I am a mother to 3 children aged 29, 23 and 15. My 30 year old son passed away 2 weeks ago on Tues after a few years of serious mental health issues. My late son, I was very close to but he made awful life choices and whatever my husband and I tried to do didn't help. He had a child with a woman who was battling drug addiction. He then was surprised when she ran off with my grandson and he ended up drinking himself into a suicidal state, needing a stay in hospital for almost 6 months. Our grandson will be 3 now and never heard from the mother since she took off.
His next girlfriend sounded a delight, a mixed up pregnant woman whose husband wanted to divorce her. From what he told me, she had her son and then couldn't make her mind up whether she's pregnant with his baby. Whilst this was going on, she threatened him with a knife and knocked him out. He refused to defend himself and contacted the police.
His last companion fiancee is still around living with us now, quite a sweet but completely mixed up teenaged kid. She's had a lot of male history and has 2 children of her own, one of which my son called his daughter and he loved a lot. She's pregnant to him now and I feel very worried for her as she really struggles to cope. She tries her best for her children but it is too difficult for her and she won't ask for help easily. Her oldest tiddly is approaching 4 and has severe disabilities. I have offered to adopt her, with her still being called mum but she often gets very upset and accuses me of trying to steal her baby. The genuine reason I'd adopt her is because I think they both deserve better, she was just 14 at her daughter's birth. She has a very strong bond for that child but not her bambino, who she really isn't close to. My son managed to keep this girl on the straight and narrow. Since his passing, she has been very heavily drinking. She is distraught at losing him and she's told me that her life isn't worth living anymore. I think part of that is dramatic teenaged nonsense.
My 23 y/o daughter isn't particularly bothered about my husband and I. She used to be in and out of the house but she doesn't bother to contact us any more unless she wants money. She acted indifferent when we received the news of our son's death.
My 29 y/o is a disgrace to us. He isn't the man we raised him to be. The less said about him the better. He treats us like we're enemies rather than family.
The only two I've really got is my mouthy pregnant 15 y/o and my late son's fiancee. Both of which drive me berserk most of the time. My y/o hates me most of the time and we have spoiled her too much because she was conceived after fertility problems, hence the 8 year gap. The only child who was a credit to our family was my late son who was kind, polite and sweet. His ex girlfriend keeps texting his phone, and his fiancee's, saying that she's sorted her head out and that my son wanted her and their likely fantasy baby.
On top of having to deal with feeling like a huge failure as a mother, my marriage is being put to the test. Husband doesn't want youngest daughter keeping the baby, or son's fiancee living with us. He thinks that we should report her to the children's social services if there is a worry with the tiddlies. We have been together for 31 years and I haven't felt like I am with the man I married a long time ago. The gap in our ages became apparent. Husband is 60 and I am in my late 40s. We spoke about divorce a couple of years ago but decided that it was too inconvenient at this stage of our lives.
Any words of wisdom would be appreciated. 