How do you deal with screaming toddler and screaming baby? Feel like I'm losing my mind.

[TheNewShmoo]

DC2 is 15 weeks old and has always been fractious, but the last 2 weeks have been relentless. He crys practically non-stop all day long. Am trying everything- including cranial osteopathy on Friday just gone. My sweet 2.5 year old DC1 has been really good with him up until about a week ago.... I think she has finally snapped .... there's only so much crying you can take before you feel like you're losing the plot. Now she has started crying too and they both just set each other off. I don't know who to go to first as the one I put down just goes ballistic and reaches fever pitch. Today I just had one in each arm, staring blankly into space, whilst they both screamed. Me and DC1 covered in her wee as she wet herself as so upset. I feel so sorry for her.

I am fortunate and have lots of family help at bed/bath time, but there's the rest of the day to deal with, and my DH is not around at the moment (will be in 13 weeks time) so when it's just me with my one pair of hands how do I deal with them when they're both screaming??

DC2 is allergic to the car so unfortunately can't stick them in the car and go for a ride to calm them down. If he's too upset the pram/sling won't work either. I know DC1's crying is part of a larger problem of feeling neglected as I'm always tending to my crying DC2 . Feel like I'm sinking.

Hi OP, ranitidine took about five days to work for us, really hope it helps you. DC2 has silent reflux and is a chubber so our main symptom was also incessant screaming (which my DD found very hard to deal with). 0.4ml is quite a small dose though so don't be afraid to go back to GP if its not making any difference. DC2 is a hefty weight so that will affect it but we started out on 1.2ml (we had to have it prescribed by a peadiatrician in the end). Good luck.

It is. We went through the dosing levels on Ranitidine from 3 to 7 months before switching. Our GP would not prescribe omperazole so we had to wait for a consultant appt at the hospital. Ranitidine did work at 3/4 months though. DD stayed on meds until 12 months. We began reducing them at that point and she is meds free at 18 months.

Shmoo, 'twas not mine Someone here on MN suggested it. Bloody worked. GP was shocked. The screaming starts after 1oz. Watching it today, I can't believe we didn't realise how serious it was.

We are pg with DC2. I'm planning to pitch up to A&E at Ninewells hospital in Dundee and demanding to see a consultant if this one has it. No fucking way are we waiting on a list for 18 weeks again.

Glad to hear you're getting some answers. Fingers crossed it starts to improve. It must feel better just having some kind of reason for it and at least something positive you can do about it.

Just dropping in to say it took about 5 days for the ranitidine to kick in for us - then oh my lord it was a different baby! Fingers crossed this works for you. We never needed anything else just had to keep an eye for him getting grumpier again - then off to docs for increased dosage. All weaned off it by about 14 months.

I loathed the gaviscon, not worth it IMHO for a BF baby - really bunged little tea up and we were only giving half the dose

Took us two weeks on lanzaprazole to see a completely different baby.

OP I can't quite believe you're not me! I have a 15 week old screaming DS too and a 22 month old DD. And my husband is away for the next six weeks.

I thought it was colic but like you the 12 week mark came and went and he's still constantly crying. I think ill go back to the doc as well. The constant tears are soul destroying aren't they?

I find the hardest thing is (like you) my older DD is starting to suffer - she gets so little attention now that she is crying (and throwing tantrums) a lot. I feel like I'm always leaving one of them to cry; I hate it.

So no advice really, just wanted to let you know that you're not alone in suffering this. Hopefully we can both crack it and we our babies will be happier

Glad you got some help from your GP OP.

Gaviscon worked really well for my silent refluxy baby but we did have to wait while his eosophagus recovered for the crying to calm down properly. A good tip is to call the careline number on the box and check that they still say it's OK to mix it up with half the amount of liquid stated on the box (this makes it much easier to administer). I also found I had to give it earlier in the feed or it didn't work - so I would let ds feed a bit and then give him the Gaviscon - waiting until the end was a disaster (again I would suggest checking that's OK with the helpline - the woman I spoke to was lovely and agreed that if ds was clearly feeding well it was OK) We didn't have any problems with constipation either.

Anyway hope whichever meds you try do the trick asap.

GingerMaman- how old was your LO when prescribed lanzaprazole- and what went before?

Stargirl- 18 weeks?!! Horrendous. FX your newbie will escape it.

BlueSeashore- how much did your LO weigh when given 1.2ml? My DC2 is a bit of a porker and on the 75th centile for weight. How long do you think I should give it before asking for a review on the dose- 5 days? Really don't want to be hanging around on too low a dose on which DC2's oesophagus won't get a chance to recover. But have to start somewhere I suppose.

HaveTea- so the increased dosages kept working? Did your baby start crying again at feeds before you upped the dose?

ShoeWhore thanks for the tip about the phone line. Were you bottle or bfing?

Passtheeggs- that is uncanny! Do you think reflux could be the culprit? It's so tough, your DD is still so much a baby herself. I felt like my DD had to grow up over night.

I am astounded that 24 hrs ago I came on MN after having a horrific day with my two DCs, I needed to rant and I was looking for strategies to handle their behaviour- never occurred to me that I would be pointed in this direction and get to deal with the source of the problem. I love MN .

hi all, I just wanted to share my experience with silent reflux. my ds1 had it and like you we were convinced it was colic before the crying went way past 12 weeks. The doc gave us infant gaviscon initially but it just bunged him up. I was never given any other meds to try and instead was given Enfamil AR (anti reflux) which is a pre thickened formula. Obviously this may not be an option for you if you want to breastfeed but I can honestly say it was amazing. It changed my ds in just a couple of days. x

TheNewSchmoo I was bfing. What I did with the Gaviscon was once a day sterilise 2 baby bottles, a load of little medicine measuring cups and medicine spoons. I made up a day's worth of Gaviscon in one bottle (kept it in the fridge) and used the other to store the cups/spoons with lid screwed on tight. At feed time I used a cup to measure out the 5ml dose (think it was 5ml?) and then gave it to Ds on a spoon.

Def go outside. We have a year gap and that saved us. Screaming isn't as loud outside as cant bounce of the walls :)

Pop ds2 in sling and go for long walks with eldest. Usually the fresh air sends youngest to sleep, and makes eldest tired so they nap after lunch

Well done for getting ranitidine, glad you got an enlightened GP. Really hope it helps.

If it does work, remember you will need to get your DS weighed fairly often (esp if he is putting on weight fast) and change the amount to match his new weight (ask the doc for the formula to calculate how much per kg, it's a bit complicated but that way you can do it yourself without having to go back to the GP all the time)

If it does turn out to be reflux, apparently about 1/3 to 1/2 of reflux cases are linked with dairy/soy allergy, so if you are BF you could try cutting out all dairy and soy and see if that helps. It's hard work though due to all the hidden dairy in processed foods so I wouldn't try that until you are fairly sure it's a reflux problem. Or if you are FF then ask to try hypoallergenic formula.

TheNewShmoo - LO was 3 months. I took her to A&E who did a rapid referral to paedetrician. Paedetrician was skeptical but happy to prescribe. I think she was on a quarter of a tablet per day. Just once a day.

Swinging chair really helped us too. In fact at 9 months, she is currently in hers. I'd recommend the one which lays flat too and the one that has lights on top.

Swing something like this:

www.debenhams.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/prod_10701_10001_171010181299_-1

DS was about 7.2kg when he was put on 1.2ml. I was/am also EBF and as one of the other posters has mentioned I was also asked to go dairy and soya free, which is a pain as it is in so much stuff but you do get used to it. You said you've already excluded dairy, may be worth excluding soy as apparently dairy and soya proteins are very similar so many babies who are allergic or I tolerant to cows milk proteins will also be sensitive to soya.

I do know how you feel, my DS is about the same age as yours and my DD is 2.5 years old, its a hard time anyway but with an unhappy baby it's sooo much harder!

We borrowed a swing as heard them recommended so highly but although every baby who visits our house LOVES it my DS hates it so worth trying before you buy if you can! He does like his baby bjorn bouncer and the moby wrap - though if his reflux is bothering him nothing stops the crying