Is this too much ??

[supafish]

My dd 23 is working and earning over £1200 per month. My dh and I have had 3 dreadful years of health probs and this has led to bad financial worries. I have asked ds to increase his rent from £200 to &300 a month and he has gone mad. Caused a huge row and I now feel dreadful .Aibu ???? What you your dc pay in rent ?

Spend 1/3, save 1/3 and 1/3 on living costs would be my advice.

It's ds !!!!! #bitstressed

What does he get included? Food? Washing? I'd say 20-25% was fair depending if he has to buy food and contribute to bills on top

Ask him to look at how much his rent, bills and food would cost him if he moved out into his own flat or house-share, and then tell you if he still thinks he's getting a bad deal at home.

I guess he'd be hard pushed to find somewhere to rent that's cheaper than £300 per month. I don't think it's unreasonable. Or I guess he could find somewhere cheaper (and associated increased responsibilities for bills, shopping, cleaning) and move out.

23 is an adult IMO, and should be contributing to the house as an adult rather than a child.

Tell him of he doesn't like it he is free to live elsewhere. If its 300 'all in' then i think that's more than fair. Maybe he doesn't appreciate how much it actually costs to live? Have you tried breaking it down for him and explaining that he is still getting a very good deal?

Where abouts are you living? I believe in Northampton you can get a one bed flat for £400 PCM. Obviously there would then be all the bills on top. As pp stated, get him to add up what it would cost elsewhere and see if it's fair. If they can afford it, why not.

Tell him if it's not acceptable then he's welcome to look for somewhere else to live. Once he sees the real world he may back down.

Stick to your guns.

Reasonable amount but unreasonable of you to suddenly increase by 50percent with no notice. I know 23yr olds paying 3x this renting privately plus bills of course.

Perhaps compromise now but put a proper agreement in place that says you can increase again in xx months time by xx percent. In a normal tenancy it would say something like 'rent can increase on an annual basis by 5percent or in line with RPI, whichever is greater'.

Might sound a bit formal but at least you'll all know where you stand.

I don't think you are being unreasonable (except possibly as a PP says by increasing it by so much all at once) but a question it might be worth asking yourself is whether you could afford to lose the £200 he is currently paying you? If you do increase it he may very well move out.

Thanks all :)
Everything is included , food , washing , electricity etc. The rent is going up in 3 months not straight away , to get him used to the idea. We live in the south , a small flat costs at least £700 per month to rent. I'm drained and feel guilty by it all but hey he is an adult and needs to act like one. I'm determined to stick by my guns !

It sounds fine by me. I don't think he will move out as it would cost considerably more than that plus he would need to do his own cooking, shopping etc.

Everything is included in his rent. It will go up in 3 months not straight away. We are in the south , flats cost an average of £700 per month. Feel drained by it all tbh but sticking to my guns .

when DP lived at home he paid £300 pm. and so did his DB. That included washing and electric ETC Him and his DB , and myself didn't agree with it and thought it was too high as MIL was mortgage free, they paid for their own lunches and paid for the internet themselves. In your case though I think £300 is fair. He'd have a shock if he was to go out on his own.

DPs friend is 26, still lives at home , full time job and pays £20 a week....

Sounds perfectly reasonable. I paid similar when I lived with my parents (index linked obviously - it was a very long time ago!!)

DD pays £250 a month but in all honesty rarely eats at home. She buys all her own toiletries and does her own washing ,looks after her room and occasionally vacuums or empty dishwasher. But we can go all week without seeing her

Stick to your guns!!

Does he do anything for himself or the family? Cooking, cleaning etc?

Because price all that up for him too the entitled little manchild.