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Parenting

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Original poster

Any potty / toilet training experts out there, please?

20 replies

JonesTheSteam · 15/08/2006 20:01

DS (3 next month) is not potty trained yet.

Have been trying to get him interested in it. Have been encouraging him to tell me when he has a dirty nappy (poo) but he will only tell me when prompted. Has never really volunteered the information. Has never told me that his nappy is wet.

On the weekend I put pants on him, just to see what would happen. Tried putting him on the loo every 20 minutes or so. Nothing, and then he had an accident 5 minutes after every attempt. So gave up and decided that my gut-feeling was right - he just wasn't ready.

Today we had one of those disgusting pooey nappies where it sort of burst up his back as well (sorry if TMI!!) and after I had cleaned him up and showered him, I asked if he wanted to wee and put him on the loo. Success. Then again before we went to the park. Put him in pull-ups.

He had a wee in his pull-up while out, and didn't tell me. At my mum's he had two more successful wees, and then pooed and didn't tell me until I realised and asked him.

So - do you think he's ready? What would your advice be about where to go from here?

(Have done this once before with DD but she was over three (waited until after DS was born as she was ready just before he was born) and she took 72 hours with about three accidents.)

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Original poster

JonesTheSteam · 15/08/2006 20:16

Anyone, please?

OP posts:

Rosieglow · 15/08/2006 21:46

I'm certainly no potty training expert - more a training failure but feel free to learn from my mistakes!

My DS sounds very like yours - absolutely no interest & quite happy to play on in a pooey nappy. When he got to 3.5 I thought it was really time that he used a potty and we started trying. and trying and trying. Been trying for over 3 months now and got to the a stage where he will do a wee on the potty / toilet after some nagging / bribery but rarely says he needs to go hiself.

But he refuses to do poos in it. After 3 months of washing pooey nappies (and DS eats lots of fruit/veg/prunes etc so v. squitty horrible poos!) we have gone back to pullups.

During this time I have got really stressed, and really stressed with him as I was/am convinced that there was no good reason why he wouln't use the potty - it was just sometimes lazyness ("I don't care if I wee on the floor, you can just clean it up"), stropiness ("I'm going to wear nappies until I'm as big as Daddy") or attention seeking etc.

But all the stress and nagging has now made it a "big issue" so that we only have to ask him if he needs a poo for him to hold it in and refuse to go.

If I was starting again I think I would stay in pullups to start with but get him doing wees on the potty regularly (and ignoring any wet pull ups). And wait until he was happy doing the occasional poo on the potty before going to pants.

Good luck with whatever you decide & hope it goes well for you!

Original poster

JonesTheSteam · 16/08/2006 09:44

Thanks Rosieglow.

Well - one successful wee at ten last night (DD and DS are sleeping in a tent in her room, and she got up for a wee and he woke, so I put him on as well).

And one this morning.

He's really chuffed when he does a wee. Anyone else out there to offer advice?

TIA

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MarsLady · 16/08/2006 09:50

The only problem with pull ups is that they feel like nappies and so weeing and pooing in them is no different to them I think.

Cod... bless her cotton socks, is violently opposed to pull ups and the people who've followed her potty training threads have mostly been successful.

I actually agree with her on the pull ups front, however that's me.

I've managed to mostly successfully potty train my DTs. DT1 completely done, uses the potty, the toilet, very few accidents. DT2 uses the potty for wees, the garden for poos (sigh............) and has more accidents. However, as he would constantly pull his penis out of his nappy and wee anyway this is a definite improvement.

If you don't feel that your lo is ready then wait! It's what works with you and yours. But I think that if you are going to do it, no mixed messages. Decide your plan of action. Stay near home for the first few days, pop pants on him, use lots and lots of praise (sweets if you want to) and take him to the toilet every 30mins. Don't ask cos they mostly say no then pee all over the place. Take to the toilet before leaving the house, on arrival to wherever you've gone and again when leaving.

hth

Bozza · 16/08/2006 09:56

Personally I think it sounds like he is physically ready. I don't feel able to advise on the mental/psychological side because I trained both mine younger 2.2 and 2, and I think it is different t nearer 2 compared with nearer 3 IYSWIM. Mars gives good advice. Personally I would go for it, but I know others would say leave him to do it himself.

Kidstrack · 16/08/2006 09:59

not an expert but both my ds and dd trained in about 3days at age of 2yr 4m, i would say your ds is ready, this is only my opioion that worked for my two, but i would take your ds shopping for some big boys vest and pants (matching of course i.e bob the builder etc) and get some stickers for a chart, put him straight into big boy pants and he gets a sticker for the chart and for himself everytimes he uses the toilet/potty etc, when out take just the roll of stickers with you and a tommee tippee portable potty and spare pants and trousers! Good luck with whatever way you train just keep focused and lots of praise for your ds for being a big boy!

Original poster

JonesTheSteam · 16/08/2006 10:08

Right - have decided to try tomorrow with the pants thing.

Have a dentist appointment at 12.10 and really need to go shopping for a couple of food bits and pieces as well.

Might try this pm as he does seem to be ready.

Have already purchased some pants (in anticipation of trying this summer) - he helped me choose them.

Thanks everyone!

OP posts:

MarsLady · 16/08/2006 10:12

Good luck!

Raggydoll · 16/08/2006 10:32

If you think he's physically ready just do it... set a date and decide no more nappies (ever). This method worked for ds as it was less confusing and he only has 'pajama pants' (ie the new name for a nappy) at bedtime. Expect accidents and getting to the point where he asked to use the potty took ages... if it helps i totatlly advocate bribery, in fact poos on the potty cost me a small fortune at the start .

Original poster

JonesTheSteam · 17/08/2006 17:39

Hi everyone - thanks again for your advice. DS has done well so far.

Has been wearing pants since yesterday after lunch. Had two accidents yesterday (wee).

Had a very small accident again today.

Has done all poos and wees otherwise in the toilet.

I have been putting him on every 30 - 40 mins.

Am I right to feel chuffed so far, or is he lulling me into a false sense of security?

OP posts:

MarsLady · 17/08/2006 18:35

Fantastic! Keep on praising him, going overboard with the praise.

you may get a small regression (you may not) but carry on regardless.

Well done!

Original poster

JonesTheSteam · 17/08/2006 19:51

Thanks Mars!!

We had one more accident tonight - DS was standing in the lounge and DD yelled that he was weeing.

When I went in - he was stood there, looking most put out - I told him calmly to stop weeing, which he did, then put him on the potty and he finished his wee in there.

That can only be a good thing, right, the fact that he could control it, and realized what he was doing?

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CrocodileKate · 17/08/2006 20:01

He is doing brilliantly.

MarsLady · 18/08/2006 12:09

I wish DT2 would behave as well lol

It's fantastic. You'll be here in a couple of weeks boasting about how easy it is.

Yay DS..... go boy go! (but only in the potty or on the toilet.....snurk!)

Original poster

JonesTheSteam · 18/08/2006 13:23

LOL Mars - he's making up for the fact that I could quite happily murder DD at the moment - she's 5 going on 15 - so cheeky and argumentative!!!

Am counting down the days until she goes back to school, between gritted teeth!!!!

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MarsLady · 18/08/2006 18:13

Funny how much we look forward to the summer holidays and suddenly find ourselves looking forward to September with equal joy. lol

Original poster

JonesTheSteam · 19/08/2006 16:01

Right - Ds has had two accidents today (both poo).

Accident 1 - told us as soon as finished.

Accident 2 - told me while still doing it - finished on the loo.

Not too bad (I hope) - he hasn't once said that he needs a wee or a poo yet.

OP posts:

MarsLady · 20/08/2006 01:21

He's doing really well. You should be proud.

Original poster

JonesTheSteam · 21/08/2006 08:16

Thanks Mars.

We had a completely accident-free day yesterday - all wees in the toilet. No poo at all (Seeing as he did three the day before, not such a really!!!! )

Did his first standing-up wee this morning!!

Question - do I keep taking him to the loo, or should I now leave him and just ask if he needs the loo, or wait for him to tell me?

TIA

OP posts:

MarsLady · 21/08/2006 14:58

You can start asking and if he has accidents ask and take. Does that make sense?

Soon you'll find that he comes running over to tell you that he's been. Great day that! If only DT2.....sigh...................

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