Is the super soccer mum image a big act?

[daisydee43]

Hi

Just wanting some advice/reality check really.

I have dd2 and longing for more but I feel I need to be a fantastically organised 'soccer mum' but don't know how.

I work 22 hrs plus work from home a few hrs a week when dd is at home, I have dh who bless him is a 1950s man but it works for us, I do have a car now which is great, and I feel I don't want my days off with dd to be boring for her so often meet up with friends with kids.

I just feel overwhelmed and with the housework/laundry on top I have to get up latest 6am but am knackered by 9pm.

Dd is good sleeper and only wakes few times in night for a tuck in, am on several medications including thyroid, b12, vertigo and have had to start drinking red bull to keep going.

What's your average day with dc would love to know,

Thanks

is there a tv show that she will watch just to give you that time?

I wait till baby has a nap then ds1 (3) and I go into the bathroom and he plays while I have my shower. Then he helps me get dressed

OP I think waking a few times a night at 2 is poor sleeping! Could you ask your HV for advice on that?

If you don't have time to brush your hair I think somethig is
Going wrong. Could you put her in front of Cbeebies for half an hour and do hair / make up in the sitting room?

Oh yes, and I am always, always in bed by 10 and at least once a week I go at 8pm.

I think I need to be less soft on dd and try to get her to be less demanding so I can get dressed etc. dh took dd out this morning so I could get laundry done which was good. Think I need to cut down my hours I work from home, I don't know how people can work from home with dc full time

Cleaner who irons. Or ask Dh to help.

Turn dd's duvet round the other way and tuck in firmly under the mattress (assuming a single duvet).

Use beebies or iPad in the mornings for 5 min shower. This does not make you a bad mum!

Cut corners where you can - internet shop etc.

Lower expectations.

At least thats what i did. And for me, dc2 coming along has been a walk in the park compared to he culture shock of DC1!

They are my sunshine - what's your best corner cutters ? So far I do internet shop, dishwasher, no more chemical cloths, robot Hoover...

Hm, lower your expectations op, trying to fulfil this 'normal standard' based on assumptions of other people is so damaging.i say that from experience, I am a perfectionist at heart and its taken a long time to let the small things go.

Saying that, I'm not bothered by my appearance. Before school I was a perfectly coiffured, made up, stylish clothes kind of girl every day. Since having my dd (4) that has gone to pot. I now shower at night when dd in bed (cos I like long showers) and do all prep for the next day in the evening, when we wake up we have breakfast together, then I might have a very brief wash but tbh I mostly don't even wash my face or comb / do anything to my hair . Chuck on any clothes that are clean and pre selected night before.. Dd gets in uniform.. We brush teeth then go. Sometimes I brush her hair, sometimes not.

I do most housework as dp works long hours, but he always washes up and bathes dd.

The house could always look cleaner/neater, but I feel I keep on top of it pretty well.

It sounds like u maybe need a break op? Some nice pampering for yourself? Any chance u could get away for an evening for a massage and hotel stay on ur own? (Or whatever is relaxing to you)

Btw I'm a full time student (not slattern for no reason!)

I will share my day with you - 5 DC

5.30 wake - 20/30 mins on treadmill
6am - shower
6.10am - make packed lunches for OH and children
6.20am - breakfast with OH
6.40am - OH off to work
6.45am - dry hair, straighten, make up & teeth brushed
7am - wake children, put washing machine on and general child/school related stuff
7.40am - Drive to work
8am - at desk work through as like to finish earlier. Eat sandwich at desk for lunch while working
3pm - finish work
3.30pm - home!! Eldest child walks younger ones home so no school run
Cook dinner
Children's home work
Clubs (netball, rugby)
Feed horse and take out for a hack (approx an hour) if time permits
paperwork/filing etc for OH business
7pm - OH home, eat dinner
7.30pm - clear up/load dishwasher
8pm - Shower time for younger children
8.30pm - bed for younger children
9.30pm - bed for older children
10.30pm - bed for me and OH

In between I also have to do washing, ironing, cleaning bathrooms etc.

I'm knackered!!!

Karma - this is commendable! Is this every day or do you get time to do other things?

Daisy, this is every week day, I don't work weekends, but we do have netball/rugby/horse commitments on a Saturday. OH works Saturdays, Sundays we spend at home or do family things.

When it comes to showering and paying enough attention to your appearance that YOU feel confident and good about yourself, you need to make a decision to make this a priority. No matter what (teething, crying, etc) I have a shower in the morning before we come downstairs and put my hair and makeup on (I get up at 6am too, my husband looks after the children while I do this for 15 mins). I keep the house in good order because I cannot function if it is a mess. This means that my two DS ages 2 years and 1 year usually spend Monday hanging out at home and playing independently as I need to get the house organised. Tuesday we will often have play dates both morning and afternoon, Wednesday I do the food shopping with them (which they love so it is a morning out) and Wednesday afternoon we have a playdate. They go to a childminders on Thursday and Friday as I work (I run my own business) and Saturday DH looks after them all day while I work. Sunday is a family day. So yes, I work, have a clean house (I clean and do washing most days to keep on top of things) and look OK. However, my DSs do have to entertain themselves a lot and they do watch telly. I think it is just about balance and what works for you. As long as my children know I love them with every bone in my body, they have a balanced life of activity, quiet time and free play then they will be fine. The saying "happy Mum equals happy child" is so true. Decide what makes you feel good and structure your priorities around that foundation:-). PS it is OK for your child to have a day at home, this is not boring, it is life x.

i always used to go out with the kids pretty much every day when they were preschoolers, i chose that instead of housework as i never decided to stay at home to be a cleaner, but obv this made the house a bit messy!
you say you have a 1950s husband. are you a 1950s housewife? they didnt work 25 hours plus outside the home. get him cleaning!

did you check your b12 and thyroid btw?

Kiwikiss - thanks for posting, it was really useful to read that. I've decided I need to put myself first a bit more and it's worked out well this week. DD hasn't suffered and I've felt better for it x

Can I suggest that you swap the Red Bull for Berocca? Get the tablet form, as the effervescent contain aspartame. I guarantee that within a week you'll feel more upbeat and energised. Your wee will also be an interesting luminous yellow!