab time playing silly games and have done since he was tiny - but DS will reject him and say No daddy go away . DS relates better to daddy if I am out - so have started going out for a couple of hours at the weekend to give them time just the 2 of them without me as an option for DS.

Makes me feel really sad to see DH's face when DS pushes him away. It has got better since we've been away on a 2 week holiday DH & DS played together lots.

thanks for that, I was hoping to hear that if I incouraged dh to be more involved then ds would reject him less, like you I need to get away from them for a couple of hours on a regular basis and let them build a relationship from there.