Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

Original poster

Dummies

20 replies

Gerryd · 11/08/2006 11:58

Hi There,

New Mum here - just wondering why a lot of mums are so against their babies having dummies. My son is four months old and has had a dummy for the last few months. It has helped alot.. am i doing the wrong thing?

Any advice would be great

Thanks

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

lilymolly · 11/08/2006 12:33

hi dd has had dummy and is 7 months, hate using it every day, but only use it to get to sleep, and when I really have to shut her up! plan to go cold turkey when she is 1!
really interested to hear other peoples thoughts though

ja9 · 11/08/2006 12:51

i hate dummies too.

ds has had one since about 7 days old - he was a really sucky baby and would have fed on me all day long otherwise.

he is now almost 2 and still has it to sleep. i still hate it and hate that he has it, but recognise that it has made my life much easier in terms of how he sleeps. i believe that because of his dummy he is a fabulous sleeper, and will consistently sleep for 2 hrs in afternoon and almost 13 hrs at night in any location i.e. anybody's house, nursery, beach sun lounger etc.

since he was about 7 months his dummy has been for sleep only, and he has only has his dummy out of the house if we are out over sleep time. so he might have it in his buggy at his usual sleep time (lunch or after 7pm).

i still hate it ho' and hate that he has it. i think it looks ugly on babies over a certain age and also there's stigma attached to it. i hate to think that i'm a less than perfect mum!!!

i wouldn't say that i definitely wouldn't give it to my next child, but i would give it reluctantly and with a heavy heart...!

PrettyCandles · 11/08/2006 12:53

IME they're great, as long as the baby doesn't sleep with one. Used to satisfy the desire to suck when not hungry, used to settle to sleep (and then removed), used to ease colic - invaluable.

Weaned ds off his at 4m when he found his fingers. Cold-turkeyed dd off hers at 6m (forcing her as a result to find her thumb) because she was sleeping with it and waking each time it fell out - despite being able to sleep through the night.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting

Nemo1977 · 11/08/2006 12:55

ds had a dummy from 4 days old until he gave it up at 4mths.
DD is another case she had dummy from 3 days old and still has it at 8mths with me not forseeing getting it off her for a while. She doesnt have it as much in the day any more apart from to sleep or if she is upset. She loves her dummy and if she spies one will scream for it etc.

Nemo1977 · 11/08/2006 12:57

Agree with pc..I have always removed the dummy when they are asleep so dont get the waking up for the dummy scenario.

Imafairy · 11/08/2006 12:57

Don't know about everyone else, but for me personally I hate seeing any child who can walk (even a toddler) with a dummy, and as with anything, I guess the sooner you stop using it the easier it is. I weaned DS1 off his dummy when he was about 4 months, and plan on doing the same with DS2.
There's some official stuff here
Of course there is an opposing argument that at least you can take a dummy away, whereas if your child learns to suck their thumb (which you can't REALLY take away ) then that can have an even more negative impact on their teeth, so you could be damned if you do, damned if you don't!
As with all these things, do what you think is right, and welcome to the world of motherhood!

Bugsy2 · 11/08/2006 13:03

I think dummies are great, but there is alot of snobbery about them. Fortunately, I am posher than the Queen, so I didn't give a toss!!!
My dd had hers until she was 4. Fortunately, didn't retard her speech in anyway: early speaker & a massive chatterbox.
Her two front teeth were slightly pulled forwards by it, but they have gone back to the correct position in the 4 months since she gave all her dummies to the dummy fairy. (As verified by the dentist last week.)

ja9 · 11/08/2006 13:13

prettycandles, ds sleeps with his... the damage is done. if i were to use them next time round i would know to remove the dummy after child gets to sleep, but i didn't think to do that til it was too late. as it is, ds wakes in night, finds his dummy in bed and uses it to get himself back over... but i hate him being that dependent (having said that, i love my sleep more)

about thumb -sucking... my cousin had a baby about the same time as me, and when we went to visit new born baby she commented on my ds having a dummy and said hers would never be given one etc etc. i came away feeling until my mum pointed out the cheek of her - she sucked her thumb (with a horribly silky ribbon i might add) until she was married!!!!

QueenEagle · 11/08/2006 13:16

My first 4 kids all had dummies right from birth. Together with their noo-noo dummies signified the afternoon nap and bedtime. Totally magic in the way it seemed to send them to sleep almost instantly.

Only feel guilty if you let your child run around all day long with one stuck in their mouth. I really hate to see this and long to be able to whip offending ones out whenever I see them!

My 5th baby never took to a dummy but went to sleep fine with justa noo-noo. When he was about 13 months he suddenly decided he wanted a dummy and wants it all the time now.

wartywarthog · 11/08/2006 19:50

i don't like dummies, but they've been wonderful for my dd. she's nearly 6 months and has it to sleep. so easy to get her to sleep - just pop it in! and she knows it's sleep time too cos she's got it.

there was a new scientist article saying that there is no research to back up the argument that dummies cause orthodontic problems. so i will happily carry on letting her have it for quite a while longer. why not? she adores it!

lusciouslynda · 12/08/2006 00:06

My DD loved her dummy and so did we - it was the only way to get some sleep! People did make comments, SIL was always commenting on her "dirty dummy" even though her own kids still take bottles at ages 3 and 6!! Is that not worse?

This is how I see it - sucking gives some babies comfort. We all have things which give us comfort when we feel stressed so why deny a baby?

I had to wean DD off it totally when she was 3 on advice of dentist. There is a history of overbites in my family. I hated doing it as I felt so sorry for her. Although she did cope really well.

My DS is 3 months and has no interest in a dummy which I am glad of because I won't have to through the process of weaning him off it.

Gerryd, there's no such thing as the "wrong thing" - you just do what feels right and whatever gets you through the day!!

koshka1984 · 12/08/2006 00:09

i think i might be in trouble...baby has dummy but i hate the looks i get if hes out and has it when im preparing a bottle, looking at clothes when i really should be feeding (oops!)

but my DP is 26 and still sucks his thumb at night, though mostly when pissed....hopefully genetics wont follow!
(hed kill me if he found out id told you guys!)

shelley85 · 12/08/2006 00:11

just thought i'd say when i was younger my mum never gave me a dummy and i sucked my thumb, i needed braces because it pushed my teeth forward, my younger brother was givn a dummy and his teeth are perfectly straight, don't know if its all linked. My dd has a dummy, shes 18m, she only has it for sleep as now shes atarted to talk more i don't like the fact that the dummy hinders that but i swear she has a secret stash of them somewhere as she'll disappear for a few minutes and come back with one in her mouth.

lusciouslynda · 12/08/2006 00:21

My DD was such a chatterbox - she would take the dummy out to talk and then pop it back in again.
Her speech is really advanced for her age even though she was glued to her dummy for over 3 years.

Original poster

Gerryd · 12/08/2006 08:36

I think i wont be taking the dummy from my four month old son anytime soon! Its great for getting him to drift off to sleep (taken out once he is asleep) I think that alot of women just say that it "looks bad" but who cares if the child is content?

Dummies all the way!

OP posts:

honeyCHEld · 12/08/2006 10:52

GerryD, if it works, go for it. You're the boss. If you end up with a 3-year-old still using one, like I did, then you can take it away. It's no big deal. Good luck xx

eidsvold · 12/08/2006 10:56

we were anti dd1 having a dummy but dd2 had a dummy - dd1 never really took to them even though she needed to have one to keep her sucking going ( ng tube babe for 1st 8 weeks of her life)

Dd2 now 21 months just has it at night and when she is hurt or upset.

poopy · 12/08/2006 11:06

DD is 2 and a half and has a dummy at night and for naps. In fact she has 3 - one in her mouth and one in each hand
When she could sit up and play I started taking it away from her when she was playing so she is used to not having it during the day. I never take it out with me - unless we are going on a long car journey and I want her to sleep.
They will go to Santa at Christmas .
Better than thumb sucking IMHO.

softmusk · 12/08/2006 11:49

i dont think u are doing any thing wrong by giving ur baby a dummy u are just doing things ur way thats what good about dummies u have a choice

WideWebWitch · 12/08/2006 11:52

I think dummies are fab, both mine had them. Dd still has hers at night but not during the day, she's 2.8 and we'll get rid of it when she's ready. So Gerryd, I wouldn't worry about it.

Flip