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Parenting

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Original poster

Life with two boys.....

10 replies

mrsmoscow · 31/03/2014 18:54

I have 2 sons. The eldest just turned 5 and is in reception and the youngest just turned 3.
The eldest has always been very active, confident, noisy and boisterous! He is always on the go and enjoys 'wrestling' type play with his dad. To be honest he wears me out.
Recently my little one has started to play with him a lot more and their play is very physical and quite rough. He does seem to enjoy it though but I feel all I ever do is break up fights. Mainly by getting cross with the eldest for being too rough.
Also walking anywhere they run off and climb on walls and do anything but walk alongside me. I get back from every school run with a hoarse voice from shouting 'stop' 'come back' etc!! I see other children walking next to their parents and wonder how they manage to get them to do that!
I just feel I get so little pleasure from being a mum at the moment. Will things get better? Or is life with 2 boys always hard

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cakeymccakington · 31/03/2014 18:58

i don't think it's necessarily a boy thing, some kids are just like that! i certainly was when i was little (and my big brother was always the one walking nicely)

embrace it! they love life! they love running and climbing and enjoying themselves and that's ok, it really is.

i mean, obv if they're being dangerous near roads and stuff it's not ok, but generally I'd let them just get on with it.

i have 3 sons and another due in 4 weeks!

Delphiniumsblue · 31/03/2014 19:11

Get them somewhere safe and exhaust them!

bloated1977 · 31/03/2014 19:11

I have 2 sons and the rule is no wrestling type games. You're sending out the message to your DS who is 3 that these type of games are the norm (its fine if you don't mind it) I sound like a know-it-all but just learnt from a couple of friends who had boys before me.

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Delphiniumsblue · 31/03/2014 19:18

Mine loved wrestling games, I couldn't stand them so I just left them to it and went in a different room.

littlecrystal · 31/03/2014 19:31

I have 2 boys, 5 (very soon to be 6) and 3.5 years old. The firstborn is very boisterous, fidgety, demanding, often Mr.Silly, tempered and often seems malignant (although I am sure he will grow out). The second-born would be a total sweatheart, but he tends to copy the firstborn and my heart breaks to see him copying the bad habits. I so wish there were born in opposite sequence.

To be honest I treat them a bit like puppies (in the good way) - they need to be taken out to a park every day and they gets treats for good behaviour. They do tend to run away when we are walking, and like you I seem to be the only mum with not behaved kids! (which is not true I am sure)

My best advice - work hard with the firstborn behaviour-wise and the brother will copy.

Another person said to me "They look such happy kids" and that's probably what matters most - them being happy.

Thesimplethings · 31/03/2014 19:36

I've got two boys. Aged 3 and 2, they are a delight on the whole but very hard work. Could be their ages but they certainly need exercise, the only time they play nicely is if they are worn out.

Meglet · 31/03/2014 19:37

I have a boy and a girl. They are exactly the same. Fighting, wrestling, running off etc.

I get quite upset watching other kids walk nicely, but they're all different. They're fine at school so I try and put it in perspective.

nooka · 31/03/2014 19:56

I've a boy and a girl and they can get very physical with each other sometimes but are also very close (which at 14 and 13 is pretty good I think, many of their friends seem to hate their siblings). My two are only 16mths apart, and dd who is the youngest has always been pretty much the same size as her brother (he is very slight and she is more solid) so I left them to it mostly, especially after observing that although she cried more and I might have imagined that ds had hit her it was far more often the other way around (ie she would hit him or pull his hair or something and then cry!).

I think that you are probably just at a bit of an exhausting age combo. I learned that the best thing for my sanity was not to worry too much and to relax about the small stuff, so if they run ahead so long as wasn't unsafe I'd not shout after them, if the youngest isn't being seriously bashed and appears to be having fun then let them wrestle etc. Essentially pick your battles really and tell everyone how much you enjoy having 'independent' children if they start to look on you in a pitying sort of way :)

Also I've recently started to do a martial art with my son and have learned that fighting with him can really be quite fun

Original poster

mrsmoscow · 31/03/2014 21:58

Some great replies! Thank you for putting a smile back on my face and putting things into perspective! I think I need to accept my eldest is how he is and not try to try and change him.

Also it's good to hear its not just me who has to run after their kids on the school run!!

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doodledotmum · 01/04/2014 07:02

Me to - girl then boy. 4 and 2.5. Both terrors. We have to go out to to the park, swimming, bike rides to burn off energy - despite FT nursery / school. Very high energy levels but good at school / nursery. If the are stuck at home they rough play and become destructive. And yes my DD is a horror for teaching brother bad things

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