Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

Original poster

How long did you cry for after your baby was born?

24 replies

Writerwannabe83 · 03/04/2014 14:01

I know it is normal to feel hormonal after a new baby but how long is it considered ok to feel like this?

My baby is 13 days old today and I'm still having teary moments.

When he was born (via ELCS) I had a crap few days in hospital due to worries/ health issues with the baby and spent the whole of his 3rd day of life in tears.

When we came home I had lots of problems with establishing breast feeding and I would cry on maybe 2-3 separate occasions each day about this - feeling like I was a failure etc.

We had to take him to the doctors yesterday because he has an infected fingernail and he has been started on antibiotics - that made me cry too.

This morning I was worried about him in terms of his poor feeding and potential conjunctivitis and again I started crying a little.

My crying episodes last about a minute and my DH always manages to reassure me that it's ok to worry about DS and it's only natural to get upset if I think something is wrong.

When I saw a midwife the day after I was discharged from hospital she spoke to me briefly about PND and said that if I still got tearful a week after the baby was born then I must see my GP. I thought that was quite a small timescale? My baby is now almost 2 weeks old so should I be worried that I still feel tearful some days?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Artandco · 03/04/2014 14:03

I would maybe go to go. Don't think I cried at all tbh.

Are you trying to do too much? For two weeks myself, dh and baby all stayed in bed pretty much watching series, films, having skin to skin with baby, feeding, and ordered in food.

EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 03/04/2014 14:06

Don't worry, it is perfectly normal to feel teary. BUT - do you have someone you can talk to - Health Visitor, your partner/husband, good friend? Go to see your GP if you're worried, please do. My friend had post-natal depression which lasted for a long time. Do you have any practical support at the moment, your Mum or Mother-in-law maybe?

It is normal, don't worry, but ask for some help.

cakeymccakington · 03/04/2014 14:09

i think i was teary for quite a while after all 3 of mine (although i do have a history of depression anyway!)
i'd say what you're describing is within the realms of normal. I'm certainly more tearful in general after having children, i cry at things I wouldn't have in the past. and my youngest is 4!

having said all that I don't think it would do any harm to go and talk through how you're feeling with the GP or HV and see what they reckon.
and make sure you take care of yourself :)

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting

GiveTwoSheets · 03/04/2014 14:12

With my second I cried 24hrs after non stop til 6days after we left hospital but he was in sbcu.

Then I became tearful around about the 6weeks mark over the most stupidest things, for me think it was just over whelming of emotions, tiredness and sort of just finding my feet. Didnt feel sad or rubbish about anything just had random tearful moments

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 03/04/2014 14:13

The first year tbh.

matana · 03/04/2014 14:14

I was still emotional at 2 weeks, so much so that I asked dh to take another week off. Felt much more like myself by 3 weeks. Congratulations by the way!

TheLadyRadishes · 03/04/2014 14:14

I cried a lot with my first baby, and it went on for a few weeks, maybe 4-5 weeks? - though I do cry easily anyway. Evenings were the worst, cluster feeding and exhaustion meant I would break down in a snotty mess every evening about 8pm. (DP learned to hustle visitors out in good time!)

I think it's OK if you are just feeling easily moved to tears and feel better after you get it out. It really can take 6 weeks-ish to start to feel normal even if everything is going well.

But, if you're crying because you're constantly feeling anxious and unhappy, that might be more of a worry. It's worth discussing with your HV (if she is understanding and nice) or GP if you prefer, they will know what you are talking about IME.

Interestingly I did have PND with my second child and I did a lot less crying. I was more anxious, anal and unsociable. Of course it's different for everyone. But at 2 weeks, having already had to deal with a few issues - normal I would say.

shallweshop · 03/04/2014 14:16

When i had DD, i was extremely emotional. Day 3 was my worst when I just sobbed most of the day. I continued to be very emotional and teary for the first few weeks - i just couldnt believe that i had a healthy baby and i was so paranod about everything. The midwife did extend her home visits to keep an eye on me. I had a very stressful pregnancy after several miscarriages and I think that could have been why I felt the way I did. I think it was post-natal shock rather than depression.

With DS, I was fine. A bit emotional but much better.

rachyconks · 03/04/2014 14:17

For about 3 weeks on and off. I'm an emotional person though and was finding breast feeding tough going. It was definitely "baby blues" though and went away. I would def recommend seeing your HV or GP if you think it might be something more.

imme · 03/04/2014 14:17

I think it's normal to feel very teary when there are reasons to feel worried about the baby. With my first I was very teary because we had a very stressful first week with problems establishing breastfeeding so I was very emotional. Then at 18 days he had to have an emergency op which thankfully went ok but did come as quite a shock to us. I remember being very tearful for quite a while afterwards.
Do see your GP though if you feel it's out of proportion!

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 03/04/2014 14:17

There's a difference between feeling teary, having a cry then feeling better. Very different from crying because you are totally over whelmed and the days feel dark and you think things will never get better.

I think a week is ridiculous, perfectly normal to have hormonal baby blues, just keep an eye on yourself and pop to the doctor if you feel things are getting worse/overwhelmed.

A week after having ds I was so full of hormones and knackered I cried of I didn't have clean pajamas

shallweshop · 03/04/2014 14:19

I should have said, I think you sound normal and congratulations on the birth of your DS. X

DoINeedToPutMyShoesOn · 03/04/2014 14:19

I didn't cry at all. I remember feeling very down at about three weeks or so and got anxiety a few months later but this didn't translate into tears for me.

Sid77 · 03/04/2014 14:19

I felt hormonal for quite a while after DS1, around 6 weeks I think. I was happy enough when not crying, but very very emotional. I found the whole experience overwhelming and I'm not normally a crier. I hated not being in control of my emotions. I stopped crying when I felt more in control of things and got to know my baby and trust my judgement. I am absolutely not an expert but I would maybe give it a week or so, especially if your crying episodes only last a little while. If you still feel out of control - talk to your hv as they are trained to know what to look for in terms of PND. Interestingly, I had DS2 6 months ago and hardly cried at all.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 03/04/2014 14:20

I have also found that I an a much more emotional person in general after having ds,I used to be hard as nails and never cry at films etc, now I will cry watching Grey's Anatomy and ds is 12!

MrsRuffdiamond · 03/04/2014 14:22

I agree that having children generally makes you more emotional and prone to crying, anyway. I cry much more easily than I used to, and my youngest is nine!

You had a horrible time in hospital, and I'm assuming baby is your fb (congratulations, btw!), so it's going to take you both a while to get used to your new lives together. I think teary days are very usual this close to giving birth. Your DH sounds lovely and supportive, and I'm sure that you will be feeling less tearful and more confident about things soon.

If you continue to be worried about the way you're feeling over the next few weeks you can always speak to your HV, as previously suggested, but what you have described sounds perfectly normal to me.

ksrwr · 03/04/2014 14:26

it was the first 2 months for me... i found a new baby so difficult and i was so anxious. i would try not to stress yourself out by worrying about worrying! just accept it and remember, this too will pass.

Original poster

Writerwannabe83 · 03/04/2014 14:27

Thanks everyone, I am quite an anxious person by nature.

I certainly don't feel overwhelmed and I have a fantastic support system around me. My family are amazing and I can't put into words how much of a rock my DH has been, he's just wonderful.

I am absolutely besotted with the baby, he means everything to me and I can't believe how much I love him.

I spoke to my own community midwife about it a few days ago and she said she isn't worried about me and says my occasional tearful moments are perfectly understandable in such a short period of time following the birth.

It's just that other mid wife's comment that keeps coming back to haunt me, that tears after a week are a cause for concern.

OP posts:

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 03/04/2014 14:30

In that case completely ignore her and carry on you sound like you're doing fine! Considering they always used to say baby blues hit roughly 12 days after birth,I don't know what she's on about with a week

magicalmrmistoffelees · 03/04/2014 14:43

My DD is 20 weeks and I am still having teary episodes. I don't think it's PND, just exhaustion and generally being a bit overwhelmed! I think it's perfectly understandable to still be feeling teary after 13 days. However it may be worth chatting to your HV about any concerns you have.

mowmylawn · 03/04/2014 16:10

About six months here - never had PPD it was just hormones and feeling overwhelmed, no idea what I was doing, no support, etc. But it went away on its own, my health visitor was really supportive and never let on to me that there was any cause for concern. You go ahead and cry whenever you want to! As most things with babies/children, this too shall pass.

littlealien01 · 03/04/2014 16:38

I had a hard time breastfeeding and got mastitis twice so about 6 wks for me, wk 5 was the worst...think i came close to.spiralling into depression tho.

I do remember asking if youcould have baby blues on day 12 after spending much of the day in tears so id sayafew episodes at 13 days isnormal

Chocoholism · 03/04/2014 19:23

I felt 'bluesy' for a few weeks I remember and DD is 4 months now and despite not having periods back, a few days every few weeks I feel extra emotional, almost like a period without the period! Hormones are to blame In my case I think. Does help that I can talk to DP openly about it all. Best of luck and congrats x

louloutheshamed · 03/04/2014 19:45

My hv said she waits until 6 w to give the pnd questionnaire as if they gave it at 2 weeks, everyone would have it!

I think what you describe sounds normal tbh. I was on a high for a couple of days then had major weepiness around days 3-5 Both times. With ds1 I was v wobbly and anxious for about 5 weeks. With ds2 less so, but I had emcs so was physically harder. Also the first time I was crying for myself whereas second time I was crying for ds1 whose life had clearly been ruined by the arrival of his little brother . I didn't have pnd.

If it doesn't lift after another few weeks then I'd give gp a call but you sound normal to me

Flip