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Parenting

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Original poster

Baby in the Bed

31 replies

Gerryd · 12/08/2006 08:34

Hi There,

Just reading that some of the mothers on this site have their baby sleep in their bed at night... surely this isnt worth the risk as 300 children a year die this way..

Any comments...

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

trinityrhino · 12/08/2006 08:35

where is this number that die come from??

Original poster

Gerryd · 12/08/2006 08:36

I got it from "This mornings" website who did a program on it a while back..

OP posts:

trinityrhino · 12/08/2006 08:40

oh right, not going to comment casue this is the kind of thread that ends up in an argument

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting

Original poster

Gerryd · 12/08/2006 08:44

Its also on the "Daily Mail" Website -

"Up to 300 babies a year die in the UK after being smothered by their sleeping monthers - according to a coroner"

not looking for an argument just a discussion.

OP posts:

misdee · 12/08/2006 08:56

i'm more at risk of dd3 smothering me. she keeps climbing on my head and falling asleep

no seriously, I am a very light sleeper, i have to be to cope with 3 kids on my own for the last 14months, and now keeping my ear open for my husbands beeps and clicks of heart machinary. I have never rolled onto my baby, she tends to sleep right up near my head. when she was tinier, i tried desperatly to get her to sleep in her cot, she goes off to sleep in her cot, but still wakes at 6am for a feed and she ends up in my bed then. its just me in a kingsize bed. i have her on the outside edge according to advice on here, she settled for a b/f then moves further up the bed.

Original poster

Gerryd · 12/08/2006 09:09

Yeh its so hard sometimes. Everyone has brought their little one into bed for a cuddle or a feed and drifted off .. you sound like your being very careful..

Im not preaching to anyone, its every mothers choice and i would never knock that. Us mums need to stick together!

OP posts:

hettytucker · 12/08/2006 09:22

i have a 4mo dd and 2 yo ds they were both asleep in parental bed this am! dd has a bedside cot which is placed next to our bed with side down, a very good investment if you are nervous about bed sharing - my dd however, hardly ever stays in it all night and she benefits from a mother who sleeps better as i am able to plug daughter on boob and still sleep. Statistics are very easy to manipulate and mislead i am sure that the 300 fig is correct but it doesn't explain the circumstances of each horrible incident. bedsharing should only be done if both parents do not smoke, drink, take drugs etc. you should not be obese or overtired and you must be careful about the bedding you use. I think that i and baby sleep better together - my toddler is better off in his own bed as he finds it impossible to stay still even when when asleep. but he was in with us until 19mo when he moved into a bed in his own room very happily. he still comes in to us in the am, a very reliable alarm clock.

nicnack2 · 12/08/2006 09:38

ds2 has shared a bed with us since he came home from the hospital. i didnt intend it that way but would start feeding him and fall asleep. with ds1 i was very strict and got up to feed and stayed awake. ds2 starts night in cot but allows ends up in our bed. I need my sleep!. also a great contrceptive!!

serenity · 12/08/2006 09:55

Neither me or DH smoke, drink or take drugs. Neither of us are particulary heavy sleepers, although DH soon learnt to sleep through a hungry baby crying in his ear

I always made sure the baby was positioned so that the chances of us rolling on them was minimal - baby would be high up the bed, touching the headboard, our pillows would be all the way to the edges (king size bed, so good 2ft gap in the middle) so our heads were baby belly level but baby had its own little 'oasis' in the middle.

I've never had any worries about co-sleeping, I think we were very low risk. I don't do anything to put my children in danger, and I doubt any other co-sleepers on here do either.

I don't know who are Gerryd but I would suggest you moderate the tone of your postings, as some people might find your OP a bit provocative. I am feeling quite mellow this morning and shall assume that you didn't intend it that way and I am being oversensitive

Quootiepie · 12/08/2006 10:00

I think if you follow the UNIcef guidleines and arent a heavy sleeper, smoker, drug user etc. etc., its acceptable. 300 may die in thier mothers bed, but how many are saved from death due to being close to their mothers? I wonder if this figure includes cotdeathm or directly related deaths to sleeping in parents bed. I sleep in a low level bed, duvet is low, my arm is up under the pillow sort of hugging it, my legs are curled a little and I wake at the smallest noise... Do you know if these figurs include cotdeath?

Quootiepie · 12/08/2006 10:01

also, co-sleeping only is safe when baby is only next to its mother... Dads dont apparently according to research have the same instincts, same with toddlers sleeping with babies.

Chandra · 12/08/2006 10:09

I think it also depends on the baby. DS was a very mobile baby, we tried to co sleep but it didn't work, just in his first week of life he found his way under the duvet, right to our feet twice. He kept rolling into the gap between the bedside cot and our bed. And the morning I woke up with him under my legs I called it a day, as I got really scared when I couldn't make him react.

Now, having him in his cot didn't stop the problem, we found him every morning with the legs dangling and he kept smashing his head against the bars. Now he is 3 years old, he falls out of bed one of every 3 nights.

So... I think co sleeping works for some, wish it had worked for us, but my baby was the perfect candidate to increase the "bad" statistics.

Quootiepie · 12/08/2006 10:12

Parental bed

The researchers found that although the number of deaths in the parental bed had fallen, the number of co-sleeping deaths on a sofa had increased fourfold in recent years.

Professor Fleming said: "Although the reasons for the rise in deaths when a parent sleeps with their infant on a sofa are unclear, we strongly recommend that parents avoid this sleeping environment."

The researchers also found for SIDS deaths the proportion of poorer families had risen from 47% to 74% and of maternal smoking during pregnancy from 57% to 86%.

Also, the proportion of premature babies among the deaths rose from 12% to 34% and of breastfed babies fell from 50% to 26%.

Professor Fleming added: "Our data clearly show that SIDS is now largely confined to deprived families and if we exclude deaths on sofas, the number of babies dying whilst in bed has fallen by 50% over the past 20 years."

Quootiepie · 12/08/2006 10:15

Thats from hope this link works

its from GMTV.

Quootiepie · 12/08/2006 10:15

aaaaaaaah, sorry, ive just done my 1st link

Nemo1977 · 12/08/2006 10:24

So being very overweight I shouldnt sleep with my kids??? I have occasionally bedshared with my little ones. I use a large breast feeding cushion to support me in bed as I get bad spd when pg. I then keep the cushion there so when I have baby if they are brought into the bed they are next to me but propped up on the cushion so they cant roll etc.

Quootiepie · 12/08/2006 10:28

nemo... id be more worried about baby suffocating in pillow.

Nemo1977 · 12/08/2006 10:36

they couldnt...hard to explain but they pretty much cant move

Quootiepie · 12/08/2006 10:36

oh right, sorry.

Original poster

Gerryd · 12/08/2006 11:42

I do not mean any harm by this posting and am not jugding anyone serenity

OP posts:

Original poster

Gerryd · 12/08/2006 11:46

Its just interesting to hear other peoples veiw points, i am a new mum ans tend to get carried away with advice and statistics - if i have learned anything since joining mumsnet it is to trust my own judgement and do what feels right

OP posts:

misdee · 12/08/2006 11:46

but you are judging a bit, sayign it isnt worth the risk.

more babies die in cots dont they? or have i got my figures wrong?

Original poster

Gerryd · 12/08/2006 11:48

Not jugding at all, its my opinion that its not worth the risk and i wouldnt do it thats all.

OP posts:

mummy2ashton · 12/08/2006 15:35

my ds sleeps in bed with us. when he was a newborn the midwives in the hosptial told me to keep him in bed with me as it was good for the breastfeeding relationship. however i didn't let him sleep in bed with me (once i was out of hospital) until he was 4 months old. bedsharing actually has many benefits if you do it correctly. it regulates babys breathing and body temperature, its good for breastfeeding, both mother and baby get more sleep this way. and where do you think the baby would prefer to sleep? in a cot on his own, or snuggled up with his favourite person?? my ds is now 18 months and still sleeps with me and dp. dp was re routed to the spare bed for a while when he was smaller, but now ds is more in danger of smothering us! not the other way around!

liquidclocks · 12/08/2006 16:54

I might have co-slept on an ongoing basis if DH hadn't been so against it and also DS snored! Having read all the advice I concluded it was just as safe as having baby in a cot next to you. It was lovely though the first few weeks having my precious LO right therenext to me. Now DS climbs into bed with me in the mornings when DH has gone to work and it's really nice.

Gerry - if you want to talk about 'risk' there are loads of things to consider and plenty of ways for mothers to reduce infant mortality without even going near the sleep issue eg smoking during pregnancy, getting tested for group strep b, I could go on and on, I'm sure you get the point.

I also would be cautious about believing statistics quoted as part of any media article as they can be used in a misleading way. There are some research studies where the evidence has pointed to a reduction in SIDS deaths when cosleeping - I assume these were not referred to.

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