in laws with rotweiller

[babaloo2013]

hi just looking for some advice please if poss. quite a long one but hope someone can help. let me start by saying i love my husband very deeply and he is an excellent hands on daddy to our 12 week old son who is the light of our lives as first time parents. my issue is this- his parents have a very lively rotweiller and at first it was agreed that my baby could go round there with his daddy as long as the dog was in a seperate room with a baby gate on the door and the door closed. by the way this dog is a nightmare even my mother in law finds it annoying. it jumps up everywhere and is not at all chilled. Anyway basically the last time we went there my father in law let the dog in by mistake three times and since that point my mother in law has come
over to mine to see my son- this wasnt a result that incident of the dog coming in its just happened that way and i have beeen very relieved there has been no mention of my son going to the in laws. long story short my hubby wants to take him over there on friday and i am worried sick but he is insistant that he will keep the dog away. just to add here- my in laws are lovely people i just really dont want my son going there just in case. any ideas?

Oh - OP - baby gate - well dog can jump over that. Door - unless securely locked - dog can jump up at door and open most likely especially strong Rottie.

If my cats could open doors then so can a dog!

Your 3 big red flags are it jumps up everywhere and is not at all chilled and FIL letting dog in by mistake.

and I'm sure your inlaws are lovely yet if dog mauls or kills your son then no amount of loveliness will help then.

it is not just vicious dogs that have killed children - friendly family pets have bitten tiny babies and killed them.

Please do not ignore your instincts - they are not being responsible about keeping the dog away from a tiny baby and you have to put your chlds safety before anyone elses feelings.

Incidentally, before we get into breed-specific stuff, there are more Labrador bites every year than there are rottweiler bites. Implies it's the owners not the dog breed that matters. Just saying...

super that was what I'm trying to point out and sometimes no amount of trainers and nice owners help dog does what a dog does whether under provocation from child, instinct etc.

Your 12 week old baby - sorry, but why on earth does your dh want to take this risk? Why is he putting you in this position? He should be united with you on this I think. I would definitely put your foot down on this one, or at least go with them if that would help.

I'm sure he is trying to do a nice thing for his parents by continuing to visit, and thinking they can all reach a solution to protect the baby, but his father is not fully on board with it yet. Until he really, really is, then your dh needs to see that a forgetful grandpa, a large, boisterous dog and a new baby are not a good mix!

I agree with Gileswithachainsaw

I have DS who is 6 weeks and a labradoodle and he's nuts. He's had dog training sucessfully but the breed and nature of him is a silly breed. We are teaching him to be calmer but the only way we can do this is to allow him to spend time with the family.
He will never ever be left alone with DS. Even if he were calmer. I did not have a dog to be shut in the kitchen and I am confident that when my DS is toddling they will be firm friends.

I'm sorry I'm in the don't let him go camp. Dogs get jealous to . To many horror stories in the news to ignore. You can't rely on dog training by itself. They have their own minds.

That's what I find so sad doodle

That all these children being are denied the interaction with the dog. But what's sadder is that these dogs just aren't able to be around other people through owners not bothering to train, or looking after their exercise needs properly, or bothering to look into breeds and their requirements.

How long do people think they can keep it up for? Imagine getting to eight having never seen your grandmas dog. Taking family members dogs for wals was the highlight of any visits for me. I lived for those times when we went and I could play with the dog in the garden.

Obviously of course it's appropriate for dogs to be kept away sometimes. Children can't be left unsupervised with them. And sometimes they are just to small and unable to let nicely at that point.

But I do think that surely the end result that people would hope for with their pets is that they can be around their family. That a child can play cards at the table while the dogs with the grandad the other side of the room. Dogs and children need to learn to be around eachother. Dogs to be calm and respond to commands and the children to know how to pet nicely and walk away when told to.

What if you stay for a weekend? It's not realistic for the dog to be shut in one room or a crate the entire time. And I just don't know why someone would get a dog they cant control who can't be around their grand child at any point ever. What's the point. People need to be able to have visitors and the dog needs to be with people. It shouldn't have to b a "keep them away forever" situation.

My dog is less excitable the more im he is exposed to a situation. My husband grew up with dogs, I neve me did but wanted my children to. The bong between human and dog is amazing and my DS will enjoy his company as much as we will. Think of the fun, family walks, muddy puddles, getting knocked over when having snowball fights in the winter.

Yes dogs are different temperaments and hey all have it in them to kill - which is why I'd never leave them alone but surely supervised time together wouldn't be that bad? That said, if you don't want it for whatever reason you shouldn't have to explain yourself. Your baby your rules x

I'm all for dogs doodle, my parents have an unruly terrier cross that still jumps up the first 5 minutes that anyone enters the house and tries to get to my babies feet and has knocked over my 4 year old, and we don't lock her away. However, while she is strong and bloodyminded, she's entirely without aggression (has scared many a postman by running up to them and licking them...) and while I'd never leave any dog unsupervised with a young child, I have no problem with her being in the same room (my 4 year old and her adore each other) with my kids (when we're there) and once she's calm we let her say 'hello' to the baby.

But, she's just a random mongrel terrier cross, average sized, has been brought up with kids (DS1 and her are the same age and grew up together) and doesn't have a jaw with the bite pressure of a rottie.

I think owning a big dog without having it fully trained is idiotic in the extreme, but that appears to the be the situation, and given that, the idea of having a boisterous, excitable, untrained rottweiller in the same room as a baby is just asking for trouble. Remember that MIL was complaining she can't control the dog way before the baby turned up.

If that dog decides to get jealous because granny or grandad are making a fuss of the baby, who's going to stop it? Who's going to pry it's jaws from the babies head? Will they manage it in time?

What you and giles are discussing is how, in an ideal world, dogs and babies/children should be with each other, and I agree, but in this case, you have 2 people with a powerful dog that they can't control which will be a potential danger to their grandchild for many many years to come, if they can't control the dog without a baby in the room, what chance is there of them managing to do with a baby there? Would you risk your child? I certainly wouldn't.

Imagine getting to eight having never seen your grandmas dog.

whereas with well trained dogs and sensible owners the DCs can have plenty of healthy interaction.

Ideal world?

This is just how it was when I was growing up. All the dog owning friends and family I had, we were never sent flying by dogs. We were able to share rooms with the dogs quite happily just laid on the floor leaving the kids alone and only coming when called. They would just take themselves off to a quiet spot when they had had enough and we knew to not follow them. Or the owners would just say "bed" if there was someone who was uncomfortable around the dog,(although there was very rarely that senario as all these dogs were perfectly able to co exist ) and off they'd go.

I'm in my thirties and have never been in one of these houses where the dogs so crazy it can't be let out.

If only we knew what had changed on the last few years that all these dogs you hear about on mn were apparently the norm. Maybe then more could be done about it :(

giles I have also never been in a house with a dog that was so ill behaved it couldnt' be let out to socialise with those in the house (we had a dog that was so scared of people that it wouldn't want to socialise with new folk and we'd have to introduce them carefully, but that was so our dog wouldnt' get freaked out, not because he was dangerous).

However, clearly these houses do exist and by the sound of the OPs description her inlaws house is one of them. When I was growing up, people had mongrels, with the odd pedigree scattered about. There were no staffordshires, pitbulls, rotties where I lived, we had the odd doberman and GSD and they were owned by people who understood those dogs and had them well trained (generally, these households got doberman after doberman as it was a breed they loved and understood) these days people seem to pick a dog because they 'like the look' of it, or because they want to project an image, rather than on the dog they think will fit in with their family life.

Oh agreed that op is being sensible in not going.

I just find these ever increasing stories on her every saddening.

Pets are part of the family. We are supposed to love and look after them. They were often the best thing about visiting family. How did pets go from being part of a fun happy childhood to being something so many people on mn spend hours panicking about if a dog so much as farts in the general direction of their child. Something people refuse to visit people over.

It's just such a shame irresponsible owners like te ops in laws are so easily able to get hold of dogs that aren't suitable for their life styles.

It's just so saddening.

I agree giles it is sad.

My parents dog is certainly one of the biggest draws for my son in visiting my folks (they're quite elderly so not as 'hands on' as his other grandparents) he loves their dog, helping to feed her, accompanying her for walks, letting her lick his toes (they both have foot fetishes...) and she's not an ideal dog (their old dog who sadly died last year was much gentler and much more young child friendly).

We can't have a dog just now due to the hours me and DH work, and I am so pleased that my son has had regular access to a dog since he was born, I think it's incredibly important that kids have pets (hence we have two cats) and we'd love to have on, maybe once our youngest is at school and I can change my hours.

DH's parents are clean freaks and they don't really like animals so they never had pets at all, in fact hardly any of his family have so much as a cat - I think its a very sterile way to bring up kids (no way my kids were being brought up in a pet-free household).

My dd would love a dog. I would love a dog. But we don't because I don't want to be a crappy owner and right now that's what we'd be because we don't have time money or space for one.

And it just makes me so sad to see my dd around dogs and the joy on her face knowing we can't have one. And then reading about idiots who get one despite not being bothered about training or suitability. And instead of adding to the family it just divides it.

Giles - I agree with you up to a point down to training etc but everyone knows someone whose dog turns occasionally - maybe old age etc.

My nana had a toy poodle - It was yappy but friendly but when it got to old age it got increasingly growly and had an interaction - didn't bite but scared the postman. But it was fine around us kids. The vet just told my nana the aggression could be due to dementia - yes in dogs. It was also well trained.