soooo....i gave in...just took my 1st anti-depressent :(

[strugglingmummy28]

choices were limited...that or i would have spiralled further dwn into depression n suicide....that's what happened to my dad n uncle n dnt wanna end up there....still feel like a failure tho that I couldn't keep it together...but this randomly crying in public has got to stop...its just bloody embarrassing! :( everyone I have ever loved as died or left me one way or another :( sad this life so many lonely ppl out there inc me n we all just pretend we are fine when inside the pan is unbearable....hope I cn get strong again 4 my babies xx

Hi struggling. first of all you haven't 'given in' you have taken control, and the first step to getting your life back on track. This is good.

What have you been prescribed?

struggling like sparkling said you have not given in, you have taken a hugely brave and positive step towards recovery because you care enough about your future and that of your babies to do so. I had severe PND with both my DC's and it a truly awful and cruel illness. Prozac, talking therapy and taking all offers of support from family got me through it. It doesn't last forever and you are on the journey to getting out the other side. Please take the anti'd's without guilt or a feeling of failing, and for as long as you think you need their support. Look after yourself xx

thank you just needed some1 to talk to :( fluoxetine...just hope they work because I can't carry on like this :( It's hard work this motherhood business and I feel I have nobody....I have no parents...what's left of my family are 300 miles away...my partners a fisherman although he left me when I was 37wks pregs n I bought a newborn bk to an empty house bt he's bk nw bt i'm still confused about the whole events of late...just don't know how my life got so crazzzy! I've got counselling on the 26th....seems ages away....wish I could do it all on my own...but I just can't :( why is everything such a struggle

Wow that is an awful lot to cope with. I struggled with way more support than you. Have you got www.familyfriends.uk.com/ near you - they definitely help people with PND especially single parents etc. I really feel for you, I know how bleak it all can feel and out of control when you are in the middle of it all. Hold on in there, the meds should help they just need a little time to start working xxx

I understand the feeling that you've failed, I felt the same when I finally gave in and filled the prescription my GP had gently insisted I take. But honestly, looking back I wish I'd started taking them earlier, because they did work and it was such a relief to get back to myself. I always felt like I should be able to cope, but then I think well if I had epilepsy or diabetes I would have to take medication and no amount of soldiering on regardless would ever help...why is depression any different, it's just another illness.

I hope they work for you, motherhood is terribly hard sometimes and there's absolutely no shame in taking help where you can get it x

Like it has been stated above, its the first step to gaining some control. If the ones you are on don't suit you there are other options, it isn't uncommon to try a few different types before settling. There is no shame in taking medication, sometimes it just allows you to take a step back and get a rest when things are tough.

If you can get some councelling I would recomend it! It really helped me.

My elder sister has been battling with depression on and off for a few years now, she has 3 DCs and is finding it increasingly difficult to handle her eldest 10yrs going on 20! Her husband just adds to the problem, he is far from being a good decent supportive husband and so this just adds to her stress. Some days she finds it hard to get out of bed, when she finally does she doesn't want to get out of the house and spends most of her time crying when she attends counselling. Thankfully her husband does as much as take the children to school. She's been taking anti-depressants, on and on off for years but they don't seem to work. She was recently referred to something called a Crisis House for a wk and she helped that worked a little. Could you try this option?

Victory comes with patience
Relief comes with Distress
and Ease with Hardship

Wishing you all the best.

thank you will ask my health visitor...I am so lonely and I am finding everything more difficult :( wish I could be superwoman but I can't. hurry up and kick in on the edge of a nervous breakdown here and got to hang on 4 2wks :( sinking

I really feel for you. Whats happening in 2 weeks? How old is your baby? Could you attend any support groups? Perhaps you could start attending your local children's centre with your little one its a good way to meet other mums and just to get out of the house.

About the Crisis House, my sister made a friend at hers, and now they meet up quite often for coffee, as one understands how the other's feeling and by helping each other they are helping themselves.

Please do post again and let us know what your HV suggested.

You're going through a bad phase but you WILL get through this. Time is a great healer. Chin up, stay strong.

Sending you hugs.

It's not giving in. If you fell out of a tree and had a broken leg it wouldn't be giving in to have a cast on it rather than just trying to walk on it.

The things that have happened to you are not physical,
like falling out of a tree, but they have caused your feelings of depression. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Something has happened to you and now you are taking steps to make yourself better. You should be proud.

Firstly, you are taking steps to get better, when we are ill everythng seems insurmountable, with depression part of it is that fog of hopelessness. It is not weak to get medication. The counselling will help. Try taking one hour, one day at a time.

Are you able to get out every day, see folk, maybe a children's playgroup at your community centre or church?

The Fishermen's Mission have welfare staff and volunteers in over 70 ports covering England, Scotland and Wales helping fishermen and their families.
www.fishermensmission.org.uk

There could be meet-ups you can go to in your local area either through Mumsnet or Netmums.

Do you mind me asking, if you are in two minds about your marriage, would you ever consider moving back to where the rest of your family live? You sound like you need extra help and that's nothing to be ashamed of. For now concentrate on getting well.

Are there any mother and baby groups locally you could go to - might be tricky to juggle your time if you've got 4 little ones but maybe worth investigating... It's a good excuse to get out of the house and a chance to talk to other mums.

It's totally normal to find motherhood tough. It's bloody hard work.

Good luck to you. And be kind you yourself

Well done you for taking a good positive step forward. Have you been offered any counselling? If not I would push your GP or health visitor for support with this.

I found getting myself to the stage where I felt able to ask for help was the hardest part, and you've done that, you've asked for help and you've made the first step on the road to getting better. Taking medication isn't giving in, its the opposite, you have been strong enough to ask for help. Like others have said if you had another illness you wouldn't hesitate in taking medication to make you feel better, and this us no different.

Being a parent with young children is hard enough even if you have loads of support in place and a supportive partner, you have been through an awful lot so its not surprising you're feeling so low.

I found lots of support on mumsnet when I was feeling really low, keep posting while you're waiting for your counselling to begin, it does often help just to type it all out.

Well done you- you have seen your problem and done something about it!

My dd went on AD's two years ago and it was like the whole family got their life back. She is now so much better that the drs are looking at phasing out the meds this spring. I am so proud of her!