I have a 5, almost 6 year old daughter, and I am becoming increasingly concerned about her behavior. She has always been a particularly active, energetic child. Even in preschool as a 3 year old her teacher described her as being "even more energetic than the boys" - stereotypes aside, she has always been the kid who is bouncing off the walls. I figured that she would eventually "calm down" as she matured, and if anything I was pleased that she was at least confident and outgoing.
But since she started Kindergarten (Reception, I think the UK equivalent is) in September, her "energy" seems to be a little out of control. She goes to a very small, Catholic school, and they are very on top of issues of discipline, which we appreciate, but it seems as though we are constantly getting little "FYI" emails about her "scuffles" at school. I don't mean physical fights, but she is quite easily frustrated, and she doesn't always remember to use her "kind words and hands" in dealing with it.
I think she tends to be quite "in your face" with other kids, which is not going down well at all. She often complains that the other girls in school try to exclude her from games, and honestly, I think I can see why they find her hard work. It's as though she's at an 11 and they're all at a 7...she needs to tone it down a few notches. I think what doesn't help is that the other girls in her class are particularly quiet, rather placid girls, so my daughter's high-energy seems even greater, iyswim. I am one of the Girl Scout leaders in her school and the contrast between most of these girls and my daughter, is quite marked. I have tried - repeatedly - to explain to her that some children really don't like to be around kids who are so energetic and loud, but it doesn't seem to register.
Today we had brunch out, just the four of us, and she was wonderful company. Very kind and empathetic to her little brother (one thing I am comforted by is that her teacher tells of me of her great capacity for kindness, and that she can be quite the "mother hen" with her classmates. Thank goodness she has some social skills) But this evening we had an early dinner with some friends and their children and frankly, it was embarrassing. All the kids were sitting quietly, eating, chatting and playing nicely. Except my daughter. Talking far too loud, shoving the other kids, ignoring my (constant) directions to quieten things down, etc. It's as though she feels compelled to be the center of attention, loudly, when she has an "audience".
I'm at a loss. I don't know if this is simply her temperament, or whether or not there could be something "wrong". I've been reading about ADHD and the like, but that doesn't seem to fit. Academically she is doing superbly, so I have no concerns on that score, but I know that I am losing my patience with her. Part of my issue is that the character traits that she is displaying as a child are ones that I find really unappealing in adults. I am rather introverted and I avoid loud, "center of attention" people like the plague, because I find them so draining. And my daughter is starting to have the same effect - she drains me. But I desperately want to help her. She is such a sweet-natured girl, but it gets lost in all the noise.
Does anyone else have a similarly-natured child? How did you help them bring it down from an 11 to an 8? All suggestions welcome...